Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, September 9 Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award: Good Samaritan unknowingly stopped to help man who had been hired to kill him ______________________________________________________ Today, September 9 in 490 B.C. The Battle of Marathon took place between the invading Persian army and the Athenian Army. The marathon race was derived from the events that occurred surrounding this battle. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. --- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two poets, who had been bitter rivals, met each other on a street corner. Naturally the old rivalry resumed itself. "You know, " said the first poet, "since we last met, my readership has increased!" "Oh congratulations!" the second poet replied. "I didn't know you got married!" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The Matchmaker goes to see Mr Cohen, a confirmed bachelor for many years. "Mr Cohen, don't leave it too late. I have exactly the one you need. You only have to say the word and you'll meet and be married in no time!" says the Matchmaker. "Don't bother," replies Mr Cohen, "I've two sisters at home, who look after all my needs." "That's all well and good, but all the sisters in the world cannot fill the role of a wife." "I said 'two sisters'. I didn't say they were MY sisters!" ______________________________________________________ Langkawi Sky Bridge, Malaysia Hovering 400 feet above the ground the sky bridge has closed multiple times for maintenance but is now fully accessible to the public. _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ Thanks to Vickey for this GROANER: A MECHANIC AND HIS DOG A mechanic who worked out of his home had a dog named Mace. Mace had a bad habit of eating all the grass in the mechanic's lawn, so the mechanic had to keep Mace inside. The grass eventually became overgrown. One day the mechanic was working on a car in his backyard and dropped his wrench losing it in the tall grass. He couldn't find it for the life of him so he decided to call it a day. That night, Mace escaped from the house and ate all the grass in the backyard. The next morning, the mechanic went outside and saw his wrench glinting in the sunlight. Realizing what had happened, he looked up to the heavens and sang out loudly, proclaiming... (Are you ready for this?) "A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound that saved a wrench for me!" ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kelsey Terrance McFoley, 28, Benjamin Bascom, 24, Melissa Rios Roque, Deltona, Florida Good Samaritan unknowingly stopped to help man who had been hired to kill him The killing of Carlos Cruz-Echevarria, a 60-year-old Army veteran, seemed random at first. But authorities now say it was all too deliberate. The body of Cruz-Echevarria was found Nov. 11Veterans Daynear a disabled, stolen car on the side of a Deltona, Fla., road, the Orlando Sentinel reports. He had been shot in the head multiple times. His own truck was gone, later discovered burned some 30 miles away. This week, authorities arrested three suspects in the killing, which they now believe is connected to a murder-for- hire plot hatched to keep Cruz-Echevarria from testifying in a road rage case. Six months before he was murdered, Cruz- Echevarria honked at a vehicle that didnt move when a traffic signal turned green. The driver of the other carlater identified as Kelsey Terrance McFoley, 28caught up with Cruz-Echevarria and brandished a gun. Cruz-Echevarria got McFoleys license plate number and later identified him in a police photo lineup. With a record that included 29 felony charges, per the AP, McFoley was facing serious prison time. He discovered Cruz-Echevarrias address on a court document and, authorities say, hired Benjamin Bascom, 24, to kill the man before his Dec. 7 deposition. Driving around the area near Cruz-Echevarrias home, authorities say, Bascoms vehicle got stuck in a ditch. Cruz- Echevarria pulled up to help, and Bascom shot him in the head. The case went unsolved for months, and the road rage charges against McFoley were dropped. Later, though, investigators used DNA evidence and phone records to link McFoley, Bascom, and McFoleys girlfriend, Melissa Rios Roque, to the slaying of Cruz-Echevarria. All three face first-degree murder charges, and after many years of court battles, will be eligible for the death penalty. From: Hilla Re: Editor program Dear Webby, I need a plain text editor to edit and annotate text and simple HTML, that I can thenpaste into other programs or use as is. Thanks Hilla Dear Hilla I use NoteTab from http://notetab.com You can have dozens of documents open and shown in tabs, like the browsers do too nowadays. You can copy/paste between the documents, and to and from it's own Clipboard, and copy into spreadsheets or Writer or WORD documents, or upload as web pages. You can even save a web page, convert it to plain text, and use that for your purposes. It has, of course all the frills expected today like spell check, Find, Replace, Wordwrap on/off, and hundreds of other things. I have used NoteTab since 1997 for writing the Humor letter, and still occasionally find handy tools in it, that I have never needed before. I can highly recommend NoteTab! Have FUN DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A stewardess was getting very annoyed by three little children on the plane. They had been bugging her since take- off, complaining that they were hungry or bored or tired or thirsty or needed to go to the bathroom or whatever else you could imagine a small child commenting on and complaining about. Well, the stewardess had had enough. The next time the children said that they were bored, the stewardess told them to go play outside. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Thanks to Sandie for this: When I went to the doctor for my yearly physical, my blood pressure was high, my cholesterol was high, I'd gained some weight and I didn't feel so hot. My doctor said that eating right doesn't have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems. He said, "Just think in colors. Fill your plate with bright colors of greens, yellows, reds, etc." So, I went right home and emptied an entire bag of M&Ms onto a plate, ate them and sure enough, I felt better! ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com The Night Before School Starts The reporter met the plane that brought back soldiers from their year in Iraq. He wanted to write a human interest story, and asked one soldier, "What's the first thing you'll do when you get home?" The soldier immediately replied, "Spend an hour in bed with my wife." The reporter realized he'd never get that printed, and asked, "Oh. Well, and what will you do after that ?" "Take off these stupid combat boots!" Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | Sinister Sparkle Gallery: 13 Mysterious & Cursed Gemstones |
___________________________________________________ A lady on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide, "Look at all those big rocks. Wherever did they come from?" "The glaciers brought them down," said the guide. "But where are the glaciers?" The lady asked. "The glaciers," said the guide in a weary voice, "have gone back for more rocks." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A mother wanted to teach her daughter a moral lesson. She gave the little girl a quarter and a dollar for church. "Put whichever one you want in the collection plate and keep the other for yourself," she told the girl. When they were coming out of the church, the mother asked her daughter which amount she had given. "Well," said the little girl, "I was going to give the dollar, but just before the collection the man in the pulpit said that we should all be cheerful givers. I knew I'd be a lot more cheerful if I gave the quarter, so I did." ____________________________________________________ | Today, September 9 in 490 B.C. The Battle of Marathon took place between the invading Persian army and the Athenian Army. The marathon race was derived from the events that occurred surrounding this battle. 1776 The second Continental Congress officially made the term "United States", replacing the previous term "United Colonies." 1904 Mounted police were used for the first time in the City of New York. 1911 Italy declared war on the Ottoman Turks and annexed Libya, Tripolitania, and Cyrenaica in North Africa. 1919 The majority of Boston's police force went on strike. The force was made up of 1,500 men. 1919 Alexander Graham Bell and Casey Baldwin's HD-4, a hydrofoil craft, set a world marine speed record. 1942 Japan dropped incendiaries in an attempt to set fire to the forests in Oregon and Washington. The forests were wet and did not ignite. 1943 During World War II Allied forces landed at Taranto and Salerno. 1948 North Korea became the People's Democratic Republic of Korea. 1965 French President Charles de Gaulle announced that France was withdrawing from NATO to protest the domination of the U.S. in the organization. 1971 Gordie Howe of the Detroit Red Wings retired from the National Hockey League (NHL). 1981 Nicaragua declared a state of economic emergency and banned strikes. 1983 The Soviet Union announced that the Korean jetliner that was shot down on September 1, 1983 was not an accident or an error. 1986 Frank Reed was taken hostage in Lebanon by pro-Iranian kidnappers. The director of a private school in Lebanon was released 44 months later. 1986 Gennadiy Zakharov was indicted by a New York jury on espionage charges. Zakharov was a Soviet United Nations employee. 1993 Israeli and PLO leaders agreed to recognize each other. 1994 The U.S. agreed to accept about 20,000 Cuban immigrants a year. This was in return for Cuba's promise to halt the flight of refugees. 1994 The space shuttle Discovery blasted off on an 11-day mission. 1997 Sinn Fein, the IRA's political ally, formally renounced violence as it took its place in talks on Northern Ireland's future. 1998 Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr delivered to the U.S. Congress 36 boxes of material concerning his investigation of U.S. President Clinton. 1998 Four tourists who had paid $32,500 each were taken in submarine to view the wreckage of the Titanic. The ship is 2 miles below the Atlantic off Newfoundland. 1999 The Sega Dreamcast game system went on sale. By 1:00pm all Toys R Us locations in the U.S. had sold out. 2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 100 million applications downloaded. 2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 1.8 billion applications downloaded. 2014 Apple unveiled the iPhone 6, iPhone 6 Plus, Apple Watch, Apple Watch Sport and Apple Watch Edition. 2018 Do smiled. |
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