Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, September 27 Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award:  Indiana school bus driver caught on video allowing kids as young as 11 to drive her school bus  ______________________________________________________ Today, September 27 in 1825 George Stephenson operated the first locomotive that hauled a passenger train. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ 
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 I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them." --- Robert Orben ______________________________________________________ Airman Johnson was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Johnson had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Johnson's sales pitch. Johnson explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said: "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000." "Now," he concluded, "which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ >Thanks to Nina from Oz for this story: Neville the Aborigine had been out of work for a long time and when he was offered the job at the council as a garbage collector he decided to take it up. On his first day things were going great until he arrived at one house and noticed there was no wheelie bin out the front. Neville thought to himself, "I wanna do a good job and not get fired from here but if they find out I missed one house then I will get fired." So he went up to the door and knocked on it. To his surprise it was a fellow Aborigine who answered. Neville breathed a sigh of relief and said to the other bloke, "Where's ya bin?" The man replied, "I bin on 'olidays." Neville then said, "Na, mate, where's ya BIN?" "I bin on 'olidays I tell ya," was the reply. Neville, slightly frustrated, says, "Na, ya silly idiot. Where's ya Wheelie Bin?" The other bloke looked round to see who might be listening. "Well," he said. "I weally bin in jail but I'm tellin' everyone I bin on 'olidays, eh!" _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ Great Sales Technique A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it. Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled!" Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page. What he saw was yesterday's paper. The man said, "Hey, this is an old paper, where's the story about the big swindle?" The newsboy ignored him and went on calling out, "Read all about it. Fifty-one people swindled!" ______________________________________________________   Pragser Wildsee, IT _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________ Reported by Judy An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Joandrea McAtee, 27, Portage, Indiana.  Indiana school bus driver caught on video allowing kids as young as 11 to drive her school bus  A northwest Indiana school bus driver has been arrested after she allegedly let three students, ages 11, 13 and 17, drive her vehicle, according to police. The incident was caught on video and posted on Twitter. According to a police statement, Joandrea McAtee, 27, let the children drive her bus Thursday as she dropped students off after school in Valparaiso, a small city about 50 miles southeast of Chicago. McAtee, of nearby Portage, was arrested Friday after the Porter Township Schools Administration and the Porter County Sheriff's Office investigated a parent's complaint, the Northwest Indiana Times reported. Chief Deputy Jeff Biggs said in a news release that three students took turns driving a short distance in a rural area of Valparaiso. McAtee was arrested when she went to the Porter Township Bus Barn to pick up her paycheck, according to the news release. She is facing charges of neglect of a dependent, a felony, and was fired by Porter Township and the bus service provider. "The Porter Township School Corporation is angered and disappointed in the actions of this driver," Stacey Schmidt, the Porter Township School Corporation superintendent, said in an email to the paper. "The safety of our students is a top priority." "This individual's actions are not reflective of the hard work, dedication, and professionalism of our staff," Schmidt added. "We are thankful for the students and parents who came forward quickly with this information to both PTSC administration and law enforcement allowing us to respond expediently and take the proper steps to insure student safety." 
 >From Dennis Re: Temp Files  Dear Webby, As a long time reader of your humor letter, I've enjoyed everything from the daily quotations to your apt replies to computer questions, which is why I'm asking you instead of Microsoft. Not to mention that your solution will probably help other readers. While Spring Cleaning my overcrowded hard disk, I found that a mysteriously large 15% of its data is in a folder ominously called: Documents and Settings with 7.48 GB. Of that the lion's share is in: C:\Documents and Settings\Dennis\Local Settings\Temp (an invisible file, seemingly a warning not to meddle) containing a whopping 6.46 GB in 19,500 files, 146 folders. Surely this is an unreasonable amount of disk space for setting, yet a non-expert hesitates to monkey with something that might upset valued programs, so how to slim down this bloated mess? Thanks for any advice & the daily grins, Dennis  Dear Dennis Just open the (files) Explorer (not MSIE), highlight C:\ Right-click it Click on the Disk Cleanup button Let it do it's thing. It will take a few minutes. After that, most of that temp stuff will be gone, and your machine will run a bit faster. I usually do that as the last item of a tune-up. The first item is running Spybot-Search&Destroy. Normally I do a tune-up like that every Saturday night, and once a month I reboot, whether it needs it or not. Have FUN DearWebby  
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. 
 A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. A Clean House Is A Sign Of A Misspent Life A Husband Is Someone Who Takes Out The Trash And Gives The Impression He Just Cleaned The Whole House A Messy Kitchen Is A Happy Kitchen...And This Kitchen Is Delirious Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. Countless Number Of People Have Eaten In This Kitchen and Gone On To Lead Normal Lives Help Keep the Kitchen Clean Eat Out Housework Done Properly Can Kill You My next house will have no kitchen just vending machines. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. 
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 >From Bobbie My wife and I were making our own funeral arrangements, and the director showed us into a room in which containers for ashes were on display. After we looked at the choices, I asked my wife if she had decided. She sighed. "Yes, the wood-finish one, as it will likely go into the ground." After a moment's pause, however, she continued. "But I really prefer the blue one. You know I always look good in blue." ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Hiring Movers If you are hiring movers, be sure to ask them what their insurance covers before packing anything yourself. Quite often, they will only cover boxes that they have packed.  Unless you want to use the move as an opportunity to sort what to keep and what to toss, let the movers do the packing. They don't get emotional over items you thought you had lost, and they know how to pack stuff quickly and efficiently and safely. DearWebby  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
10 Unsolved Mysteries From The Middle Ages That Still Baffle Experts Today 
 ___________________________________________________ Those of us who worked at the front desk of a convention hotel in Williamsburg, Va., prided ourselves on making the guests feel special. When someone arrived at reception, credit card in hand, we would sneak a peek at it and address him by name. Once during a particularly busy check-in, one of our guests presented a corporate credit card. "Welcome to Williamsburg, Mr. Bell," the desk clerk said. "Oh, please," the man replied, "call me Taco." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 They were burying Irish Pat today and the Irish Priest was explaining to the congregation that before they could put Pat to rest, someone had to get up and say something nice about Pat, even though Pat was a womanizer, a drunk and a fighter. No one got up. So the priest got up again and said,"Maybe I didn't explain me-self properly. Before we can put Paddy in his grave, one of you MUST get up and say something nice about the man. It's our duty as Irishmen and Catholics." So as the priest sat down again, Little Murphy in the back pew got up, cleared his throat, and with his porkpie hat in his hand said, "His brother was even worse!". ____________________________________________________  
 Today, September 27 in 1779 John Adams was elected to negotiate with the British over the American Revolutionary War peace terms. 1825 George Stephenson operated the first locomotive that hauled a passenger train. 1894 The Aqueduct Race Track opened in New York City, NY. 1928 The U.S. announced that it would recognize the Nationalist Chinese Government. 1938 The League of Nations branded the Japanese as aggressors in China. 1939 After 19 days of resistance, Warsaw, Poland, surrendered to the Germans after being invaded by the Nazis and the Soviet Union during World War II. 1940 The Berlin-Rome-Tokyo Axis was set up. The military and economic pact was for 10 years between Germany, Italy and Japan. 1962 The U.S. sold Hawk anti-aircraft missiles to Israel. 1968 The U.K.'s entry into the European Common Market was barred by France. 1982 Italian and French soldiers entered the Sabra and Chatilla refugee camps in Beirut. The move was made by the members of a multinational force due to hundreds of Palestinians being massacred by Christian militiamen. 1989 Columbia Pictures Entertainment agreed to buy out Sony Corporation for $3.4 billion. 1989 Two men went over the 176-foot-high Niagara Falls in a barrel. Jeffrey Petkovich and Peter Debernardi were the first to ever survive the Horshoe Falls. 1990 The deposed emir of Kuwait addressed the U.N. General Assembly and denounced the "rape, destruction and terror" that Iraq had inflicted upon his country. 1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush eliminated all land-based tactical nuclear arms and removed all short-range nuclear arms from ships and submarines around the world. Bush then called on the Soviet Union to do the same. 1994 More than 350 Republican congressional candidates signed the Contract with America. It was a 10-point platform they pledged to enact if voters sent a GOP majority to the House. 2004 North Korean Vice Foreign Minister Choe Su Hon announced that North Korea had turned plutonium from 8,000 spent nuclear fuel rods into nuclear weapons. He also said that the weapons were to serve as a deterrent against increasing U.S. nuclear threats and to prevent nuclear war in northeast Asia. The U.S. State Department noted that the U.S. has repeatedly said that the U.S. has no plans to attack North Korea. 2015 The space probe Dawn was launched by NASA. Dawn entered orbit around protoplanet Vesta on July 16, 2011 and entered orbit around Ceres on March 6, 2015. 2018 Do smiled. 
 

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