Good Morning, Do, Today is Thursday, February 8 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Alabama man star of viral Facebook child porn video surrendered to police after manhunt Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, February 8 in 1861 The Confederate States of America was formed. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ They certainly give very strange names to diseases. --- Plato (427 BC - 347 BC) If you don't find it in the index, look very carefully through the entire catalogue. --- Sears, Roebuck, and Co. Consumer's Guide, 1897 "I'm in favor of liberalized immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I'd let just about everybody in, except the English." --- Calvin Tillin ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A busload of politicians were driving down a country road one afternoon, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to investigate. He then proceeded to use his loader to dig a big hole and bury the politicians. Somehow, some of the politicians survived, and continued to plead for someone to rescue them from beneath the earth. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer, "Were they all dead?" "Well," The old farmer replied with a thoughtful expression, "some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie." ______________________________________________________ Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old buddy Johnny, "How come you aren't married?" Johnny: "I haven't found the right woman yet." George: "So what are you looking for?" Johnny: "Oh she's got to be real pretty, - a good cook and house- keeper, and she's got to know how to handle money, a really nice and pleasant personality is a must -and money, she's got to have money...and a home, a nice big house, is what she has to have." George: "A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU." Johnny: "Oh, it's okay if she is crazy." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ Thanks to Dave for this story: Flying into a Middle East airport, my co-pilot and I reviewed our flight plan for the trip back to the USS Enterprise. We were to pick up a Navy captain, and experience had taught me that even seasoned vets turn white-knuckled during carrier landings. Once the captain was strapped in, I turned around to welcome him aboard. "Sir," I asked, "will this be your first carrier landing?" Looking at me with disdain, he opened his inflatable vest to display gold wings above five rows of ribbons. "Son," he said, "I have over 500 carrier landings in jet fighters." "That's good to hear," my co-pilot said, winking at me, "because this will be our first." _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Germaine Moore, 44, Elmore County jail Alabama Alabama man star of viral Facebook child porn video surrendered to police after manhunt An Alabama man wanted in connection with a video that showed the sexual assault of a child that went viral last week has handed himself into police after a manhunt. Germaine Moore turned himself into police on Tuesday (6 February) and is being held at Elmore County Jail where he has been charged with multiple counts of criminal sexual conduct. The 44-year-old was also charged with sexually assaulting four girls all under the age of 13 from 2011 and 2017, in Alabama and Detroit. According to a release from Central Alabama CrimeStoppers Moore surrendered at about 2.30am after warrants were issued. Moore is believed to have been recorded in a disgusting video that had been shared around the world, which was believed to show a young girl performing a sex act. CrimeStoppers released a warning to the public last week about the video of sexual abuse involving a young child circulating on social media. It was reported by the Associated Press (AP) that the victim has been located and is safe while Moore's wife had been detained and was not cooperating. "Due to a video being shared at an alarming rate, CrimeStoppers reached out to our Law Enforcement Partners and asked was there anything that the media could do to stop the spread of the video," Executive Director Tony Garrett said according to the Montgomery Advertiser. Garrett said the video may have been shared by some people who may have hoped to identify the abuser, but authorities have reminded people that sharing the video is a felony. Moore has been charged with the sexual assault of a child, distribution of a video depicting the assault and first-degree criminal sexual conduct. In addition Moore also faces 11 felony charges in Detroit, where prosecutors allege that he sexually assaulted three girls from 2011 to 2017. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Merri Lynn Re: telemarketers messages Dear Webby, Hi Friend Webby, I think you may have given some info on this subject before but "good gravy" I did not write it down at the time. How do I stop these telemarketers from leaving messages on my phone? I have to listen to the whole message before I can erase it- this is really starting to annoy me-any help would be greatly appreciated-you are like a ray of sunshine in my humdrum day. And not all days are that way-and then you are still a warm fuzzy. TOO MUch Gush?? Have a day of love and laughs, thanks always, Merri Lynn Dear Merri Lynn I think word has gotten around amongst telemarketers that I have Winfax and know how to use it. They have not left messages or sent faxes for at least 10 years, even though I have long since forgotten how to use Winfax. I used to have a letter that told them in extremely undiplomatic language what I thought of their dumb idea of leaving a message on my answering machine, complete with some not so nice illustrations to amplify my points. It was a real "Thunder from the pulpit" sermon, amounting to exactly 33 pages. Then I set Winfax to send it to them every night, and of course set to keep trying until completed. If they had voice/fax combos, they were greeted with 30 feet of used fax paper. If they didn't, Winfax kept calling them and greeting them with a cheerfully howling fax raspberry, until they changed their number. You can even set Winfax as a "Fax on demand" station, and automatically fax a long help file to them if they let the phone ring 4 times. Just warn your friends to never be so rude as to let it ring 4 times, or else ... Nowadays the answering machine is set to tell them to send me an email, and does not record any message. Most telemarketers are not web literate, and the few that are, are taken care of by MailWasher. Don't get mad, Merri Lynn, get even ! Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. The teacher brought a Venus statue in class and asks, "What do you like best about it, class? Let's start with you, Robert." "The artwork," says Robert. "Very good. And you, Peter?" "Her boobs!" says Peter. "Peter, get out! Go stand in the hall," responds the teacher with disgust. "And you, Johnny?" "I'm leaving, teacher, I'm leaving..." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
The dentist was striving to extract a tooth, but every time he got ready to proceed, the patient clamped his jaws. At last, he took his assistant aside and told her at the very moment he poised the pliers, to give the patient's balls a vicious pinch. The pinch was administered, the nervous patient's mouth flew open, and the tooth was easily removed. "Didn't hurt, did it?" asked the dentist. "Not too much," replied the patient, "but who would have thought the root went that deep?!" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Heavy Lifting When you are lifting something heavy, bend your knees, not your waist. Use your legs to support the weight. You'll put less pressure on your back that way. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ The drunk was brought into night court, having been picked up on suspicion of being the notorious night prowler. "What were you doing out at 3 A.M.?" the judge sternly queried. "I was going to a lecture." "A lecture at 3 A.M.?" The judge was scornful. "Oh, sure," said the drunk. "Sometimes my wife stays up a lot longer than that just to lecture me." Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" "But why, Mom? I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!" "Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready." "Give me two reasons why I *should* go to school." "Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the PRINCIPAL!" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, February 8, in 1802 Simon Willard patented the banjo clock. 1861 The Confederate States of America was formed. 1861 A Cheyenne delegation and some Arapaho leaders accepted a new settlement (Treaty of Fort Wise) with the U.S. Federal government. The deal ceded most of their land but secured a 600-square mile reservation and annuity payments. 1900 In South Africa, British troops under Gen. Buller were beaten at Ladysmith. The British fled over the Tugela River. 1904 The Russo-Japanese War began with Japan attacking Russian forces in Manchuria. 1910 William D. Boyce incorporated the Boy Scouts of America. 1918 During World War I, "The Stars and Stripes" was published under orders from General John J. Pershing for the United States Army forces in France. It was published from February 8, 1918 to June 13, 1919. 1922 The White House began using radio after U.S. President Harding had it installed. 1952 Queen Elizabeth II ascended to the British throne. Her father, George VI, had died on February 6. 1963 The Kennedy administration prohibited travel to Cuba and made financial and commercial transactions with Cuba illegal for U.S. citizens. 1963 Lamar Hunt, owner of the American Football League franchise in Dallas, TX, moved the operation to Kansas City. The new team was named the Chiefs. 1969 The last issue of the "Saturday Evening Post" was published. It was revived in 1971 as a quarterly publication and later a 6 times a year. 1971 The Nasdaq stock-market index debuted. 1973 U.S. Senate leaders named seven members of a select committee to investigate the Watergate scandal. 1974 The three-man crew of the Skylab space station returned to Earth after 84 days. 1978 The U.S. Senate deliberations were broadcast on radio for the first time. The subject was the Panama Canal treaties. 1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter announced a plan to re-introduce draft registration. 1985 "The Dukes of Hazzard" ended its 6-1/2 year run on CBS television. :( 1993 General Motors sued NBC, alleging that "Dateline NBC" had rigged two car-truck crashes to show that some GM pickups were prone to fires after certain types of crashes. The suit was settled the following day by NBC. 2018 Do smiled. |
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