Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, March 26 ___________________________________________________ Today, March 26 in  1997 The 39 bodies of Heaven's Gate members are found in a mansion in Rancho Santa Fe, CA. The group had committed suicide thinking that they would be picked up by a spaceship following behind the comet Hale-Bopp.  ______________________________________________________ Literature is an occupation in which you have to keep proving your talent to people who have none. --- Jules Renard (1864 - 1910) 
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Today's Bonehead Award: Gang of women let pedophiles rape children as young as 3 for cash  __________________________________________ The boss ordered one of his men to dig a hole 8-feet deep. After the job was completed the boss returned and explained an error had been made and the hole wouldn't be needed. "Fill 'er up," he ordered. The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a problem. He couldn't get all the dirt packed back into the hole without leaving a mound on top. He went to the office and explained his problem. The boss snorted. "Honestly! The kind of help you get these days! There's obviously only one thing to do. You'll have to dig that hole deeper!" __________________________________________   __________________________________________ After receiving his pills from the pharmacist, the customer asked, "Are these time release pills?" The pharmacist replied, "Yes. They begin to work after your check clears." ___________________________________________________   An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Dzung Ninh, 55, Wichita, Kansas 
 Gang of women let pedophiles rape children as young as 3 for cash 
 Magan Richmond, 32, Tasha Stringer, 37, and Kathryn McMullen, 36, are accused of taking the children to a home in Wheelersburg, Ohio A trio of women allegedly took children as young as three to a home where they let multiple pedophiles rape the youngsters for cash. Magan Richmond, 32, Tasha Stringer, 37, and Kathryn McMullen, 36, are accused of taking the children to a home in Wheelersburg, Ohio, where pedophiles then sexually abused them and recorded the attacks. The women are said to have organized the abuse in return for drugs and cash, with the boys and girls they exploited ranging in age from three years-old to 13. Scioto County Sheriffs Office began investigating the alleged pedophile ring after receiving evidence of the alleged child abuse, and arrested all three women over the weekend. They were assisted by the FBI, with Richmond, Stringer and McMullen each facing a charge of first-degree rape. All three women are being held in Scioto County Jail on $100,000 ahead of their first court appearance Monday. Their alleged victims whose relationships to the women have not been outlined have since been taken into custody by social services. It is unclear whether police have arrested the pedophiles who filmed themselves raping the children.  DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Buzzy Re: Tech Support memorabilia  Dear Webby, Some highlights of my career: Secretary: "My printer is flashing '''Error 13 Paper Out" Buzzy: "Check to see if there is paper in the machine" Secretary: "Already did, no - there is no paper in the machine" Buzzy: "Try filling the paper bin, see if that fixes the 'error''." Secretary: "Hold on.... Yes that fixed it, but every time it runs out of paper I get the error again." Buzzy: SILENT (I had nothing to say...) From the old days of DOS, remember the 5.25-inch floppy discs? VP Marketing: "I am getting an ''Error reading drive A:' message" Buzzy: "Is there a disc in A" VP Marketing: "Yes, the first disc worked fine. The problem started when it asked for disc 2 to be inserted." Buzzy: "Perhaps the disc is defective." VP Marketing: "Yes, it could be. I have two in there now, and I don't know if the other 5 are going to fit into that small slot." Secretary: "I need a tech to come and fix my printer." Buzzy: "What is the problem." Secretary: "It is printing misspelled words and Mr. XXXXXX is upset with me." Buzzy: "Did you try running the spellchecker on your WordPerfect?" Secretary: "Yes, but it only fixed the words on the screen. The document I printed remained incorrect." Buzzy: "Try printing the document AFTER running spell check." User: "Hi, I signed up for your Internet service and I am having trouble getting on." Buzzy: "Did you install the CD we sent you?" User: "Yes, everything went fine." Buzzy: "Can you hear your modem dialing?" User: "Yes, but it tells me it cannot detect a dial tone." Buzzy: "Do you have a phone line plugged into your modem?" User: "You never said I needed a phone line to use your service. I want a refund." Buzzy: His money was CHEERFULLY refunded! Another from the old days of DOS Executive: "I am having trouble finding the 'ANY KEY', the screen says to hit 'ANY KEY' to continue." Buzzy: "I'll have to get someone out there to install the 'ANY KEY', in the meantime just hit the space bar." Secretary: "My new computer does not work." Buzzy: "What is the problem?" Secretary: "Well the mouse does not work." Buzzy: Went to her desk and found the mouse on the floor. She thought it was a foot pedal. Executive: "My computer is making funny beeping noises. [Hold phone to PC and I hear a series of fast beeps.]" Buzzy: "Sounds like a key is stuck down. Are you holding any keys down?" Executive: "No, I am not touching it." Buzzy: Went to his desk and noticed the keyboard in a puddle of cola. Executive: "Could that be the problem?" Buzzy: "It is ONE of the problems..." Secretary: "I cannot open a file on the disc I was given." Buzzy: After trying on the phone to help her, I needed to look at the file. "Please send me a copy of the disc." Later in an inter-office memo folder was a photocopy of the disc. From the days of the 5.25inch floppies... Secretary: "I am getting 'Error reading drive A', it worked fine yesterday." Buzzy: After trying a number of things on the phone I went to her desk. Secretary: "See it works fine now, but after I label it, it gives me errors. Buzzy: After she wrote to the disc, she dutifully placed it in her typewriter to label it. From the days of the 5.25inch floppies... Secretary: "I am getting 'Error reading drive A', it worked fine yesterday." Buzzy: After asking the usual questions on the phone, I went to her cubicle to find a number of floppies attached to her bulletin board with pushpins. Secretary: "My mouse is not working properly." Buzzy: "What is the problem?" Secretary: "When I go right, it goes left, when I go up it goes down." Buzzy: "Turn the mouse so the tail is pointing AWAY from you." Secretary: "Oh thanks, it is much easier to use this way." User: "I am getting an 'ACCESS DENIED' when I try to log into your Internet service." Buzzy: After verifying username and password. "Are you typing in your username an password in lower case? It is case sensitive." User: "My keyboard only has capital letters on it." My FORMER Employer, the head of a '.com' company: "Buzzy, could you print out the Internet for me. I don't have a computer at home and I would like to surf the net this weekend. Note: This Company is no longer in business (wonder why?) Phone caller: "Hi, is this the Internet?" Buzzy: "Well, we provide access to the Internet. Can I help you? Phone caller: "No, I want to speak to the REAL Internet, not just an access company." Buzzy: "Uh....um.... Try directory assistance."  Dear Buzzy Those are definitely memorable calls! Have FUN! DearWebby 

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 ____________________________________________________  
  
: Prank Compilation: Supernatural Pranks  
 _____________________________________________ 
 There was a Barber Shop on a military reservation, and a Colonel and a Sergeant are both getting haircuts. The Colonel's barber is about done with him, and asks him if he wishes hair tonic. The Colonel says, "Hell no, if I get that stuff on my hair, my wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!" Right after that, the Sergeant's barber asks him the same question. The Sergeant replies, "Go ahead and put some on, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like!" _____________________________________________ A friend and I were driving to the mall when we came to a bridge under construction. The road narrowed to one lane, with a red light at either end. We stopped at the red light at on our side and when it turned green we started up again. Halfway through we met another car coming towards us. The driver leaned out his window and shouted, "I don't back up for idiots!" Putting his car into reverse, my friend called back, "No problem. I do." ____________________________________________ My Uncle Joe was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client. "Now, ladies and gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant. Can you sit there in the jury and honestly believe that if my client had a quart of whiskey he would sell it?" He was acquitted. ____________________________________________ 
 No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today March 26 1026 Conrad II was crowned Holy Roman Emperor by Pope John XIX. 1799 Napoleon captured Jaffa Palestine. 1793 The Holy Roman Emperor formally declared war on France. 1804 The U.S. Congress ordered the removal of Indians east of the Mississippi to Louisiana. 1871 The Paris Commune was formally set up. 1885 Eastman Kodak (Eastman Dry Plate and Film Co.) produced the first commercial motion picture film in Rochester, NY. 1898 In South Africa, the world's first game reserve, the Sabi Game reserve, was designated. 1909 Russian troops invaded Persia to support Muhammad Ali as shah in place of the constitutional government. 1910 The U.S. Congress passed an amendment to the 1907 Immigration Act that barred criminals, paupers, anarchists and carriers of disease from settling in the U.S. 1913 During the Balkan War, the Bulgarians took Adrianople. 1917 At the start of the battle of Gaza, the British cavalry withdrew when 17,000 Turks blocked their advance. 1937 Spinach growers in Crystal City, TX, erected a statue of Popeye. 1938 Herman Goering warned all Jews to leave Austria. 1942 The Germans began sending Jews to Auschwitz in Poland. 1945 The battle of Iwo Jima ended. 1945 In the Aleutians, the battle of Komandorski began when the Japanese attempted to reinforce a garrison at Kiska and were intercepted by a U.S. naval force. 1953 Dr. Jonas Salk announced a new vaccine that would prevent poliomyelitis. 1958 The U.S. Army launched America's third successful satellite, Explorer III. 1971 Sheikh Mujibur Rahman declared East Pakistan to be the independent republic of Bangladesh. 1973 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat took over the premiership and said "the stage of total confrontation (with Israel) has become inevitable." 1979 The Camp David treaty was signed by Israel and Egypt that ended the 31-year state of war between the countries. 1982 Ground breaking ceremonies were held in Washington, DC, for the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. 1983 The U.S. performed a nuclear test at the Nevada Test Site. 1989 The first free elections took place in the Soviet Union. Boris Yeltsin was elected. 1991 The presidents of Argentina, Paraguay, Brazil and Uruguay signed an agreement that established the Southern Cone Common Market, a free-trade zone, by January 1, 1995. 1992 In Indianapolis, heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson was found guilty of rape. He was sentenced to 6 years in prison. He only served three. 1995 Seven of the 15 European Union states abolished border controls. 1996 The International Monetary Fund approved a $10.2 billion loan for Russia to help the country transform its economy. 1997 The 39 bodies of Heaven's Gate members are found in a mansion in Rancho Santa Fe, CA. The group had committed suicide thinking that they would be picked up by a spaceship following behind the comet Hale-Bopp. 1998 In the U.S., the Federal government endorses new HIV test that yields instant results. 1998 Unisys Corp. and Lockheed Martin Corp. pay a $3.15 million fine for selling spare parts at inflated prices to the U.S. federal government. 1999 The macro virus "Melissa" was reported for the first time. 1999 In Michigan, Dr. Jack Kevorkian was convicted of second-degree murder for giving a terminally ill man a lethal injection and putting it all on videotape on September 17, 1998 for "60 Minutes." 2000 The Seattle Kingdome was imploded to make room for a new football arena. I watched that online. 2000 In Russia, acting President Vladimir Putin was elected president outright. He won a sufficient number of votes to avoid a runoff election. 2020 Do smiled. 
 
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