Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, January 12 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award 15-year sentence for man who crippled victim with stolen car  ___________________________________________________ Today, January 12 in 1940 Soviet bombers raided cities in Finland. _____________________________________________________ Most people would rather be certain they're miserable than risk being happy. --- Robert Anthony _____________________________________________________ A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the back seat. The two women just won't leave the poor man alone. His mother-in-law says, "You're driving too fast!" His wife says, "Stay to the right!" After several more orders from both of them the man breaks down and barks at his wife, "Who's driving this car, anyway, you or your mother?" _____________________________________________________ The showers in Jo's daughter's dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To warn others, residents would yell out, "Flushing!" each time they flushed the toilets. During one of Jo's daughter's visits home, a friend stopped by to chat for a while. Jo was explaining how her daughter was acting more distant now that she was in college, and that she didn't tell her all about her life the way she used to. Suddenly they heard the daughter call out from the bathroom, "Flushing!" "Good grief," said Jo's friend, "How much more do you want to know?" _____________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________ A group of women were talking together. One woman said, "Our congregation is sometimes down to 30 or 40 on a Sunday." Another said: "That's nothing. Sometimes our congregation is down to six or seven." A lady in her seventies added her bit, "That's not so bad. In our church it is bad! It's so bad in our church on Sundays that when the minister says 'dearly beloved,' it makes me blush!" __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Matthew Kelly, 48, New London, Connecticut, USA  15-year sentence for man who crippled victim with stolen car  Calling his crime horrendous, a New London Superior Court judge on Wednesday sentenced a 48-year-old former Norwich man to 15 years in prison for repeatedly running over a man with a stolen vehicle, leaving the recently retired victim bound to a wheelchair. Judge Hillary Strackbein also ordered Matthew Kelly to serve five years of probation on the first-degree assault charge he previously pleaded guilty to. The sentence was stayed until Jan. 22 to allow Kelly to complete a prison psychiatric program. Assistant States Attorney Stephen Carney said Kelly on March 25, 2019 stole a car from a Jewett City parking lot belonging to the victim and deliberately ran him over repeatedly. (The victim) suffered catastrophic injuries, including a crushed pelvis, Carney said. According to an arrest warrant affidavit, at about 9:30 p.m. on the day of the crime, the then-67-year-old owner of a 2006 Ford Focus parked it outside the Country Farm convenience store and left it running while he went inside to get a newspaper and milk. Kelly earlier that evening had taken a bus to Jewett City from Norwich, met another man and was drinking with him behind the convenience store, according to police. Kelly told police he drank about four, 24-ounce Natty Daddy beers and snorted Wellbutrin. He said he was arguing over the phone with his girlfriend and remembered deciding to kill himself, police said. Kelly left the other man and walked to the front of the store, got into the Ford and started backing it out of the parking space, police said. The owner told police the clerk said, Hey look, hes stealing your car, and the owner went out and saw his car being backed into a fence. After hitting the fence, Kelly drove the car forward, police said, and hit the owner, who was sprawled on the hood. With the owner still riding the hood, Kelly drove out of the parking lot and off the sidewalk, police said, tossing the owner off the hood and onto Main Street in front of the car. Surveillance videos show Kelly then drove forward north on Main Street, running over the owner with one front tire, then backing up and running over him again, going over a sidewalk and backing into a streetlight pole, police said. After hitting the light pole, police said, Kelly went north on Main Street and turned onto Ashland Street, where he hit a truck in the intersection, then turned onto Pleasant View Street, where he struck a curb and went off the road and rammed into a tree. Kellys lawyer Mike Miller said his client suffers from substance abuse and mental health issues and survived a tough childhood. Kids like that dont get a fair start and end up going down the wrong path, Miller said. Kelly, in his address to the court, said his intention that night was only to harm himself. "I'm not sure why I did it, but I didn't want to hurt anyone," he said. Strackbein saved her empathy for the victim, noting Kelly has racked up more than 40 charges since 1991, including for impaired driving, burglary and larceny. (The victim) is a man who recently retired - he worked - and is now in a wheelchair forever, she said, calling Kellys actions despicable.  
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From:Jessie Re: Tape to CD  Dear Webby I get a lot of good tips from you. Thank you. Can you tell me if there is a way to record from a Cassette to a CD? I have an Iomega Super DVD/CD burner that I can record from my camcorder to, but haven't figured out the cassette. Thanks for any help. Jessie  Dear Jessie Yes, sure there is a way. Connect a cable with male 1/8" headphone plugs on each end from the headphone socket on your tape player to the AUX-IN or the microphone socket on your computer, then record it with any sound recording software. The AUX-IN socket is the one that has neither a headphone nor a microphone symbol, but something weird and incomprehensible. AUX-IN is usually colored blue. Most sound cards come with some basic sound recording software, and you can find lots more with google. Windows Sound Recorder works too. My favorite is Audacity Have FUN! DearWebby 
 A teacher asks his fifth-grade students to write an essay telling what they would do if they had 5 million dollars. Each of them begins scribbling away immediately -- all, that is, but one little boy who sits idle, looking out the window. When the teacher stroll around the room he sees only one short sentence on his sheet. "What is this?" the teacher asks. "Is this your essay? Everyone else has written two pages or more, and you have done nothing." "Well," the little fellow replies brightly, "read it. That's exactly what I would do if I had 5 million dollars." The teacher bent down and read: "Hire someone to do the work for me, especially the writing." 
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 "You and your husband don't seem to have an awful lot in common," said the new tenant's neighbor. "Why on earth did you get married?" "I suppose it was the old business of 'opposites attract'," was the reply. "He wasn't pregnant and I was." ____________________________________________ Dear Abby's Essential Guide to Women's English: Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No I'm sorry = You'll be sorry We need = I want It's your decision = You will be sorry, no matter which way you decide Do what you want = You'll pay for this later We need to talk = I need to complain Sure go ahead = You will be sorry if you do I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron Be romantic, turn out the lights = I feel flabby This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive How much do you love me? = I did something really stupid today I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me Are you listening to me!? = Don't expect reason or logic from this point on ____________________________________________ At one of the last all girl schools in Dallas years ago, the instructor in a "Charm Course" was urging her students to give their escorts every chance to be gallant. "Remain seated in the truck until he has had time to step around and open the door for you," she said. Then, returning to reality, she added, "But, if the big, dumb klutz is in the restaurant ordering his steak or flirting ... don't wait any longer." ____________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today Jan 12 in 1519 Holy Roman Emperor Maximilian I died. 1773 The first public museum in America was established in Charleston, SC. 1866 The Royal Aeronautical Society was founded in London. 1875 Kwang-su was made emperor of China. 1879 The British-Zulu War began when the British invaded Zululand. 1882 Thomas Edison's central station on Holborn Viaduct in London began operation. 1896 At Davidson College, several students took x-ray photographs. They created the first X-ray photographs to be made in America. 1904 Henry Ford set a new land speed record when he reached 91.37 miles per hour. 1908 A wireless message was sent long-distance for the first time from the Eiffel Tower in Paris. 1915 The U.S. House of Representatives rejected a proposal to give women the right to vote. 1915 The U.S. Congress established the Rocky Mountain National Park. 1938 Austria recognized the Franco government in Spain. 1940 Soviet bombers raided cities in Finland. 1942 U.S. President Roosevelt created the National War Labor Board. 1943 The Office of Price Administration announced that standard frankfurters/hot dogs/wieners would be replaced by 'Victory Sausages.' 1945 During World War II, Soviet forces began a huge offensive against the Germans in Eastern Europe. 1948 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that states could not discriminate against law-school applicants because of race. 1964 Leftist rebels in Zanzibar began their successful revolt against the government and a republic was proclaimed. 1966 U.S. President Johnson said in his State of the Union address that the United States should stay in South Vietnam until Communist aggression there was ended. 1970 The breakaway state of Biafra capitulated and the Nigerian civil war came to an end. 1970 Nigeria's civil war ended. 1971 "All In the Family" debuted on CBS-TV. 1973 Yassar Arafat was re-elected as head of the Palestinian Liberation Organization. 1986 Space shuttle Columbia blasted off with a crew that included the first Hispanic-American in space, Dr. Franklin R. Chang-Diaz. 1991 The U.S. Congress passed a resolution authorizing President Bush to use military power to force Iraq out of Kuwait. 1995 Northern Ireland Secretary Patrick Mayhew announced that as of January 16 British troops would no longer carry out daylight street patrols in Belfast. 1998 Tyson Foods Inc. pled guilty to giving $12,000 to former Agriculture Secretary Mike Espy. Tyson was fined $6 million. 1998 19 European nations agreed to prohibit human cloning. 1998 Linda Tripp provided Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr's office with taped conversations between herself and former White House intern Monica Lewinsky. 2000 The U.S. Supreme Court, in a 5-4 ruling, gave police broad authority to stop and question people who run at the sight of an officer. 2005 NASA launched "Deep Impact". The spacecraft was planned to impact on Comet Tempel 1 after a six-month, 268 million- mile journey. 2021 Do smiled. 
 

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