Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, February 9 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Fresno man loses job, faces 100+ years in prison on child sex case ___________________________________________________ Today, February 9 in 1969 The Boeing 747 flew its inaugural flight. ____________________________________________________ Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. --- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769 - 1821) ____________________________________________________ A tour bus load full of noisy tourists arrives at Runnymede, England. They gather around the guide who says, "This is the spot where the barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta." A man pushing his way to the front of the crowd asks, "When did that happen?" "1215," answers the guide. The man looks at his watch and says, "Shoot! We missed it by a half hour!" ____________________________________________________ A couple went shopping at the mall. They decided to go their separate ways and meet two hours later. The husband was at their appointed meeting place at the appointed time, but there was no sign of his wife. After waiting for half an hour, he started looking for her but couldn't find her in any of the stores she usually frequented. Finally, thoroughly tired of looking for her, he approached a beautiful lady on a mall bench. He smiled at her and said, "Please, talk to me! Quick!" She said, "Why?" "Because I've been looking for my wife all over this silly mall and I can't find her," the man replied. "How will talking to me help you find your wife? I have absolutely no idea what she looks like, much less where she is." "I didn't think you did. However, every time I start talking to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere!" ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ When Steven returned to the house one evening, his wife Sarah announced that the new cleaning woman they had hired had stolen two towels. "Hmmm," said Steven very disinterested, and reclining on the sofa, "that wasn't very nice of her to do." "You're darn right it wasn't," Sarah said. "And they were the two best towels we had... the ones I nipped at that Hotel on our honeymoon." __________________________________________________ Reported by the bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brent Cox, Fresno, California, USA Fresno man loses job, faces 100+ years in prison on child sex case Investigators have evidence Brent Cox directed the 12-year- old's mother to interfere with their investigation and get the child to change her story about what happened. Prosecutors filed a child sex case against a Fresno man Friday for allegedly abusing a 12-year-old girl. Action News has learned sordid details about what happened in the house where Brent Cox lived with his wife Jill and an adult girlfriend, including firsthand accounts of a creepy Christmas, and some evidence that led to more arrests. Cox is accused of committing sex crimes against the girlfriend's 12-year-old daughter. The women are accused of helping or covering up. Investigators have evidence he directed the mother to interfere with their investigation and get the girl to change her story about what happened. "Thank God that child's out because this just breaks my heart," Lopez said. "It's sad. It's very sad and I hope she gets help." Cox worked at Tioga Sequoia Brewing. Managers there tell us the allegations came as a shock and he's terminated DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Maryann Re: Stock recommendation Dear Webby I got an email today that recommended that I buy a certain stock because it was bound to go up. Is it safe to trust that? Maryann Dear Maryann Always remember that spammers lie. If you have stock of that company, dump it, fast! Obviously it is going to drop soon and they are trying to con those people, who are dumb enough to believe spam, into taking it off their hands. Have Fun! DearWebby Two kids, aged 10 and 12 were sitting under a quilt on the couch watching television. Their mother joined them, and complained that there was not enough quilt for her. The 10 year old replied "That's because the quilt is in portrait not landscape!" And sure enough, when we turned the quilt to "landscape", they all fit under it quite nicely! | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ >From Lisa Jack is making dinner I've seen it all before French fries black and burning And meatloaf on the floor Jack is making dinner The sugar bowl just broke Fido ate the gravy The house has filled with smoke Jack is making dinner But I'm not one to moan Soon he will surrender And go pick up the phone Jack made the dinner Today's my lucky day Dinner's in the trashcan And pizza's on the way! ____________________________________________ A married couple were having a disagreement while sitting in bed. The wife said to her husband, "You're impossible," to which the husband replied, "No. I'm next to impossible." ____________________________________________ Two cab drivers met. "Hey," asked one, "Why did you paint one side of your cab red and the other side blue?" "Well," the other responded, "When I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other." ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today February 9 in 1861 The Provisional Congress of the Confederate States of America elected Jefferson Davis as its president. 1870 The United States Weather Bureau was authorized by Congress. The bureau is officially known as the National Weather Service (NWS). 1884 Thomas Edison and Patrick Kenny executed a patent application for a chemical recording stock quotation telegraph (U.S. Pat. 314,115). 1885 The first Japanese arrived in Hawaii. 1895 Volley Ball was invented by W.G. Morgan. 1900 Dwight F. Davis put up a new tennis trophy to go to the winner in matches against England. The trophy was a silver cup that weighed 36 pounds. 1942 The U.S. Joint Chiefs of Staff held its first formal meeting to coordinate military strategy during World War II. 1942 Daylight-saving "War Time" went into effect in the U.S. 1943 During World War II, the battle of Guadalcanal ended with an American victory over Japanese forces. 1950 U.S. Senator Joseph McCarthy charged that the State Department was riddled with Communists. This was the beginning of "McCarthyism." 1969 The Boeing 747 flew its inaugural flight. 1971 The Apollo 14 spacecraft returned to Earth after mankind's third landing on the moon. 1975 The Russian Soyuz 17 returned to Earth. 1989 Kohlberg Kravis Roberts and Co. completed the $25 billion purchase of RJR Nabisco, Inc. 1997 "The Simpsons" became the longest-running prime-time animated series. "The Flintstones" held the record previously. 2001 "Hannibal," the sequel to "Silence of the Lambs," opened in theaters. 2021 Do smiled. |
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