Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, January 20 Today's Bonehead Award: ______________________________________________________ Today, January 20 in 1981 Iran released 52 Americans that had been held hostage for 444 days. The hostages were flown to Algeria and then to a U.S. base in Wiesbaden, West Germany. The release occurred minutes after the U.S. presidency had passed from Jimmy Carter to Ronald Reagan. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Every person takes the limits of their own field of vision for the limits of the world. --- Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860) Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. --- Douglas Casey When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. --- Mark Twain ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Preparing for a family vacation, my sister-in-law and her husband explained to their young children that they would be sitting in the car for a very long time. The kids were told they would not be arriving at their destination until after dark, and were warned not to keep saying, "Are we there yet?" After a few minutes of peaceful driving, their five-year-old daughter perked up, "Is it dark yet?" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A big, beefy, leather-wearing, biker type fellow walks into a bar, slams his fist down, and demands in a loud voice, "Give me a bottle of beer, or else...!" Scared, the bartender serves the man his beer. This happens every day for a week straight, and the bartender turns into a nervous wreck. He asks his wife for advice, and she tells him he should stand up for himself. Easier said than done, he thinks, but he decides to try it. The next day, the biker returns. "Give me a bottle of beer, or else...!" "O-o-o-or else w-w-w-what?" stammers the bartender. "Or I'll take a draft if you're out of bottles." ______________________________________________________ Cape Stolbchaty, located in Russia's Kuril Islands. Ekaterina Vasyagina _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dickface Johnson, Jeffrey Forrest Poole, 37, Largo, Florida Most memorable Alias in Floriduh When police in Largo, Florida, arrested Jeffrey Forrest Poole on charges of violently resisting a police officer, the authorities made sure to list things like his age, weight and address in his arrest report. Officers also included an alias that Poole has allegedly used in the past ? and it's pretty awesome, as well as NSFW. But more on that later. Police were called to the 37-year-old suspect's home on a reported domestic disturbance early Sunday morning. When the officer arrived, according to the criminal complaint, Poole exited his home and said, I will beat every cop's ass! Then Poole raised his right fist and began to extend it towards my face in an attempt to strike me, the arresting officer wrote, according to The Smoking Gun. Since Poole was arrested and taken to the Pinellas County Jail, it is highly unlikely he made good on his ass-kicking promise. Poole was charged with assaulting a police officer and violently resisting a police officer. He remains behind bars in lieu of $5,150 bail. What makes this case interesting beyond Pinellas County is one tiny detail: The criminal alias Poole has previously used, one Dickface Johnson. That name showed up because Poole was either asked if he had any alias or a record on file under that name, according to Brobible.com. From: Cleta Re: Spell Check Dear DearWebby, I am 71 year's old and I would like very much to install Spell Correct on my Face Book Timeline page What do you think is the best one? I look on the Internet and it had 4 different one's but I have always trusted your thoughts. The four Are 1- Google Chrome 2-Mozilla Firefox 3- Safari --Internet Explorer Thanks a lot. Cleta Dear Cleta Decades ago, long before FaceBook, I installed "As You Type". It still seems to work in everything, mail, spreadsheets, word processing, etc., including FaceBook. I realize that now it is not free, but it has never bugged me about renewing. Seems to be a lifetime thing. So I have not checked what is new in that field. The browser based spell checkers are each just good for that particular browser. If you use Chrome, get that one. If you use FireFox, get that one. If you use many different browsers, get the add-in for each of them. The browser based spell checkers won't help you in other applications like email or spreadsheets or word processors, but will work nicely in that particular browser. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. John was drunk when he got to Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas." When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas." After a couple of beers, the drunk asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." John headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident. Scared to death, the drunk man started shouting, "Don't flush, PLEASE, don't flush!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
The dentist was striving to extract a tooth, but every time he got ready to proceed, the patient clamped his jaws. At last, he took his assistant aside and told her at the very moment he poised the forceps, to give the patient's balls a vicious pinch. The pinch was administered, the nervous patient's mouth flew open, and the tooth was easily removed. "Didn't hurt, did it?" asked the dentist. "Not too much," replied the patient, "but who would have thought the root went that deep?" https://www.facebook.com/TRNDVideos/videos/1527162234054130/ ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Surge Protector or Just a Power Strip It's a good idea to plug your computer into a power strip that has a surge protector in it. Not all power strips have this feature. If your power strip doesn't state that it has a surge protector it probably does not and you should upgrade to help protect your expensive electronics. Thriftyfun.com If you believe in election promises and advertising, that is good advice. Just because a power bar claims to have a surge protector, that does not mean it has an effective surge protector. A light-weight no-name brand power bar for $2.95 - $19.95 just has a token suppressor chip that may suicide from the surge caused by turning a big monitor on. It will just be a handy power bar from then on, without telling you that it no longer even detects surges. In the class between $19.95 and $49.95 they indicate with a flickering light that they are just a dumb power bar now. In the heavier, above $50 class there are heavy coils and capacitors, and often even a battery that will smooth over short outages and flickers. Without getting into technical details, usually the heavier a power bar is, the more likely it has effective surge protection. ____________________________________________________ | | 13 things Messy Nessy found on the internet today. |
___________________________________________________ Thanks to Millie for this story: While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40 years ago!! Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was too old to have been MY classmate. After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school. "Yes!" he replied. "When did you graduate?" I asked. He answered, "In 1944." "Why, you were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely, and then asked, "What did you teach?" He died on the way to the hospital. ___________________________________________________ After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into an old blouse and sweats and proceeded to wash her hair and give herself a facial. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she wrapped a towel around her head and, with cold creme on her face, stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say, with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT monfter?" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Thanks to Sandie for this story: I walked into my sister's kitchen and found my nephew, Mitch, having a snack. "Where's your mother?" I asked. "She said she was going to take a shower. Just a second and I'll see." Mitch went to the kitchen tap and turned the hot water on full blast. An indignant yell came from above. Mitch calmly turned off the tap and said, "Yep, she's in the shower." ___________________________________________________ | Today January 20 in 1265 The first English parliament met in Westminster Hall. 1839 Chile defeated a confederation of Peru and Bolivia in the Battle of Yungay. 1841 The island of Hong Kong was ceded to Great Britain. It returned to Chinese control in July 1997. 1885 The roller coaster was patented by L.A. Thompson. 1886 The Mersey Railway Tunnel was officially opened by the Prince of Wales. 1887 The U.S. Senate approved an agreement to lease Pearl Harbor in Hawaii as a naval base. 1892 The first official basketball game was played by students at the Springfield, MA, YMCA Training School. 1929 The movie "In Old Arizona" was released. The film was the first full-length talking film to be filmed outdoors. 1942 Nazi officials held the Wannsee conference, during which they arrived at their "final solution" that called for exterminating Europe's Jews. 1944 The British RAF dropped 2,300 tons of bombs on Berlin. 1952 In Juarez, Mexico, Patricia McCormick debuted as the first professional woman bullfighter from the United States. 1953 "Studio One" became the first television show to be transmitted from the United States to Canada. 1954 The National Negro Network was formed on this date. Forty radio stations were charter members of the network. 1972 The number of unemployed in Britain exceeded 1 million. 1981 Iran released 52 Americans that had been held hostage for 444 days. The hostages were flown to Algeria and then to a U.S. base in Wiesbaden, West Germany. The release occurred minutes after the U.S. presidency had passed from Jimmy Carter to Ronald Reagan. 1985 The most-watched Super Bowl game in history was seen by an estimated 115.9 million people. The San Francisco 49ers defeated the Miami Dolphins, 38-16. Super Bowl XIX marked the first time that TV commercials sold for a million dollars a minute. 1986 Britain and France announced their plans to build the Channel Tunnel. 1986 New footage of the 1931 "Frankenstein" was found. The footage was originally deleted because it was considered to be too shocking. 1987 Anglican Church envoy Terry Waite was kidnapped in Beirut, Lebanon. He was there attempting to negotiate the release of Western hostages. He was not freed until November 1991. 1994 Shannon Faulkner became the first woman to attend classes at The Citadel in South Carolina. Faulkner joined the cadet corps in August 1995 under court order but soon dropped out. 1996 Yasser Arafat was elected president of the Palestinian Authority and his supporters won two thirds of the 80 seats in the Legislative Council. 1998 American researchers announced that they had cloned calves that may produce medicinal milk. 1998 In Chile, a judge agreed to hear a lawsuit that accused Chile's former dictator Augusto Pinochet with genocide. 1999 The China News Service announced that the Chinese government was tightening restrictions on internet use. The rules were aimed at 'Internet Bars.' 2000 Greece and Turkey signed five accords aimed to build confidence between the two nations. 2019 Do smiled. |
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