Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, August 30 ___________________________________________________ Bonehead award AZ Woman used bolt cutters to break into \ gym lockers, steal credit cards ___________________________________________________ Q Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. --- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914) ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ History: 1991, The Soviet republic of Azerbaijan declared its independence. ___________________________________________________ Used to being the center of attention, Robbie was a little more than jealous of his new baby sister. The parents sat him down and said that now that she was getting older, the house was too small and they'd have to move. "It's no use." Robbie said, "She's crawling good now and she'd probably just follow us." __________________________________________________ Thanks to Ana for sending this picture: Ana Wood owl __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Two confirmed bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said one, "but I could never do anything with it." "Too much fancy work in it, eh?" asked the other. "You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 'Take a clean dish'". _____________________________________________ Two confirmed bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said one, "but I could never do anything with it." "Too much fancy work in it, eh?" asked the other. "You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 'Take a clean dish'". --------------- I am a bachelor. Though I have reverted to "UNtamed bachelor", I am not confirmed. Just temporarily, I hope. I firmly believe a woman could tame me again, as long as she does not require a Millionaire. ____________________________________________________ Sunwapta, Jasper, AB _____________________________________________________ A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth. "Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out." The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer. "Here," he said, "is the check for $900. It's postdated six years from now." ___________________________________________________ >From Sarah One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's office. When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a woman, curlers in her hair, wearing pajamas. "Why are you dressed like that?" I asked her. "I told my son," she explained, "that if he ever did anything to embarrass me, I would embarrass him back. He was caught cutting school. So now I've come to spend the day with him!" ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies. So, this was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime. Instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said: "Guess who?" The controller switched the field lights off and replied: "Guess where!" ___________________________________________________ Bambi sidled up to a guest at the party. She had heard him addressed as doctor and now she said diffidently, "doctor, may I ask a question?" "Certainly," he said. "Lately," said Bambi, "I have been having a funny pain right here above the heart..." The guest interrupted uncomfortably and said, "I'm terribly sorry, Bambi, but the truth is, I'm a doctor of philosophy." "Oh," said Bambi, "I'm sorry!" She turned away, but then overcome with curiosity, she turned back. "Just one more question, doctor. Tell me, what kind of disease is philosophy?" _______________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Frank RE: Spell Checker in W10 Dear Webby Subject: I got a windos 10 from my son about a mounth ago an pulling my hair out ever since. First off, where do I find spell checker if its even on w10 2 what is Smartfix and is it safe for W ds 10. Thank you for all you help. Frank Dear Frank Configuring Spell Check in Windows 10: In the Start menu, open Settings > Devices. Select Typing. In the Typing view, set Autocorrect misspelled words ON (if you find it useful). In the Typing view, set Highlight misspelled words ON. Close the Settings dialog. Smartfix I have not used it, but reviews seem to be positive. However, unless you really need it to fix a particular, recognized, and obnoxious problem, you are probably better off to avoid it. It has some powerful options, that, if used not quite correctly, could cause a lot of problems. What are you trying to fix? Have FUN! DearWebby ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! _______________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Natasha Streeter, 35, Scottsdale, Arizona, USA AZ Woman used bolt cutters to break into \ gym lockers, steal credit cards A woman accused of breaking into lockers at multiple Valley gyms and stealing credit cards has been arrested. Scottsdale Police say 35-year-old Natasha Streeter used bolt cutters to cut off padlocks from women's lockers during at least four separate incidents. "She would then use the credit cards from these burglaries to buy large amounts of gift cards and convert them into cash funds," the department said. treeter was arrested on Aug. 24. She was booked into jail and is accused of multiple burglary and theft charges. She is being held on a $100,000 cash bond. Streeter is also accused of committing similar burglaries at gyms in multiple other states. According to court documents, she is being extradited to Utah for a felony warrant. __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work, please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! __________________________________________________ History Today August 30, in 1146, European leaders outlawed the crossbow. So the Swiss put the cross bow onto their coat of arms. 1645, American Indians and the Dutch made a peace treaty at New Amsterdam. New Amsterdam later was taken by the Brutish and became known as New York. 1682, William Penn sailed from England and later established the colony of Pennsylvania in America. 1780, General Benedict Arnold secretly promised to surrender the West Point fort to the British army. 1809, Charles Doolittle Walcott first discovered fossils near Burgess Pass. He named the site Burgess Shale after nearby Mt. Burgess. 1862, The Confederates defeated Union forces at the second Battle of Bull Run in Manassas, VA. 1928, The Independence of India League was established in India. 1941, During World War II, the Nazis severed the last railroad link between Leningrad and the rest of the Soviet Union. 1945, General Douglas MacArthur set up Allied occupation headquarters in Japan. 1951, The Philippines and the United States signed a defense pact. 1956, In Louisianna, the Lake Pontchartrain Causeway opened. 1960, A partial blockade was imposed on West Berlin by East Germany. 1963, The "Hotline" between Moscow and Washington, DC, went into operation. 1965, Thurgood Marshall was confirmed by the U.S. Senate as a Supreme Court justice. Marshall was the first black justice to sit on the Supreme Court. 1982, P.L.O. leader Yasir Arafat left Beirut for Greece. 1983, The space shuttle Challenger blasted off with Guion S. Bluford Jr. aboard. He was the first black American to travel in space. 1984, The space shuttle Discovery lifted off for the first time. On the voyage three communications satellites were deployed. 1984, U.S. President Ronald Reagan, and several others, were inducted into the Sportscasters Hall of Fame. 1991, The Soviet republic of Azerbaijan declared its independence. 1994, Rosa Parks was robbed and beaten by Joseph Skipper. Parks was known for her refusal to give up her seat on a bus in 1955, which sparked the civil rights movement. 1994, The largest U.S. defense contractor was created when the Lockheed and Martin Marietta corporations agreed to a merger. 1996, An expedition to raise part of the Titanic failed when the nylon lines being used to raise part of the hull snapped. 1999, The residents of East Timor overwhelmingly voted for independence from Indonesia. The U.N. announced the result on September 4. 2002, Conoco Inc. and Phillips Petroleum merged to create ConocoPhillips. The new company was the third largest integrated energy company and the second largest refining company in the U.S. 2023, Do smiled.
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