Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, March 26 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Bond Denied For Felon Who Attacked Boy ___________________________________________________ Today, March 26 in 1989 The first free elections took place in the Soviet Union. Boris Yeltsin was elected. ____________________________________________________ Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) ____________________________________________________ Two rich men were talking over coffee and croissants at their country club one day and one of them said to the other one, "Hey, I tell you my driver is really stupid... you don't think so? Let me show you." And he called his driver Tammy over and said, "Tammy, here is a 10 dollar bill, go to the car showroom and buy me a Mercedes." To which Tammy replied, "Yes Sir! Right away!" and rushed outside. The rich man turned to his friend and said, "See, I told you she was stupid." The other rich man said, "That's nothing, you want to see stupid, I will show you stupid." And he called his driver, Terri: "Terri, go home now and check to see if I'm at home." Terri said, "Yes Sir!! Right away, Sir" and ran outside. "See what I told you? She doesn't even have enough brains to know that I cannot be at home if I am here." 5 minutes later the two drivers met at the donut shop. Tammy said to Terri, "Eh, you know my boss is sooo stupid. He gave me 10 dollars and asked me to go to the car showroom and buy him a Mercedes.....Doesn't he know that today is Sunday?? The showroom is closed!" Terri replied, "You think he is stupid, huh? My boss is sooo much worse, he asked me to go home to check if he is at home....I got a cellphone, right, why should I drive all the way across town if I can call home to check after I have a few donuts !!!!" ____________________________________________________ The local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of the town tavern. "Paddy," he said, " I'm afraid I'll not be seeing you in Heaven one day." "Really, Father?" slurred Paddy. "What have you done now?" ____________________________________________________ Not babysitting today ___________________________________________________ Two little girls in were sitting in the lunchroom of the Beverly Hills Elementary School. "Guess what?" one said. "Mommy's getting married again and I'll have a new Daddy." "Really?" said the other girl. "Who is she marrying this time?" "Winston James, some sort of Director." The second girl smiled. "Oh, you'll like him. He was my Daddy last spring." __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Cedric Moore, 28, Scott County jail, Missouri, USA Bond Denied For Felon Who Attacked Boy Video shows Missouri man's unprovoked sucker-punching A judge has denied a bond reduction for a convicted felon who last year was recorded brutally sucker-punching a 12-year-old boy dancing on a Missouri street corner, according to court records. In a motion filed this month, Cedric Moore, 28, asked a Circuit Court judge to modify his $50,000 cash bond to a surety bond, which could be posted by a bail bondsman. In the motion, attorney Theodore E. Liszewski reported that Moore has also been accepted into the teen challenge program, a reference to a nationwide residential care program for male defendants, probationers, and parolees that includes individual and group biblical studies and work projects. However, Moores bid to depart the Scott County jail was denied by Judge Benjamin Lewis. A bond reduction motion filed last year by Moore was also rejected. As seen in the above video, which was broadcast on Facebook Live, Moore snuck up on Ethan Hagler as the boy, accompanied by his hip-hop dance instructor, performed in downtown Cape Girardeau on a Friday evening. After felling the child with a roundhouse punch to the head, the 205-pound Moore (seen in the above mug shot) fled in an SUV driven by an another individual. Bleeding from the head and nose, Hagler was treated for his injuries at a local hospital. Moore was arrested a week after the unprovoked July 3 attack and has been behind bars since. He has been charged with assault and endangering the welfare of a child, both felonies to which Moore has pleaded not guilty. In 2019, Moore was convicted of domestic assault and sentenced to five years probation and ordered to "obey all laws" and complete an anger management program and a Batterer's Program. In light of his arrest for walloping Hagler, prosecutors have filed a probation violation charge against Moore, who could be ordered to serve prison time for the 2019 conviction. A probation violation hearing is scheduled for April 12. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Rosa Re: ail pretending to be from me Dear Webby I get a lot of junkmail, that is pretending to be from me. I do send memos and links to myself, often half a dozen times a day. One problem is that I can't use an IP number, since I am at various different locationss. Rosa Dear Rosa That is actually a very common problem. With MailWasher easy to solve. http://webby.com/mailwasher In it, make a filter to dump all mail that is coming from your address, unless the subject contains ~~, and start puting that~~ into the subject vof all memos to yourself. From then on, it will sendmail pretending to be from you, but that does not have ~~, or whatever your secret code is, in the subject line, straight to hell, and won't even list it. It is easy to get used to using "the code" in the subject. You can even use, for example, "rrr", anything you never see in the subject line of spam. Have FUN! DearWebby I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, not at all ! When I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance. she came around the counter, and bumped into me. I think I will ask her to check my balance every chance I get ! | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Grandma and Grandpa were sitting in their porch rockers watching the beautiful sunset and reminiscing about "the good days," when Grandma turned to Grandpa and said, "Honey, do you remember how, after we were first married, you'd kind of nibble on my ear?" Grandpa slowly got up from his rocker and headed into the house. Alarmed, Grandma said, "Honey, where are you going?" Grandpa replied, "Do ged my deef!" (To get my teeth) ____________________________________________ An Irishman went to London for a visit to the circus. While there, he saw a man with an elephant act. The man claimed the elephant could look at a person and tell that person's age. The Irishman was very skeptical and said so, in no uncertain terms. The man had the elephant look at a small boy and the elephant stamped its foot 9 times. "Is that right?" he asked the boy. "Yes, I'm nine!" the boy said. The Irishman continued his loud heckling, still not believing that this was true. The man asked the elephant to tell the ages of several other people, and each time the elephant stamped his foot and the people said he was correct. The Irishman got even louder and more abusive toward the man. Finally the man could take it no longer and wagered the Irishman that the elephant could look at him and tell him his age. The Irishman took him up on the wager. The elephant looked real close at the Irishman, turned around, raised his tail and cut wind like you wouldn't believe. Then he turned back around, knocked the Irishman to the ground with his trunk and then stomped on him twice. The Irishman, crumpled and bleeding, staggered back to his feet and with a sound of disbelief in his voice cried, "Lard, Thunder and Murphy, he's right!...Farty-two!" ____________________________________________ Jock and Angus, two craggy Scots, were sitting before the clubhouse fireplace after 18 holes on a raw, blustery winter dAre you planning on something permaent, or justsuatting ay. The ice slowly melted from their beards and collected in puddles under their chairs. Outside, the wind howled off the North Sea and snow and hail rattled against the windows. The pair sat in silence over their whiskies. Finally, Jock spoke, "Next Monday, same time?" "Aye," Angus replied, "weather permittin'." ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ Today, March 26 in 1026 Conrad II was crowned Holy Roman Emperor by Pope John XIX. 1799 Napoleon captured Jaffa Palestine. 1793 The Holy Roman Emperor formally declared war on France. 1804 The U.S. Congress ordered the removal of Indians east of the Mississippi to Louisiana. 1804 The Louisiana Purchase was divided into the District of Louisiana and the Territory of Orleans. 1854 Charles III, duke of Parma, was attacked by an assassin. He died the next day. 1871 The Paris Commune was formally set up. 1885 Eastman Kodak (Eastman Dry Plate and Film Co.) produced the first commercial motion picture film in Rochester, NY. 1898 In South Africa, the world's first game reserve, the Sabi Game reserve, was designated. 1909 Russian troops invaded Persia to support Muhammad Ali as shah in place of the constitutional government. 1910 The U.S. Congress passed an amendment to the 1907 Immigration Act that barred criminals, paupers, anarchists and carriers of disease from settling in the U.S. 1913 During the Balkan War, the Bulgarians took Adrianople. 1917 At the start of the battle of Gaza, the British cavalry withdrew when 17,000 Turks blocked their advance. 1937 Spinach growers in Crystal City, TX, erected a statue of Popeye. 1938 Herman Goering warned all Jews to leave Austria. 1942 The Germans began sending Jews to Auschwitz in Poland. 1945 The battle of Iwo Jima ended. 1945 In the Aleutians, the battle of Komandorski began when the Japanese attempted to reinforce a garrison at Kiska and were intercepted by a U.S. naval force. 1953 Dr. Jonas Salk announced a new vaccine that would prevent poliomyelitis. 1958 The U.S. Army launched America's third successful satellite, Explorer III. 1962 The U.S. Supreme Court supported the 1-man-1-vote apportionment of seats in the State Legislature. 1971 Sheikh Mujibur Rahman declared East Pakistan to be the independent republic of Bangladesh. 1973 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat took over the premiership and said "the stage of total confrontation (with Israel) has become inevitable." 1979 The Camp David treaty was signed by Israel and Egypt that ended the 31-year state of war between the countries. 1989 The first free elections took place in the Soviet Union. Boris Yeltsin was elected. 1991 The presidents of Argentina, Paraguay, Brazil and Uruguay signed an agreement that established the Southern Cone Common Market, a free-trade zone, by January 1, 1995. 1992 In Indianapolis, heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson was found guilty of rape. He was sentenced to 6 years in prison. He only served three. 1995 Seven of the 15 European Union states abolished border controls. 1996 The International Monetary Fund approved a $10.2 billion loan for Russia to help the country transform its economy. 1997 The 39 bodies of Heaven's Gate members are found in a mansion in Rancho Santa Fe, CA. The group had committed suicide thinking that they would be picked up by a spaceship following behind the comet Hale-Bopp. 1998 Unisys Corp. and Lockheed Martin Corp. pay a $3.15 million fine for selling spare parts at inflated prices to the U.S. federal government. 1999 In Michigan, Dr. Jack Kevorkian was convicted of second- degree murder for giving a terminally ill man a lethal injection and putting it all on videotape on September 17, 1998 for "60 Minutes." 2000 The Seattle Kingdome was imploded to make room for a new football arena. I watched that event live on the Internet. 2000 In Russia, acting President Vladimir Putin was elected president outright. He won a sufficient number of votes to avoid a runoff election. 2021 Do smiled.
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