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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, December 4, in 1812, Peter Gaillard patented the power mower. ____________________________________________________ Bonehed Award: Man indicted in road-rage shooting that left 8-year-old girl dead _____________________________________________________ Q Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) ____________________________________________________ >From Donna My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds that she had put on recently. "Good," I exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too! We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I get the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first." "Great," she replied. "I'll ride with you." __________________________________________________ On a country road, a speeder hit and killed a dog. The dog's owner stood nearby, a gun in his hand. The speeder said, "Looks as if I killed your dog." "Sure does." "I'm sorry. Was it a valuable dog?" "I wouldn't say that." "Well, suppose I gave you a hundred dollars. Would that be enough?" "Well, I don't know." "Two hundred dollars. That should do it." "Sounds good." The speeder reached into his pocket and came up with the money. Pressing it into the man's hand, he said, "I'm sorry I spoiled your plans to go hunting." "I wasn't going hunting. I was heading out to the woods to put that mangy mutt out of his misery." __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock: An International Bonehead Award has been earned by Sidney Garrand, 48, Phoenix, Arizona, USA Man indicted in road-rage shooting that left 8-year-old girl dead A man has been indicted after police say a stabbing that led to a road-rage shooting in north Phoenix left a young girl dead. According to Phoenix Police, the shooting happened at 16th Street and Greenway Parkway on Oct. 27. Sgt. Brian Bower says the incident started when two men from separate vehicles got into an altercation, got out of their cars, and began fighting in the intersection. "One of the adult males believed that something was going on further, so he grabbed a knife and stabbed the other adult male," said Sgt. Bower. The 28-year-old man with the knife ran to his black sedan, according to police, with a woman and an 8-year- old girl inside. "While hes driving away from the scene, the adult male who was stabbed multiple times brandishes a handgun, and fires at that vehicle as it's fleeing the area," said Sgt. Bowers. A clear bullet hole can be seen in the back of the sedan. Sgt. Bower said the young girl was in the rear seat when she was shot. The girl was taken to a hospital in critical condition. Police said on Nov. 1 that she died from her injuries and that the man who pulled the trigger, 48-year-old Sidney Garrand, was arrested and booked into jail after he was released from the hospital. Shooting at a fleeing person usually leads to lifetime jail. Even cops are not allowed to do that. ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ When I was a mother's helper, the mom of the family I worked for sat with her three oldest children and watched a PBS special showing the birth of a baby. The mom thought it would be a good starting point for answering questions about the facts of life. As her five-year-old studied the baby coming out of the birth canal, he asked, "Mom, does that hurt?" "Oh, yes, it does," she said, remembering her difficult deliveries. "Gee," he continued in awe, "does it hurt the mother too?" ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Long distance bomber coming in for a landing _________________________________________________ A doting father used to sing his little children to sleep until he overheard the four-year-old tell the three-year- old, "If you pretend you're asleep, he stops." _______________________________________________ Dentist to Patient: "Would you help me out? I'd like you to give a few of your loudest screams?" Patient: "Why, Doc? I didn't feel a thing!" Dentist: "I know, but there are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the five o'clock hockey game." __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Andy was reading the paper while his son was doing homework on the opposite side of the table. "Dad", his son asked, "how many people work in the Government?" Without looking up, Andy responded: "Oh, about a quarter of them." ________________________________________________________ A group of friends who prided themselves on their intelligence set out to have a contest of wits. Each person in turn asked a question, and anyone who volunteered an answer that was wrong dropped out. If no one could answer,the questioner himself had to answer, and if he was wrong,he dropped out. Each dropout had to put $5 into the pot. Eventually the matter boiled down to Thompson and Brown, and the erudition of each one boiled up so that both were held even for half an hour. Finally Thompson said, "How does a gopher dig a hole without leaving a mound of sand at the lip?" Brown thought about that and said, "I can't answer that. However, since it's your question, you had better answer it." Thompson said coolly, as he reached for the accumulated pile of bills. "Easy. The gopher starts at the bottom of the hole and that's where he leaves the sand." "Hold on," said Brown heatedly, grasping Thompson's wrist to prevent him from taking the pot. "How does the gopher get to the bottom of the hole in the first place?" "That's YOUR question," said Thompson as he took the money. ________________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Muthuraman Ramamrutham Re: Snipping tool Dear Webby You can also use the snipping tool available in Windows. It's free and you can select which part of the screen you want to snip. I think it's called snip and sketch in win10 Dear Muthuraman Yes! And it works! Considering that it works like a Windows 3.0 program, it might have been hiding in front of our noses for a very long time. Hit te START in the left bottom corner Type SNIP That starts it. Just follow the instructions. Because it works in Windows 3.0 style, it may take a bit of experimenting the first few times. However, it DOES work, and is quite slick to snip a picture from a video. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Worried about becoming efficient UK - Ananova Black tape is being stuck on civil servants' desks to show them where to put their keyboard and pens - at a cost of 7million. Union officials slammed the efficiency drive as "madness" and added: "It's demoralising and demeaning." Workers at the National Insurance offices in Longbenton, North Tyneside, were picked for the pilot project. The Public and Commercial Services Union's Kevin McHugh said: "This office has been open for 60 years and people have managed to find their pens and staplers without consultants helping them in that time. The black-tape project is part of the nationwide Lean programme, run by consultants Unipart, which has already required staff to move their personal belongings off desks. The PCSU said: "We had a situation in Scotland where staff were asked, 'Is that banana on your desk active or inactive?' meaning were they going to eat it? If not, it had to be cleared away. It's madness." But a HM Revenue and Customs spokesman said: "Lean is all about how we can work more efficiently to deliver an even better service to customers." ----------------------------------------- It's not a matter of eventually finding a stapler, but of finding it in a reasonable time. And correct keyboard placement makes the difference between carpal tunnel syndrome or not. It seems to me the PCSU is just worried that, if efficiency breaks out in British government offices, half of their members would be out of work. _____________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________ Today, December 4 in 1783, Gen. George Washington said farewell to his officers at Fraunces Tavern in New York. 1812, Peter Gaillard patented the power mower. 1867, The National Grange of Husbandry was founded. 1875, William Marcy Tweed, the "Boss" of New York City's Tammany Hall political organization, escaped from jail and fled from the U.S. 1918, U.S. President Woodrow Wilson set sail for France to attend the Versailles Peace Conference. Wilson became the first chief executive to travel to Europe while in office. 1942, U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered the dismantling of the Works Progress Administration. The program had been created in order to provide jobs during the Great Depression. 1942, U.S. bombers attacked the Italian mainland for the first time during World War II. 1943, Baseball Commissioner Kenesaw Mountain Landis announced that any club was free to employ black players. 1945, The U.S. Senate approved American participation in the United Nations. 1965, The U.S. launched Gemini 7 with Air Force Lt. Col. Frank Borman and Navy Comdr. James A. Lovell on board. 1973, Pioneer 10 reached Jupiter. 1977, Jean-Bedel Bokassa, ruler of the Central African Empire, crowned himself emperor in a ceremony believed to have cost more than $100 million. He was deposed 2 years later. 1978, Dianne Feinstein became San Francisco's first woman mayor when she was named to replace George Moscone, who had been murdered. 1979, For the second time, the United Nations Security Council voted unanimously to urge Iran to free American hostages that had been taken on November 4. 1980, The bodies of four American nuns slain in El Salvador two days earlier were unearthed. Five national guardsmen were later convicted of the murders. 1983, U.S. jet fighters struck Syrian anti-aircraft positions in Lebanon in retaliation for attacks directed at American reconnaissance planes. Navy Lt. Robert O. Goodman Jr. was shot down and captured by Syria. 1984, A five-day hijack drama began as four men seized a Kuwaiti airliner en route to Pakistan and forced it to land in Tehran. Two American passengers were killed by the hijackers. 1986, Both U.S. houses of Congress moved to establish special committees to conduct their own investigations of the Iran-Contra affair. 1987, Cuban inmates at a federal prison in Atlanta freed their 89 hostages, peacefully ending an 11-day uprising. 1988, The government of Argentina announced that hundreds of heavily armed soldiers had ended a four-day military revolt. 1990, Iraq promised to release 3,300 Soviet citizens it was holding. 1991, Associated Press correspondent Terry Anderson was released after nearly seven years in captivity in Lebanon. 1991, Pan American World Airways ceased operations. 1992, U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered American troops to lead a mercy mission to Somalia. 1993, The Angolan government and its UNITA guerrilla foes formally adopted terms for a truce. The conflict was killing an estimated 1,000 people per day. 1994, Bosnian Serbs released 53 out of about 400 UN peacekeepers they were holding as insurance against further NATO airstrikes. 1997, The National Basketball Association (NBA) suspended Latrell Sprewell of the Golden State Warriors for one year for choking and threatening to kill his coach, P.J. Carlesimo. 2000, O.J. Simpson was involved in an incident with another motorist in Miami, FL. Simpson was accused of scratching the other motorists face while pulling off the man's glasses. 2001, O.J. Simpson's home in Florida was raided by the FBI in an ongoing two year international investigation into drug trafficking, satellite service pilfering and money laundering. Some satellite equipment was taken from Simpson's home and no drugs were found. 2022 Do smiled.
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