Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, August 9 ____________________________________________________ History: today, August 9 in 1930, Betty Boop had her beginning in "Dizzy Dishes" created by Max Fleischer. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead award English fired police officer has admitted to penetrative sexual activity with a 13-year-old girl. ___________________________________________________ Q Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps. --- Emo Phillips When a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasn't the slightest intention of putting it into practice. --- Otto von Bismarck (1815 - 1898) ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ A truck driver who had been delivering radioactive waste for the local reactor begins to feel sick after a few years on the job. He decided to seek compensation for his ailment. Upon his arrival at the workers' compensation department, he is interviewed by an assessor. Assessor: I see you work with radio-active materials and wish to claim compensation. Trucker: Yeah, I feel really sick. Assessor: Alright then, Does your employer take measures to protect you from radiation poisoning? Trucker: Yeah, he gives me a lead suit to wear on the job. Assessor: And what about the cabin in which you drive? Trucker: Oh yeah. That's lead lined, all lead lined. Assessor: What about the waste itself? Where is that kept? Trucker: Oh, the stuff is held in a lead container, all lead. Assessor: Let me see if I get this straight. You wear a lead suit, sit in a lead-lined cabin and the radio-active waste is kept in a lead container. Trucker: Yeah, that's right. All lead. Assessor: Then I can't see how you could claim against him for radiation poisoning. Trucker: I'm not. I claiming for lead poisoning. ___________________________________________________ Bill said the power went out recently. His wife, Kathy heard a plane flying low overhead. She noticed the plane's landing lights were on and said, "Must not be a widespread power outage -- the plane's lights are on." She was lucky she was not downtown. I heard that during the latest power failure in Los Angeles thousands of people were trapped for hours on store escalators. ___________________________________________________ B.J.Gruenbaum __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ The visiting church school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class who broke down the walls of Jericho. Little Johnny replies that he does not know, but it definitely is not him. The supervisor, taken aback by this lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident. The principal replies that he knows little Johnny as well as his whole family very well and can vouch for them, if little Johnny said that he did not do it, he as principal is satisfied that it is the truth. Even more appalled the inspector goes to the regional Head of Education and relates the whole story. After listening he replies: "I cannot see why you are making such a big issue out of this; just get three quotations and we'll choose a contractor to fix the silly wall." ____________________________________________________ >From Carol A 3-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. "How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom." ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ There once was a conservative college in the east coast that had a standing rule, the heat was to be turned off in the dormitories when the school went on summer daylight savings time. Unfortunately, this year, winter decided to stick around a bit longer. Students in both the men's and women's dormitories complained about the bitter cold, but were told that nothing could be done. After days of no heat and no respite in immediate sight, the ladies realized that their dorm faced the equally cold men's dorm. They turned a bed sheet into a banner with the message, "TURN ON THE HEAT OR WE'LL TURN ON THE BOYS!" The thermostat was turned up rather hastily. __________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits from: Janet re: Slow W10 Dear Webby My W10 is getting slower than I can toerate. Yeah, I know, you told me two hundred times, or more, to resist the brainwash and to just clean up my act. Well, I am on W10, and it is now slower than my W7 ever was. Now what? Janet Dear Janet Bloatware and trialware refer to PC manufacturers' habit of loading crippled versions of commercial software on a new computer in the hope that some will upgrade to paid editions, and earn them a commission. Most of that is totally useless crap. Quite possibly you also have some programs that you or your spouse or kids wanted to try and see if they were any good, and have promptly forgotten about. Download SHOULD I REMOVE IT. https://en.softonic.com/download/should-i-remove- it/windows/post-download It is free. it will list all the stuff you got, and tell you if you really need it. Some stuff you can remove right there, other stuff you have to open your REVO Uninstaller. Between those two programs you can clean up your machine like it should have been when you bought it. It still won't be as fast as W7, but a lot faster than it is now. One word of caution: EDGE If you are using the Microsoft EDGE browser, which is usually slithered in with W10, you CAN remove it. However, before removing it, install Chrome or FireFox. Otherwise you will be out in nthe cold, without ANY browser. Have FUN! DearWebby ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! _____________________________________________ >From Rock A few years back I was hanging out with a great old pal of mine. He was with his wife and 3 kids staying at his dads old place at a lake vacationing. There really wasnt much there, his 8 ,,10 and 13 yr old kids were all bored, His wife told the kids , "Well, gee why dont you play solitaire?" All 3 chimed back in unison, "But Mom, we have no computers here." ________________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Fired police officer has admitted to penetrative sexual activity with a 13-year-old girl. Luke Christopher Horner, Thames Valley Polic, 24, Amersham, Buckinghamshire, England former police officer has admitted to penetrative sexual activity with a 13-year-old girl. Former Pc Luke Christopher Horner, of Thames Valley Police (TVP), travelled to Rushden, Northamptonshire, while off duty to commit the offence on June 11 this year. In a hearing at Northampton Crown Court on Thursday, the 24- year-old, who was based in Amersham, Buckinghamshire, pleaded guilty to a charge of sexual activity with a child. Horner resigned as an officer on July 26, TVP confirmed following his plea. A second count, of making an indecent image of a child, was removed from the indictment, with prosecutor Ben Gow claiming this offence formed part of the sexual activity. He also said the defendant recorded the act on his victims phone. He said: I understand that the pleas are entered on the basis he did record [the sexual activity] and the phone was in his hand. The phone was not his phone, it was belonging to the child in question. It can be seen in his hand in the video. We regard this as one of the culpability features of the offence in question. Northamptonshire Police said following Horners plea that he had travelled more than an hour from his home in Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire, to commit the offence. Wearing a light grey suit, white shirt and blue tie, Horner spoke only to confirm his identity and enter his plea over a video link from HMP Peterborough, in Cambridgeshire. Charges against Horner were brought by Northamptonshire Police, but TVP suspended him from duty and launched a separate misconduct investigation after referring the matter to the Independent Office for Police Conduct (IOPC). Judge Rebecca Crane remanded him into further custody until sentencing at the same court on September 8. ___________________________________________________ Smith emailed his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he wrote, "my mother-in-law is doing some heavy house- cleaning tomorrow, and my wife wants me to go help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith," the boss replied. "I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," Smith wrote back, "I knew I could count on you!" __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work, please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! __________________________________________________ History Today August 9, in 1790, The Columbia returned to Boston Harbor after a three- year voyage. It was the first ship to carry the American flag around the world. 1831, The first steam locomotive began its first trip between Schenectady and Albany, NY. 1842, The U.S. and Canada signed the Webster-Ashburton Treaty, which solved a few border disputes. 1848, Martin Van Buren was nominated for president by the Free-Soil Party in Buffalo, NY. 1854, "Walden" was published by Henry David Thoreau. 1859, The escalator was patented by Nathan Ames. 1892, Thomas Edison received a patent for a two-way telegraph. 1893, "Gut Holz" was published. It was America's first bowling magazine. 1910, A.J. Fisher received a patent for the electric washing machine. 1930, Betty Boop had her beginning in "Dizzy Dishes" created by Max Fleischer. 1936, Jesse Owens won his fourth gold medal at the Berlin Olympics. He was the first American to win four medals in one Olympics. 1942, Mohandas K. Gandhi was arrested by Britain. He was not released until 1944. 1942, CBS radio debuted "Our Secret Weapon." 1944, The Forest Service and Wartime Advertising Council created "Smokey the Bear." 1945, The U.S. dropped an atomic bomb on Nagasaki. The bombing came three days after the bombing of Hiroshima. About 74,000 people were killed. Japan surrendered August 14. 1945, The first network television broadcast occurred in Washington, DC. The program announced the bombing of Nagasaki, Japan. 1956, The first statewide, state-supported educational television network went on the air in Alabama. 1965, Singapore proclaimed its independence from the Malaysian Federation. 1973, The U.S. Senate committee investigating the Watergate affair filed suit against President Richard Nixon. 1974, U.S. PresidentRichard Nixon formally resigned. Gerald R. Ford took his place, and became the 38th president of the U.S. 1975, The New Orleans Superdome as officially opened when the Saints played the Houston Oilers in exhibition football. The new Superdome cost $163 million to build. 1985, Arthur J. Walker, a retired Navy officer, was found guilty of seven counts of spying for the Soviet Union. 1988, Wayne Gretzky (Edmonton Oilers) was traded. The trade was at Gretzky's request. He was sent to the Los Angeles Kings. 1996, Boris Yeltsin was sworn in as president of Russia for the second time. 1999, Russian President Boris Yeltsin fired Prime Minister Sergei Stepashin and his entire cabinet for the fourth time in 17 months. 2001, U.S. President George W. Bush announced he would support federal funding for limited medical research on embryonic stem cells. 2004, Donald Duck received the 2,257th star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. 2004, Trump Hotel and Casion Resorts announced plans to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Donald Trump had not been involved in the running of the casino, that had rented the name from a real-estate company. 2023, Do smiled.
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Go to TOP
Well, Do , that's all for today.
Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter
If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name,
or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.
If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't
have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.
To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to [email protected]
If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription.
If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html
You can also UNsubscribe there.
If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
[email protected]
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter | . |
