Good Morning, Do, Today is Friday, December 22 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! Today is the shortest day of the year. Now the days will get longer again. Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Dopey Veterinarian Shot Neighbor's Barking Dog Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, December 22 in 1775 A Continental naval fleet was organized in the rebellious American colonies under the command of Ezek Hopkins. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ There are people who, instead of listening to what is being said to them, are already listening to what they are going to say themselves. --- Albert Guinon (1863 - 1923) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. --- Miss Piggy ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ During a jury selection process, the first lawyer began his questioning as an intimidating showman. He looked over the prospective jurors and asked, "Do any of you here today dislike lawyers?" Before the pause became too long, the judge said, "I do." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A married couple, trying to live up to a snobbish life- style went to a party. The conversation turned to Mozart. "Absolutely brilliant, magnificent, a genius!" The woman, wanting to join in the conversation, remarked casually, "Ah, Mozart. You're so right. I love him. Only this morning I saw him getting on the number five bus going to Coney Island." There was a sudden hush, and everyone looked at her. Her husband was mortified. He pulled her away and whispered, "We're leaving right now. Get your coat and let's get our of here." As they drove home, he kept muttering to himself. Finally, his wife turned to him and said, "You're angry about something." "Oh really? You noticed?" he sneered. "I've never been so embarrassed in my life! You saw Mozart take the number five bus to Coney Island? How could you say that? Everyone knows the number five bus doesn't go to Coney Island !" ______________________________________________________ Canyon in Utah ____________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ A reporter from New York was visiting an old colleague who now edited a newspaper in a tiny Vermont town. "I don't see how you do it," the NY reporter said. "How can you drum up interest in the news when everybody in town knows what everybody else is doing?" "Sure they know," the editor said, "but they read the paper to see who got caught at it." _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kelly Folse, 35, Harahan, Louisiana Dopey Veterinarian Shot Neighbor's Barking Dog Louisiana veterinarian Kelly Folse's prescription for a barking dog next door was a bullet, police say. Folse, 35, was booked on aggravated cruelty to an animal Tuesday, the New Orleans Times-Picayune reports. She also faces charges of drug possession and illegal discharge of a firearm. Police say Folse shot Bruizer, her next-door neighbor's 15-month-old American bulldog, in the head when her neighbor was out on the afternoon of Dec. 13. The family took the wounded animal to the Abadie Veterinary Hospital in Harahan, where Folse works, but it died from its injuries the next day. Folse was not involved in caring for the dog, authorities say. The hospital fired Folse on Tuesday. Police say the neighbor, suspecting Folse had shot her dog, showed them hostile messages from the vet complaining about constant barking. Narcotics were found in the vet's home after police obtained a search warrant. "This is crazy, a veterinarian shooting a dog of her next-door neighbor," Sheriff Joseph Lopinto said Tuesday. "This is nuts. I don't know how else to put it." He added: "This is not supposed to be normal. Someone lost a pet today ... I don't care how much it barks; this is not appropriate behavior," per the Advocate. --------------- I used to have sled dogs when I was in the Yukon, and know they really got annoying at times, especially when I was working night shift and trying to sleep during the day, and they decided that I should get up and shoot a porcupine, that was sauntering around just out of reach of their chains. A dozen sled dogs can make quite a racket, but I never shot one of them. I just put some industrial quality yellow ear plugs into my ears, and continued my sleep. Not a big deal. I hope that dingbat gets thrown in the slammer for a few years! _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sunny Re: Slow virus scanning Dear Webby, When I do a virus scan and it gets to big zip files, everything slows down and it takes a long time to get past those zip files. Is there a way to speed that up? Thanks Sunny Move those zip files an old camera chip or onto CDs or DVDs, and delete them off your computer. You are obviously not actively using them, just storing them, so you might as well store them elsewhere. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Ted Nugent on Deer Hunting While on a European tour, Ted was being interviewed by a French journalist. The journalist asked, "What do you think the last thought is in the head of a deer before you shoot it? Is it, `Are you my friend?`or is it `Are you the one who killed my brother?'" Nugent replied, "They aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, 'What am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away. They are very much like the French." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her classes: "A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?" After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on Little Johnny for his answer. With complete sincerity in his voice, Little Johnny answered, "A lawyer!" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Saving Money on Laundry Detergent You can save money on household cleaners like laundry detergent by only using what you need. For example, if you are washing clothing that is not very soiled, you can usually get by using half as much laundry detergent as the manufacturer recommends. Manufacturer recommendations are overkill because they want their product to be effective regardless of how soiled the clothing is. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com font> ____________________________________________________ Bob phones home from his office and says to his wife, "I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. I have to leave right away. Pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas. I'll be home in an hour to pick them up." Bob rushes home to grab everything. He hugs his wife, apologizes for the short notice, and then hurries off. A week later, Bob returns and his wife asks, "Did you have a good trip, dear?" Bob replies, "Yep, the fishing was great...but you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas." His wife smiles and says, "Oh, no I didn't forget them. I put them in your tackle box." | | 12 Nature Photos That Are Guaranteed To Give People Nightmares |
When Jill decided to improve her computer skills, she threw herself into it with enthusiasm. Every week she'd check out two or three instructional books from the library. After about a month the librarian commented, "Wow! You must really be getting knowledgeable at this stuff." "Thanks," Jill said. "What makes you say that?" The librarian answered, "Only one of the books you're checking out this week has 'For Dummies' in the title." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, December 22, in 1715 James Stuart, the "Old Pretender", landed at Petershead after his exile in France. 1775 A Continental naval fleet was organized in the rebellious American colonies under the command of Ezek Hopkins. 1807 The U.S. Congress passed the Embargo Act, designed to force peace between Britain and France by cutting off all trade with Europe. 1864 During the American Civil War, Union Gen. William T. Sherman sent a message to U.S. President Lincoln from Georgia. The message read, "I beg to present you as a Christmas gift the city of Savannah." 1895 German physicist Wilhelm Rntgen made the first X-ray, of his wife's hand. 1939 Gloria Jacobs became the first girl to hold a world pistol record when she shot 299 out of a possible 300 points. She was 17 years old at the time. 1943 Sporting goods manufacturers received permission to use synthetic rubber for the core of baseballs. 1941 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill arrived in Washington for a wartime conference with U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt. 1956 Colo, the first gorilla to be born in captivity, was born at the Columbus, Ohio zoo. 1956 The last British and French forces evacuated Egypt. 1961 James Davis became the first U.S. soldier to die in Vietnam, while U.S. involvement was still limited to the provision of military advisers. 1984 New York City resident Bernhard Goetz shot four black youths on a Manhattan subway. Goetz claimed they were about to rob him. 1989 Romania's hard-line Communist ruler, Nicolae Ceausescu, was overthrown in a popular uprising. 1990 Lech Walesa was sworn in as Poland's first popularly elected president. 1991 The body of Lt. Col. William R. Higgins, an American hostage murdered by his captors, was found along a highway in Lebanon. 1996 A car bomb exploded in Belfast, injuring a known IRA supporter. Police suspected that Protestant loyalists were responsible for the attack. 1998 A unit of RJR Nabsico pled guilty to attempting to smuggle cigarettes into Canada. 2001 Thirty Afghans, including two women, were sworn in as part of the new interim government in Afghanistan. Hamid Karzai was the head of the post-Taliban government. 2017 Do smiled. |
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