Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, January 27 Today's Bonehead Award: Fighting deputies over ticket results in arrests and jail ______________________________________________________ Today, January 27 in 1998 U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton appeared on NBC's "Today" show. She charged that the allegations against her husband were the work of a "vast right-wing conspiracy." More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) Excellence is not an act, it is a habit. --- Aristotle ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ On the night of their wedding, a young couple finally retired to their hotel room. After making her preparations, the bride came out of the bathroom to find the bridegroom on his knees in front of the bed. "What are you doing?" she asked. "I'm praying for guidance," answered the young man. "I'll take care of that," she replied. "You pray for endurance." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ GROAN ALERT! I was in a church meeting where the topic was "Burial or Cremation?" Two of the people got rather worked up. One said to the other, "If you have yourself cremated, all you will be doing is making an ash of yourself!" The other replied, "Well, I'm told that petroleum comes from fossilized bones. So if you have yourself buried all you will be doing is making a fuel of yourself!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Francheska Turull, 37, Jessie Hernandez, 39, Duewayne Dixon,26, West Park, Fort Lauderdale, Florida Fighting deputies over ticket results in arrests and jail Three family members who were arrested after a scuffle with Broward Sheriff's Office deputies, sparked by a traffic stop of an all-terrain vehicle rider in West Park, appeared in bond court to face some serious charges. Twenty-six-year-old Duewayne Dixon faced Broward Circuit Judge Joseph A. Murphy III, Monday. He was joined in bond court by his sister, 37-year-old Francheska Turull, and her husband, 39-year- old Jessie Hernandez. According to officials, it all started when deputies pulled over Dixon along the 3100 block of Southwest 40th Avenue after he was spotted riding his ATV illegally, Sunday afternoon. Investigators said they were just going to give Dixon a citation. Then things got out of hand. At around 3:20 p.m., Hernandez and Turull arrived at the scene and engaged in a verbal altercation with deputies. Neighbors said the couple are Dixon's sister and her husband. Cellphone video captured the escalating chain of events, as the argument gave way to physical violence. Before the tense takedown, deputies told the couple this was just going to be a citation for the rider. It's not a big deal. He's going to get a ticket, bike's going to be towed, and he will be able to come back, said a deputy. But shortly after, the deputy is seen telling Hernandez to back up behind a sidewalk line several times. I'm telling you, do not come any closer, a deputy is heard telling Hernandez, who is himself recording the confrontation on his smartphone. On the sidewalk? Which one? I want to know which line on the sidewalk I can't cross, said Hernandez as he walked closer to the deputy. This line right here. If you cross it, you're going to jail, said the deputy as he pointed to a line. This one right here? said Hernandez as he touched the line with his right foot. The deputy is then seen grabbing Hernandez, who tries to wrestle free, causing the deputy to trip. Two other deputies then grabbed the suspect. Turull is then seen coming into the frame and tussling with the deputy who had fallen down. Moments later, the deputy is seen striking her. Why are you punching her? a woman is heard yelling off screen at least three times. The deputy is seen in the footage hitting Turull repeatedly, even after she fell. The same deputy is then seen placing her under arrest, as three deputies are seen holding down Hernandez. Meanwhile, Dixon is seen calmly sitting in handcuffs next to his vehicle, several feet away from his brother-in-law. Witnesses said what started as a traffic stop spiraled out of control. They shouldn't have gone to jail. For what reason? said an area resident. Because they were coming down here to see what was going on with their family member, and that escalated to a whole different thing. Now, three people went to jail for no reason. Hernandez and Turull were charged with battery on a law enforcement officer and resisting an officer with violence. Turull is facing an additional charge of assault on a law enforcement officer. Dixon was charged with resisting an officer with violence and illegally operating an off-road vehicle. The arrests went down as hundreds of riders continued to take over South Florida roadways as part of the annual Wheels Up, Guns Down protest. Authorities indicated last week that they would crack down on these holiday weekend activities, stressing that those riding off-road vehicles on public roads risk arrest and having their vehicles confiscated. According to the arrest report, the deputy seen hitting Turull admitted to striking her but only after he said she struck him first several times while he was trying to take her into custody. Turull, Hernandez and Dixon were being held at the Broward County Jail on a $1,000 bond. They bonded out Monday night. From: Ann Re: Slow first link Dear DearWebby, I need to pick your awesome brain again....When I click on a link - such as the breast cancer or cup of food sites on your ezine the initial click takes about 2 mins to connect to the site.. then the others are easy- this happens on any site not just yours.... any idea what's going on and how I can fix it ????? Haven't a clue or even where to look for this one. Thanks and thanks as always... Ann Dear Ann That is just Telus, your ISP, turning down your speed when you are not busy browsing. The first link you go to is slow, after that they crank your speed up closer to what you are paying for, Yelling at them does no good, they just have a bunch of lame excuses, and do it anyway. They even do it with expensive business accounts. Not all, but many ISPs do that nowadays. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. After many years, Cinderella finally reached the ripe age of 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she now happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship. One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother. Cinderella says, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years"? The fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. I'm prepared to grant you three wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?" Cinderella was taken back, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish: "The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. I'm living hand to mouth on my disability checks, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension. Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold. Cinderella said, "Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother" "It is the least that I can do," replies her Fairy Godmother. "What do you want for your second wish?" Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, "I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had." At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside of her that had been dormant for years. And then the fairy godmother spoke once more: "You have one more wish; what shall it be?" Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, "I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man." Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen. "Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life!" And with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the Fairy Godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared. For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen. Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his young muscular arms. He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered... "Bet you're sorry you neutered me." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Thanks to Tina for this classic: Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle. >From the Daily News comes this story of a Walsall couple who drove their car to Asda, only to have their car break down in the car park. The husband told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of hairy legs protruding from under the chassis. Unfortunately, although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned his private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the bonnet and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The RAC mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Get an Estimate for Car Repairs A man went to his lawyer and stated, "I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it." The lawyer said, "No problem, leave it all to me." The man looked somewhat upset as he said, "Well, I knew you were going to take a big slice, but I'd like to leave a little to my children, too!" Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | Enjoy a wee day out in Scotland. |
___________________________________________________ There's a little boy at school and asks the teacher if he can go to the washroom. "Okay" says the teacher. "But first you've got to say the alphabet." They boy says the alphabet: "a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, q, r, s, t, u, v, w, x, y, z." "What happened to the 'p'?" asked the teacher. "It's leaking out of my boots now." ___________________________________________________ Jim: "How did you get that bruise on your arm?" Joe: "I ate some Easter candy." Jim: "Eating Easter candy won't give you a bruise." Joe: "It will if it's your sister's candy!" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A stingy old man who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness is determined to prove wrong the saying, "You can't take it with you." After much thought and consideration, the old miser finally decides how to take at least some of his money with him when he goes. He instructs his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. Then he tells her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. He tells her that when he goes, he'll just reach out and grab the bags on his way to Heaven. Several weeks after the funeral, the widow is up in the attic cleaning and comes upon the two forgotten pillowcases stuffed with cash. "Oh, that old fool," she exclaims. "I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement." ___________________________________________________ | Today January 27 in 1606 The trial of Guy Fawkes and his fellow conspirators began. They were executed on January 31. 1880 Thomas Edison patented the electric incandescent lamp. 1888 The National Geographic Society was founded in Washington, DC. 1900 In China, foreign diplomats in Peking, fearing a revolt, demanded that the imperial government discipline the Boxer rebels. 1926 John Baird, a Scottish inventor, demonstrated a pictorial transmission machine called television. 1943 During World War II, the first all American air raid against Germany took place when about 50 bombers attacked Wilhlemshaven. 1944 The Soviet Union announced that the two year German siege of Leningrad had come to an end. 1945 Soviet troops liberated the Nazi concentration camps Auschwitz and Birkenau in Poland. 1948 Wire Recording Corporation of America announced the first magnetic tape recorder. The 'Wireway' machine with a built-in oscillator sold for $149.50. 1951 In the U.S., atomic testing in the Nevada desert began as an Air Force plane dropped a one-kiloton bomb on Frenchman Flats. 1967 At Cape Kennedy, FL, astronauts Virgil I. "Gus" Grissom, Edward H. White and Roger B. Chaffee died in a flash fire during a test aboard their Apollo I spacecraft. Oxygen enriched atmosphere makes every combustibe item a fire hazad. 1967 More than 60 nations signed the Outer Space Treaty which banned the orbiting of nuclear weapons and placing weapons on celestial bodies or space stations. 1973 The Vietnam peace accords were signed in Paris. 1977 The Vatican reaffirmed the Roman Catholic Church's ban on female priests. 1981 U.S. President Reagan greeted the 52 former American hostages released by Iran at the White House. 1984 Wayne Gretzky set a National Hockey League (NHL) record for consecutive game scoring. He ended the streak at 51 games. 1985 The Coca-Cola Company, of Atlanta, GA, announced a plan to sell its soft drinks in the Soviet Union. 1992 Former world boxing champion Mike Tyson went on trial for allegedly raping an 18-year-old contestant in the 1991 Miss Black America Contest. 1996 Mahamane Ousmane, the first democratically elected president of Niger, was overthrown by a military coup. Colonel Ibrahim Bare Mainassara declared himself head of state. 1997 It was revealed that French national museums were holding nearly 2,000 works of art stolen from Jews by the Nazis during World War II. 1998 U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton appeared on NBC's "Today" show. She charged that the allegations against her husband were the work of a "vast right-wing conspiracy." 1999 The U.S. Senate blocked dismissal of the impeachment case against President Clinton and voted for new testimony from Monica Lewinsky and two other witnesses. 2002 A series of explosions occurred at a military dump in Lagos, Nigeria. More than 1,000 people were killed in the blast and in the attempt to escape. 2003 Altria Group, Inc. became the name of the parent company of Kraft Foods, Philip Morris USA, Philip Morris International and Philip Morris Capital Corporation. 2010 Steve Jobs unveiled the Apple iPad. 2019 Do smiled. |
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