Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, October 25 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Dispatchers Tell Him To Stop Calling 911 Or Hell Be Arrested. He Keeps Calling. Is Arrested. ___________________________________________________ Today, October 25 in 1917 The Bolsheviks (Communists) under Vladimir Ilyich Lenin seized power in Russia. ____________________________________________________ I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on. --- Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972) ____________________________________________________ The thunder god went for a ride, upon his favorite filly. "I'm Thor," he cried. The horse replied, "You forgot your thaddle, thilly." ____________________________________________________ A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue. Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the 17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one- half, or nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and drove home. ____________________________________________________ Snowflake, AB Black Fox ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Dianne for this story: Although many men in our rural area have difficulty accepting women's lib, my husband helps with the housework. One day he took over the vacuuming while I went to the store. The doorbell rang. It was one of his friends, a burly ranch foreman clad in a battered cowboy hat, faded jeans and worn boots. "I was just cleaning," my husband said somewhat abashed, turning off the vacuum. The rancher looked relieved. "That's all right," he said gruffly, handing my husband a white paper bag. "I'm delivering Avon!" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Colin Melcher, Delray Beach, Florida, USA Dispatchers Tell Him To Stop Calling 911 Or Hell Be Arrested. He Keeps Calling. Is Arrested. A Delray Beach man was jailed early Friday morning after police say he called 911 repeatedly to complain about the police. Colin Melcher, according to Delray Beach police, was in a domestic dispute with a woman that required officers to respond to his home in the 1900 block of Linton Lake Drive. They did, and Melcher was allegedly unhappy with the result of their work. Wrote an officer, After officers left, Melcher continued to call 911 and was advised by dispatch if he did not stop, he would be arrested. He continued to call 911 and stated he did not care that he was going to be arrested. Melcher called 911 at 2302 hours, 2305 hours, 2309 hours, again at 2309 hours, and 2316 hours. Police returned to his home and placed Melcher under arrest. The charge: false 911 calls. He was booked into the Palm Beach County Jail at 1:28 Friday morning and released just after 6 a.m. on his own recognizance. Hes scheduled to be back in court in November. From BocaNewsNow.com ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Sandie Re: Sharpen Dear Webby, How do I sharpen pictures that I took from too far away? Sandie Dear Sandie First make sure you got a large picture to work with. If necessary expand it to 1024 x 768. That used to be the max size for the big tube type monitors. I still use that size for the large click-through picture. Then increase contrast by 10 - 15 points. That will also change the brightness and the picture might now be too bright or too dark. Adjust the brightness so that it looks about right. After that, you can mess with the contrast some more, and finally, tune the brightness again. Sometimes you have to repeat those steps until you are happy with it. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ If you tell the Navy to secure a building, they will turn out the lights and lock the door. If you tell the Army to secure a building, they will occupy it and forbid entry to those without a pass. If you tell the Marines to secure a building, they assault with heavy fire, capture the building, fortify it and call for an air strike. If you tell the Air Force to secure a building, they will negotiate a three year lease with an option to buy. If you tell the Congress to secure a building, they will form two separate commissions to study which security contractors will provide the best bribe packages, ahem incentives. ______________________________________________ My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we were driving through Georgia. Hoping to get off with a warning, Mom tried to appear shocked when he walked up to the car. "I have never been stopped like this before," she said to the officer. "What do they usually do, ma'am," he asked, "shoot the tires out?" ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Q: What did God say after creating man? A: "I can do so much better." Q: What did he say after he created woman? A: "OOOPS!!" And neither God nor man has rested since. ___________________________________________________ | Today, October 25, in 1415 In Northern France, England won the Battle of Agincourt over France during the Hundred Years' War. Almost 6000 Frenchmen were killed while fewer than 400 were lost by the English. 1812 During the War of 1812, the U.S. frigate United States captured the British vessel Macedonian. 1854 The Charge of the Light Brigade took place during the Crimean War. The British were winning the Battle of Balaclava when Lord James Cardigan received an order to attack the Russians. He took his troops into a valley and suffered 40 percent caualties. Later it was revealed that the order was the result of confusion and was not given intentionally. 1870 The first U.S. trademark was given. The recipient was the Averill Chemical Paint Company of New York City. 1881 The founder of "Cubism," Pablo Picasso, was born in Malaga, Spain. 1917 The Bolsheviks (Communists) under Vladimir Ilyich Lenin seized power in Russia. 1929 Alber B. Fall, of U.S. President Harding's cabinet, was found guilty of taking a bribe. He was sentenced to a year in prison and fined $100,000. 1951 In Panmunjom, peace talks concerning the Korean War resumed after 63 days. 1954 A U.S. cabinet meeting was televised for the first time. 1955 The microwave oven, for home use, was introduced by The Tappan Company. 1958 U.S. Marines withdrew from Beirut, Lebanon. They had been sent in on July 25, 1958, to protect the nation's pro- Western government. 1960 The Accutron watch by the Bulova Watch Company was introduced. 1962 U.S. Ambassador Adlai Stevenson presented photographic evidence to the United Nations Security Council. The photos were of Soviet missile bases in Cuba. 1971 The U.N. General Assembly voted to expel Taiwan and admit mainland China. 1983 U.S. troops and soldiers from six Caribbean nations invaded Grenada to restore order and provide protection to U.S. citizens after a recent coup within Grenada's Communist (pro-Cuban) government. 1990 It was announced by U.S. Defense Secretary Dick Cheney that the Pentagon was planning to send 100,000 more troops to Saudi Arabia. 2000 AT&T Corp. announced that it would restructure into a family of four separately traded companies (consumer, business, broadband and wireless). 2001 It was announced that scientists had unearthed the remains of an ancient crocodile which lived 110 million years ago. The animal, found in Gadoufaoua, Niger, grew as long as 40 feet and weighed as much as eight metric tons. 2021 Do smiled. |
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