Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, February 5 Thank you, Mary! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today, February 5, in 1783 Sweden recognized the independence of the United States. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Drug Suspect Claimed Bag Of Syringes Was "For Fishing," ___________________________________________________ Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) ___________________________________________________ A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home. ____________________________________________________ Adnan Maqbool ____________________________________________________ A grandmother came by to show off her brand-new Pontiac Grand Am. The eight-year-old granddaughter took one look at the car and indignantly proclaimed, "They spelled grandma wrong!" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Eric Bennett, 30, Vero Beach, Florida, USA Drug Suspect Claimed Bag Of Syringes Was "For Fishing," A drug suspect found with fentanyl and a bag of hypodermic needles told Florida police that he used the syringes for fishing, according to an arrest report. Police responding Saturday afternoon to a 911 call about a suspicious person encountered Eric Bennett, 30, on a Vero Beach street. An officer described Bennett (seen above) as visibly intoxicated on an unknown substance. Asked about large bulges in the pockets of his shorts--and whether he possessed any weapons--Bennett replied, I have hypodermic needles for fishing. He then removed a plastic bag with syringes inside from a pocket and placed the works on the hood of a squad car. Bennett also handed over a cigarette pack containing a baggie with fentanyl. I dont want to go to jail, said Bennett, whose occupation is listed as landscaping in court records. The Vero Beach resident was arrested on a felony narcotics possession charge and booked into the county jail, where he is being held in lieu of $7500 bond. Bennett, who is scheduled to be arraigned on February 25, has prior convictions for grand theft, DUI, driving without a license, possession of drug paraphernalia, and probation violation. When arrested on January 22, Bennett was not carrying any fishing equipment, nor did he expound on his purported use of tiny spears to impale a big catch. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Nadia Re: Searcher Dear Webby On my last machine I had an unbeatable searcher, that I had gotten from you ages ago. Well now I need it for my current machine. My now EX took my old machine. Where is it? (The Searcher. I know where my EX is!) How much does it cost? Nadia Dear Nadia It is called Everything and it is at https://www.voidtools.com/downloads/ Like my Humor Letter, it is free. And also like me, they do appreciate a voluntary donation now and then. Have FUN! DearWebby Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other. Sandy approached and asked if she was all right. The girl said she was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The girl hesitated, gave her a very suspicious look and then said, "Okay". Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?" "Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ One day after a nasty streak of bad weather, Jill asked her teen-age son to take their dog out for a good, long walk after school. When she came home from work, she found her son stretched out and snoring on the recliner. He had the leash in one hand, while the dog trotted happily away on the treadmill, watching TV! ______________________________________________ An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer: "As you are fitting his glasses, if he asks how much they cost, you say '$275.' ... If his eyes don't flutter, say, 'For the frames. The lenses will be $250.'... If his eyes still don't flutter, you add ...'Each.' ---- Looks like I better learn to flutter my eyes! ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
The finance committee of our church refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier, because none of the committee members knows how to play one. ___________________________________________________ | Today, February 5, in 1782 The Spanish captured Minorca from the British. 1783 Sweden recognized the independence of the United States. 1846 "The Oregon Spectator", based in Oregon City, became the first newspaper published on the Pacific coast. 1861 Samuel Goodale patented the moving picture peep show machine. 1885 Congo State was established under Leopold II of Belgium, as a personal possession. 1917 Mexico's constitution was adopted. 1917 The U.S. Congress passed the Immigration Act of 1917 (Asiatic Barred Zone Act) with an overwhelming majority. The action overrode President Woodrow Wilson's December 14, 1916 veto. 1924 The BBC time signals, or "pips", from Greenwich Observatory were heard for the first time. They are broadcast every hour. 1931 Maxine Dunlap became the first woman licensed as a glider pilot. 1952 In New York City, four signs were installed at 44th Street and Broadway in Times Square that told pedestrians "don't walk." 1958 Gamel Abdel Nasser was formally nominated to become the first president of the United Arab Republic. 1962 French President Charles De Gaulle called for Algeria's independence. 1982 Great Britain imposed economic sanctions against Poland and Russia in protest against martial law in Poland. 1988 A pair of indictments were unsealed in Florida, accusing Panama's military leader, Gen. Manuel Antonio Noriega, of bribery and drug trafficking. 1994 White separatist Byron De La Beckwith was convicted in Jackson, MS, of the 1963 murder of civil rights leader Medgar Evers. 1997 Switzerland's "Big Three" banks announced they would create a $71 million fund for Holocaust victims and their families. 1997 Investment bank Morgan Stanley announced a $10 billion merger with Dean Witter. 1999 Mike Tyson was sentenced to a year in jail for assaulting two people after a car accident on August 31, 1998. Tyson was also fined $5,000, had to serve 2 years of probation, and had to perform 200 hours of community service upon release. 2001 Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman announced their separation. 2003 U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell presented evidence to the U.N. concerning Iraq's material breach of U.N. Resolution 1441. 2021 Do smiled. |
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