Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, April 17 Today is Easter ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award NJ man ran over woman twice in horrific road rage incident ___________________________________________________ On April 17 in 1961, About 1,400 U.S.-supported Cuban exiles invaded Cuba at the Bay of Pigs in an attempt to overthrow Fidel Castro. It was an unsuccessful attack. __________________________________________________ Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. --- George Carlin (1937 - 2008) ____________________________________________________ Sam made an appointment with a urologist, famous for his work in the field of impotence. The doctor examined him and said, "You're in remarkably good condition for a man of 85. Why are you here?" Sam replied, "My friend Max says he has sex twice a week. I can't do that." The doctor shrugged. "Yes you can. You can certainly SAY you have sex as many times a week as you like." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ One afternoon, two doctors from India were having an animated discussion. "I say it's spelled 'W-H-O-O-M'," said the first Indian doctor. "No, it is 'W-H-O-M-B'," said the other Indian doctor. An American nurse passing by said, "Excuse me, you are both wrong. It is spelled 'W-O-M-B'." "Thank you nurse," said one of the doctors, "but we prefer to settle this argument ourselves. Besides, we don't think you are in a position to describe the sound of an elephant passing wind under water." ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Thousands of UK men are getting the brush-off when women they are interested in hand them their phone number as 01279 633 452 which when called tells the hapless Romeos, "The person you are calling was obviously not interested. For advice on personal hygiene, improving your dress sense or better ways of approaching females, please hold." Then the message continues, "I'm sorry, all our operators are busy washing their hair." For the US there are plenty of "Rejection Lines". Here are some: (646) 926-6614: The Mary Sue Rejection Hotline, which will say, Oh hello there. If youre hearing this message, youve made a woman feel unsafe and/or disrespected. Please learn to take no for an answer and respect womens emotional and physical autonomy. K THANKKS. Best of all, itll send texts as well, and waits an hour to send the text once its received one so you have time to bounce. (719) 266-2837: Call and Oates, which lets callers pick a classic Hall and Oates song to play. (605) 475-6968: The Rejection Hotline, which politely explains to the individual that whoever gave them this number is not into them. (888) 447-5594: An easter egg hotline for finishing the first God of War. By the gods, youve done it! (206) 569-5829: The Loser Line, a Seattle radio station phone number that rejected people can call and leave a message. Those recorded messages will sometimes air during the stations morning show. ____________________________________________________ Two men were sitting at a bar recounting their dreams. "I dreamed I was on vacation," one man said fondly. "It was just me and my fishing rod and this big beautiful lake. What a dream." "I had a great dream too," said the other. "I dreamed I was in bed with two beautiful women and having the time of my life." His companion looked over and exhorted, "You dreamed you had two beautiful women, and you didn't call me?" "Oh, I did," said the other, "but when I called, your wife said you'd gone fishing." ___________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Vincent Jean, 56, Elizabeth, N.J., USA NJ man ran over woman twice in horrific road rage incident Horrific road rage attack A motorist is charged with attempted murder for repeatedly driving over a woman after a fender bender. Video from a home security camera shows a car driving onto a sidewalk and then across a lawn as the victim tried to run away. A New Jersey man faces multiple charges after he allegedly ran over a woman, repeatedly, when she attempted to take pictures of his vehicle following a collision. According to the Union County Prosecutor's Office, Vincent Jean, 56, of Elizabeth, was driving a Mitsubishi SUV on Tuesday at about 8:30 a.m. when it collided with a 23-year- old woman's vehicle in the area of Salem Avenue and Aberdeen Road in Elizabeth. Witnesses told prosecutors that Jean attempted to flee the scene and the woman, who was standing on the sidewalk, began taking photos of his car in order to be able to identify him to the police. That's when Jean drove directly at the woman who ran onto a lawn. Jean then drove onto the lawn and struck the woman, backed up, and ran over her a second time, said prosecutors. The Union County Prosecutor's Office says Vincent Jean, of Elizabeth, drove over a woman twice before fleeing following a collision. Police responded to a 911 call about the injured woman and found her lying on the lawn with severe injuries. Jean fled the scene but was found sitting in his car parked on Jefferson Avenue. The SUV was visibly damaged, added police. The victim was rushed to University Hospital in critical condition. Her family issued the following statement Thursday: "The family would like to express its gratitude for the expedient response to this incident by the Union County Prosecutor's Office, the Elizabeth Police Department, EMS workers as well as Elizabeth Mayor, Chris Bollwage. We also want to thank the citizens of Elizabeth for their aid and support, especially the school bus driver who intervened and the neighbor who provided the security camera footage of this horrific crime. "We want to be clear that this was not the result of any domestic dispute. This man was a complete stranger who committed a heinous act of road rage and attempted to kill our daughter simply because she was trying to get necessary information to lawfully report an accident while he was fleeing the scene. Although we are heartbroken and deeply saddened by what happened, we are thankful that our daughter is alive. We are now focused on her care and recovery and will rely on the law enforcement professionals and the court system to dispense justice. We appreciate the outpouring of love and support but we ask that you respect our family's privacy during this time." Jean was charged with first-degree attempted murder, second-degree aggravated assault, third-degree aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, third-degree assault by auto, third-degree leaving the scene of a motor vehicle accident with serious bodily injury, third-degree endangering an injured victim and third-degree possession of a weapon for an unlawful purpose. He is held at the Union County jail pending a court appearance. He won't be driving again in the foreseeable future, and he can write off that car. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Neil Re: How to Search Text in Multiple Word Files Dear Webby You CAN do it with some tools! SeekFast Dear Neil Neil is the genius, who connected me with Computer Rack, where I got my W7 Refurb machines. They are actually high performance W10 machines with a legal W7 installation, and they are FASSSSST! Thanks Neil! Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! __________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ As he was driving home from work, a man in a rural community was stopped by a local police officer. He was given a ticket for failing to come to a full stop at a stop sign. "Don't I get a warning?" he protested. The officer replied, "Sure, I can give you a warning. If you don't come to a complete stop next time, you'll get another $175 ticket just like this one ______________________________________________ Hmmmm a. The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000. b. Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year is 120,000. c. Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171. (Source: U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services) Then think about this: a. The number of gun owners in the US is 80,000,000. b. The number of accidental gun deaths per year (all age groups) is 1,500. c. The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .0000188. Statistically, US doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners. ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A large crowd gathered at an accident on Main street. A newspaper reporter, anxious to get his story, could not get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim." The crowd parted and made way for him. Lying in front of the car, was a dead monkey. ___________________________________________________ | Today, April 17, in 1492, Christopher Columbus signed a contract with Spain to find a passage to Asia and the Indies. 1521, Martin Luther was excommunicated from the Roman Catholic Church. 1524, New York Harbor was discovered by Giovanni Verrazano. 1535, Antonio Mendoza was appointed first viceroy of New Spain. 1629, Horses were first imported into the colonies by the American Massachusetts Bay Colony. 1704, John Campbell published what would eventually become the first successful American newspaper. It was known as the Boston "News-Letter." 1808, By one Decree by Napoleon I of France ordered the seizure of U.S. ships. 1810, Pineapple cheese was patented by Lewis M. Norton. 1824, Russia abandoned all North American claims south of 54' 40'. 1860, New Yorkers learned of a new law that required fire escapes to be provided for tenement houses. 1861, Virginia became the eighth state to secede from the Union. 1864, U.S. Civil War General Grant banned the trading of prisoners. 1865, Mary Surratt was arrested as a conspirator in the Lincoln assassination. 1875, The game "snooker" was invented by Sir Neville Chamberlain. 1895, China and Japan signed the Treaty of Shimonoseki. It was the end of the first Sino-Japanese War. In the treaty China ceded Taiwan to Japan. 1916, The American Academy of Arts and Letters obtained a charter from the U.S. Congress. 1917, A bill in Congress to establish Daylight Saving Time was defeated. It was passed a couple of months later. 1935, "Lights Out" debuted on NBC Radio. It ran until 1952. 1941, Igor Sikorsky accomplished the first successful helicopter lift-off from water near Stratford, CT. 1941, The office of Price Administration was established in the U.S. to handle rationing. 1946, The last French troops left Syria. 1961, About 1,400 U.S.-supported Cuban exiles invaded Cuba at the Bay of Pigs in an attempt to overthrow Fidel Castro. It was an unsuccessful attack. 1964, Jerrie Mock became first woman to fly an airplane solo around the world. 1964, The Ford Motor Company unveiled its new Mustang model. 1967, The U.S. Supreme Court barred Muhammad Ali's request to be blocked from induction into the U.S. Army. 1969, In Los Angeles, Sirhan Sirhan was convicted of assassinating U.S. Senator Robert F. Kennedy. 1969, Czechoslovak Communist Party chairman Alexander Dubcek was deposed. 1970, Apollo 13 returned to Earth safely after an on-board accident with an oxygen tank. 1975, Khmer Rouge forces capture the capital of Cambodia, Phnom Penh. It was the end of the five-year war. 1983, In Warsaw, police routed 1,000 Solidarity supporters. 1983, In New York, a transit strike that began on March 7 ended. 19840, In London, demonstrators outside the Libyan Embassy were fired upon from someone inside. Eleven people were injured and an English Police woman was killed. 1985, The U.S. Postal Service unveiled its new 22-cent, "LOVE" stamp. 1985, In Lebanon, the cabinet resigned as Shiites took W. Beirut. 1987, In Sri Lanka, Tamil guerrillas killed 122 people in a road ambush. 1989, In Poland, courts gave Solidarity legal status. 1993, A federal jury in Los Angeles convicted two former police officers of violating the civil rights of beaten motorist Rodney King. Two other officers were acquitted. 1996, Erik and Lyle Menendez were sentenced to life in prison without parole for killing their parents. 1999, In India, the government of Prime Minister Atal Bihari Vajpayee collapsed after losing a vote of confidence. 2002, At the National Maritime Museum in London, the exhibit "Skin Deep, A History of Tattooing" opened. 2022 Do smiled. |
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