Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, October 27 Holy Frap! The Mexican Government just got defeated ____________________________________________________ Today, October 27 in 1938 Du Pont announced "nylon" as the new name for its new synthetic yarn. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Man impersonating officer pulls over van full of cops _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ He may be mad, but there's method in his madness. There nearly always is method in madness. It's what drives men mad, being methodical. --- G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936) _______________________________________________ Two young medical students were standing on a street corner observing people as they passed and discussing any abnormalities with each other that they may have seen in passers-by. They saw this old fellow sort of duck waddling down the street at a slow pace. The two students introduced themselves to the gentleman and told him that they didn't agree with each others diagnosis of the old mans problem. One says, "my friend thinks you have a bad case of hemorrhoids, and I think you have a hernia." The old man said, "Well, I thought it was a going to be fart, but it looks like all three of us were wrong with our guessing." ________________________________________________` ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Valiery Portlock, 25, Hicksville, New York. Man impersonating officer pulls over van full of cops Police say they arrested Portlock for attempting to pull an unmarked van full of detectives over on New York's Long Island while posing as a police officer. According to the Nassau County Police department, a Hicksville Man was arrested for criminal impersonation last week. Detectives say that 25-year-old Valiery Portlock of Gerald Avenue was traveling on Hicksville Road in a black Nissan Sentra when he activated his airhorn and emergency lights built on his car and attempted to pull over a van. Turns out the van was occupied by Nassau County Electronics Squad detectives. The detectives, while stopped in traffic, identified themselves and then approached Porlock's vehicle. Portlock fled the scene, swerved into oncoming traffic and refused to stop. He continued to drive at a high rate speed and onto Long Island Expressway. Highway patrol officers were notified and spotted Portlock, initiating another traffic stop. Porlock was placed under arrest without incident. He is charged with first-degree criminal impersonation, second- degree reckless endangerment and unlawful fleeing from a police officer, along with multiple VTL violations. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Steff Re: Debugging Dear Webby, I love your newsletter, and have learned so much from your tech tips. I have a very annoying problem that I hope you can help me with. When I log into certain sites I get a message that there is a "runtime error" and asks "do you wish to debug?". I have selected "yes" a few times, but the (only) debug program - "new instance of Microsoft script editor" never goes through, I get a message "the URI to be decoded is not a valid encoding". Most of the time if I do not attempt debugging I am able to go to the site. Should I just put up with being annoyed, or is there something I can do? Microsoft charges $59 for support help but they never have a clue. Thanks so much. Steff Dear Steff That debugging is a leftover from when they copied Netscape and made Internet Explorer. Somehow they can't quite get rid of it. Theoretically, Webmasters and page designers can use that feature for finding problems in java script in their pages. That part is not intended for end users. Just go into TOOLS, Internet Options, Advanced, and look for lines referring to script debugging. Take the checkmarks off those lines. After that, you won't see alerts about script errors any more. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check." "Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!" When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work. The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
After booking my 80-year-old grandmother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her special needs. The representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother because of her arthritis and impaired vision to the point of near blindness. My apprehension lightened a bit when the woman assured me that everything would be taken care of. I thanked her profusely. "Oh, you're welcome," she replied. I was about to hang up when she cheerfully asked, "And will your grandmother need a rental car?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Make a Hand Sander Wrap sandpaper around a wood block to sand large areas of wood. The wood will be sanded evenly and the sand paper will wear evenly. For round or irregular surfaces you can get foam sanding blocks with different grades on different sides. They last surprisingly long and can be cleaned with the rubber sticks used to clean belt sander loops. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ | | Ghost Busters Halloween Light Show |
___________________________________________________ >From Tom I love the outdoors, and because of my passion for hunting and fishing, my family eats a considerable amount of wild game. We eat so much wild game, in fact, that one evening as I set a platter of broiled venison steaks on the dinner table, my ten-year-old daughter looked up and said: "Boy, it sure would be nice if pizzas lived in the woods." ___________________________________________________ Flying through the Midwest in the summertime means one thing: turbulence. I was working as a flight attendant on one particular flight when we hit a patch of very rough air just after a young teenager, obviously on her first flight, had entered the bathroom. After the bumps had sub- sided, she exited the bathroom, a look of sheer terror etched on her face. "Are you all right?" I asked as I helped her to her seat. "Don't worry, that turbulence was as bad as it gets." "So that's what it was," she said. "I thought I'd pushed the wrong button." ___________________________________________________ A lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. "Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners." "Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money!" and she proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. "If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder." "Well," she said, "I hope you've got a good appetite because the electricity was cut off this morning." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, October 27 in 1659 William Robinson and Marmaduke Stevenson became the first Quakers to be executed in America. 1795 The United States and Spain signed the Treaty of San Lorenzo. The treaty is also known as "Pinckney's Treaty." 1858 Roland Macy opened Macy's Department Store in New York City. It was Macy's eighth business adventure, the other seven failed. 1878 The Manhattan Savings Bank in New York City was robbed of over $3,000,000. The robbery was credited to George "Western" Leslie even though there was not enough evidence to convict him, only two of his associates were convicted. 1904 The New York subway system officially opened. It was the first rapid-transit subway system in America. 1925 Fred Waller received a patent for water skis. 1927 The first newsreel featuring sound was released in New York. 1931 Chuhei Numbu of Japan set a long jump record at 26' 2 1/4". 1938 Du Pont announced "nylon" as the new name for its new synthetic yarn. 1947 "You Bet Your Life," the radio show starring Grouch Marx, premiered on ABC. It was later shown on NBC television. 1954 Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio were divorced. They had been married on January 14, 1954. 1954 The first Walt Disney television show "Disneyland" premiered on ABC. 1962 The Soviet Union adds to the Cuban Missile Crisis by calling for the dismantling of U.S. missile basis in Turkey. U.S. President Kennedy agreed to the new aspect of the agreement. 1978 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat and Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin were named winners of the Nobel Peace Prize for their progress toward achieving a Middle East accord. 1994 The U.S. Justice Department announced that the U.S. prison population had exceeded one million for the first time in American history. 2002 Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva was elected president of Brazil in a runoff. He was the country's first elected leftist leader. 2003 Bank of America Corp. announced it had agreed to buy FleetBoston Financial Corp. The deal created the second largest banking company in the U.S. 2019 Do smiled. |
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