Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, December 15 Are you interested in getting mycheer.com mycheers.com $15 each. You can use them for anything you want. ____________________________________________________ Today, December 15 in 2001 It was announced that Siena Heights University would begin offering a class called "Animated Philosophy and Religion." The two-credit class would cover how religion and philosophy are part of popular culture and is based on the television series "The Simpsons." Applying for food stamps is an additional, optional course. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: California Woman stabbed another in belief she was wearing fur _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ It is our responsibilities, not ourselves, that we should take seriously. --- Peter Ustinov (1921 - 2004) "You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance." --- Franklin P. Jones The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them. --- Socratex _______________________________________________ Paratroopers from England, Scotland, France and the US were on a plane. During World War II, four paratroopers, one each from England, Scotland, France and the US, were on a plane, about to jump when they realized there was only one serviceable parachute. The French paratrooper downed a glass of cognac, said "Pour la France!" and jumped without the parachute. The American downed a glass of bourbon, said "For freedom!" and jumped without the parachute. The Scotsman downed a glass of whiskey, said "For Scotland!" and threw out the Englishman. ________________________________________________` A meteor blazes across the Milky Way galaxy in this colorful view from the La Silla Observatory in Chile's Atacama Desert, captured by European Southern Observatory photo ambassador Babak Tafreshi. The starry night sky and orange airglow near the horizon are reflected in the dish of the Swedish-ESO Submillimetre Telescope. ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Meredith Lowell, 35, Cleveland Heights, California California Woman stabbed another in belief she was wearing fur 2nd Bonehead Award A woman with a history of attacks on people wearing fur has been charged with attempted murder for stabbing a woman she believed was wearing the material at a church outside Cleveland, police said. Meredith Lowell, 35, is being held on a $1 million bond after the attack Wednesday afternoon at a Presbyterian church in Cleveland Heights. The victim had brought children she was babysitting to the church for choir practice, and Lowell stabbed her twice in the arm and once in the abdomen with a kitchen knife, according to a Cleveland Heights police report. A man wrestled Lowell to the floor and held her until officers arrived, the police report said. The victim remained hospitalized Thursday, Police Chief Anne Mecklenburg said. Her condition was unclear. It's also not clear whether the victim was wearing real fur. A telephone number to seek comment from Lowell's attorney could not be found. Lowell was arrested a year ago on suspicion of attacking someone she believed was wearing fur at a Whole Foods store in University Heights. A police report said Lowell punched and then tried to cut a woman wearing a jacket with fake fur on its hood with the serrated blade of a Swiss Army knife. The jacket was gashed, a police photo shows, but the woman was not cut. Lowell was indicted in January on one count of felonious assault in Cuyahoga County. An online court docket shows she pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity last month. The case is pending. And in March 2012, Lowell was indicted in federal court in Cleveland after authorities said she posted on Facebook that she wanted to hire a hit man to kill someone wearing fur. Lowell wrote that she would be willing to pay between $830 and $850, according to an FBI affidavit. An undercover FBI agent contacted Lowell, who asked that a person be killed with a gun or a knife at a Cleveland Heights library and that she planned to be there when the murder was carried out, authorities said. Lowell told the agent she wanted to set up an animal rights militia and specified that a victim at the library should be at least 12 years old and at least 4 feet tall, the affidavit said. She was arrested in February 2012. Those charges were dropped in January 2013 when it was determined she could not be rehabilitated to competency, court records show. However, I gave her a Bonehead Award for that too. It seemed obvious that the nut would cause similar problems again. That look, like Greta or Petunia, showing a boneheaded belief in her own wacky theories and absolutely refusing to listen to facts, guarantees more trouble. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Rosa Re: Windows upside down Dear Webby, My grandson, the smart-ass, truned my screens upside down. There is no way I can do anything without turning the monitor or myself upside down. Help! Rosa Dear Rosa That is a childish trick that usually girls do to their brothers. CTRL SHIFT ALT and the DOWN arrow will trun the screen upright again. It MAY blacken one or both screens for a few seconds. Don't panic, just wait. When the screen come alive again, they will be upright again. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. A flight instructor was sent out to help a trainee who had radioed that he was about to make a forced landing a few miles from the base. The instructor spotted the plane standing in a field small enough to present a real challenge to his professional reputation. With determination, full flaps and engine just above the stall, he maneuvered into the field. Climbing out, he shouted angrily to the trainee, "Just how did you manage to get into such a small field?" "I landed in the big field over there," the trainee pointed, "but in order to leave room for you, I had the farmer tow me here." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
b >From Mike One Sunday morning when my son, David, was about 5, we were attending a church in our community. It was common for the preacher to invite the children to the front of the church and have a small lesson before beginning the sermon. He would bring in an item they could find around the house and relate it to a teaching from the Bible. This particular morning, the visual aid for his lesson was a smoke detector. He asked the children if anyone knew what it meant when an alarm sounded from the smoke detector. My child immediately raised his hand and said, "It means Mom is cooking dinner and checking email at the same time." What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book http://webby.com/cb You can download it and give the file as a gift! ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Clutter Control: Online Banking Use online banking to cut down on the amount of paperwork you have to organize. Also, most credit card companies allow you to pay bills online and you can have them send you electronic statements by email. You can save them digitally and print when you need them. For More Tips On Banking, Click Here http://www.thriftyfun.com/Budget%20and%20Finance_Banking_442_447.html Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Last October my wife bought a magnolia tree from the local nursery, but after only a few weeks the leaves shriveled. It appeared to be on its last legs. My wife took some leaf samples and marched into the nursery to demand an explanation. "I know exactly what's wrong with your magnolia," said the manager. "Good," said my wife. "What's it suffering from?" "Autumn," he replied. ___________________________________________________ Our minister announced that admission to a church social event would be six dollars per person. "However, if you're over 65," he said, "the price will be only $5.50." >From the back of the congregation, a woman's voice rang out: "Do you really think I'd give you that information for a lousy fifty cents?" ___________________________________________________ One workman asks another, "How long have you been working here?" The other one replies, "Since they threatened to fire me." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today December 15 in 1654 A meteorological office established in Tuscany began recording daily temperature readings. 1791 In the U.S., the first ten amendments to the Constitution, known as the Bill of Rights, went into effect following ratification by the state of Virginia. 1840 Napoleon Bonaparte's remains were interred in Les Invalides in Paris, having been brought from St. Helena, where he died in exile. 1854 In Philadelphia, the first street cleaning machine was put into use. 1877 Thomas Edison patented the phonograph. 1890 American Sioux Indian Chief Sitting Bull and 11 other tribe members were killed in Grand River, SD, during an incident with Indian police working for the U.S. government. 1939 "Gone With the Wind," produced by David O. Selznick based on the novel by Margaret Mitchell, premiered at Loew's Grand Theater in Atlanta. The movie starred Vivien Leigh and Clark Gable. 1944 A single-engine plane carrying U.S. Army Major Glenn Miller disappeared in thick fog over the English Channel while en route to Paris. 1944 American forces invaded Mindoro Island in the Philippines. 1944 Dr. R. Townley Paton and a small group of doctors laid the groundwork for the Eye-Bank for Sight Restoration. 1961 Former Nazi official Adolf Eichmann was sentenced to death in Jerusalem by an Israeli court. He had been tried on charges for organizing the deportation of Jews to concentration camps. 1964 Canada's House of Commons approved a newly designed flag thereby dropping the Canadian "Red Ensign" flag. 1965 Two U.S. manned spacecraft, Gemini 6 and Gemini 7, maneuvered within 10 feet of each other while in orbit around the Earth. 1966 Walter Elias "Walt" Disney died in Los Angeles at the age of 65. 1970 The Soviet probe Venera 7 became the first spacecraft to land softly on the surface of Venus. The probe only survived the extreme heat and pressure for about 23 minutes and transmitted the first data received on Earth from the surface of another planet. 1973 J. Paul Getty III was found in southern Italy after being held captive for five months, during which his right ear was cut off and sent to a newspaper in Rome. 1978 U.S. President Carter announced he would grant diplomatic recognition to Communist China on New Year's Day and sever official relations with Taiwan. 1979 The former shah of Iran, Muhammad Riza Pahlavi, left the United States for Panama. He had gone to the U.S. for medical treatment on October 22, 1979. 1979 In a preliminary ruling, the International Court of Justice ordered Iran to release all hostages that had been taken at the U.S. embassy in Tehran on November 4, 1979. 1982 Gibraltar's frontier with Spain was opened to pedestrian use after 13 years. 1983 The last 80 U.S. combat soldiers in Grenada withdrew. It was just over seven weeks after the U.S.-led invasion of the Caribbean island. 1989 An uprising in Romania began as demonstrators gathered to prevent the arrest of the Reverend Laszlo Tokes, a dissident clergyman. 1992 IBM announced it would eliminate 25-thousand employees in the coming year. 1992 Bettino Craxi, the leader of Italy's Socialist Party, was informed that he was under investigation in a burgeoning corruption scandal in the northern city of Milan. 1992 El Salvador's government and leftist guerrilla leaders formally declared the end of the country's 12-year civil war. 1993 In Geneva, 117 countries completed the Uruguay Round of the General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade (GATT). The countries agreed on a reform package. 1993 The prime ministers of Britain and the Republic of Ireland (John Major and Albert Reynolds respectively) made the "Downing Street Declaration," stating the basis for trying to achieve peace in Northern Ireland. 1995 The U.N. Security Council authorized NATO to take over the peacekeeping operations in Bosnia. 1995 French rail workers voted to end a three-week-old strike. 1996 Boeing Co. announced plans to pay $13.3 billion to acquire rival aircraft manufacturer McDonnell Douglas Corp. 1999 Syria reopened peace talks with Israel in Washington, DC, with the mediation of U.S. President Clinton. 2000 The Chernobyl atomic power plant in Kiev, Ukraine, was shut down. 2000 New York Senator-elect Hillary Rodham Clinton agreed to accept an $8 million book deal with Simon & Schuster. The book was to be about her eight years in the White House. The advance was the highest ever to be paid to a member of the U.S. Congress. 2001 It was announced that Siena Heights University would begin offering a class called "Animated Philosophy and Religion." The two-credit class would cover how religion and philosophy are part of popular culture and is based on the television series "The Simpsons." 2010 The U.N. Security Council gave a vote of confidence to the government of Iraq when they lifted 19-year-old sanctions on weapons and civilian nuclear power. 2019 Do smiled. |
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