Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, May 20 _____________________________________________________ Today, May 20 in 1506 In Spain, Christopher Columbus died in poverty. 1927 Charles Lindbergh took off from New York to cross the Atlantic for Paris aboard his airplane the "Spirit of St. Louis." The trip took 33 1/2 hours. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: California car jacker and house invader pushed out and arrested  ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ A boy was smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air. A girl standing next to him got irritated with the smoke and said to the boy "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarette package, smoking may be bad for your health" ? The boy replied: "I am a software engineer. we don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors" _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ A wife is sitting in the living room watching TV, when all of a sudden she hears her husband in the bedroom, swearing up a storm. He is using every bad word in the book. The wife runs into the bedroom to see what is going on. She finds her husband just sitting on the bed. She asks her husband, "honey, what happened? Did you fall down and get hurt or something?" The husband looks up and replies, "no, I'm fine. I'm just practicing." The wife gets a real confused look on her face, and said, "practicing? Practicing for what?" Then the husband says, "The company golf tournament tomorrow!" ______________________________________________________`   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________   An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Charles Justus, 38, Visalia, California  California car jacker and house invader pushed out and arrested  
 A Visalia woman fought back and pushed a would-be carjacker out of her car Thursday, police report. The suspect, identified as Charles Justus, 38, was later arrested after he assaulted a 19-year-old man and forced his way into a home in the 2900 block of West Harvard Avenue. That victim also fought back, and was able to push Justus out the door, police said. Justus was booked on charges of carjacking, attempted kidnapping, robbery and burglary. None of the victims were injured.   From: Mary Re: Save to CD  Dear Webby OK I give up......I have been trying to figure out how to file to a CD. I have lots of recipes on my hard drive that I need to remove to another file (a CD). I have read the directions from the book that came with my computer....& I just can't figure out how to file to a CD. I have Outlook Express and Word XP on computer. There has got to be a simple easy way to do this. Can you help me? Mary in FL  Dear Mary First save those files to an easy to find location, for example a desktop folder. Then put a writable CD into the burner. After a few seconds a File Explorer window will open, showing you the CD. Squish that File explorer window to the side, so that you can see it, and the desktop folder with the recipes. Highlight the recipe folder, hold down CTRL, and drag it to the File Explorer window that shows the CD. Don't take the CD out yet! Right-click in the File Explorer window and select "Write these files to CD". They are just ready to be written, but not completely nailed down yet. At this stage you can still weed out stuff like thumbs.db and similar accidentally copied but not needed files. After you click on "Write these files to CD", it is too late. Then they are already burned onto the CD. Once the burning has been completed, the CD tray usually opens automatically. Have FUN! DearWebby  
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 A church had a man in the choir who couldn't sing. Several people hinted to him that he could serve in other places, but he continued to come to the choir. The choir director became desperate and went to the priest. "You've got to get that man out of the choir," he said. "If you don't, I'm going to resign. The choir members are going to quit too. Please do something." So the priest went to the man and suggested, "Perhaps you should leave the choir." "Why should I get out of the choir?" he asked. "Well, five or six people have told me you can't sing." That's nothing," the man snorted. "Fifty people have told me that you can't preach!" 
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 A busload of new recruits arrived at the reception center, and was greeted by an old drill sergeant. He began his speech: "Welcome to Fort Dix, men. >From now on, I want you to think of the Army as your family and as your home." Hearing this, one of the recruits broke formation, sat down and lit a cigarette. "Private, what on earth are you doing?" asked the sergeant. "Well," said the private, "I'm just making myself at home. Like you said, this is my home." Thinking fast, the sergeant said, "Son, you listen good, and you're right. This is your home. So, as soon as you finish that cigarette, I want you to report to the mess hall to help your mother with the dishes for the next two weeks." ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Ironing Tip: Scorched Clothing If you accidentally scorch a cotton shirt with an iron, you may be able to save it. Quickly put the shirt in ice cold water and let it soak overnight. Then treat the stain and wash as normal. thriftyfun.Com   ____________________________________________________   
  
18 hysterical photos from the Wildlife Comedy Photography Awards. 
 ___________________________________________________ Every morning for years, at about 11:30, the telephone operator in a small Sierra-Nevada town received a call from a man asking the exact time. One day the operator summed up nerve enough to ask him why the regularity. "I'm foreman of the local sawmill," he explained. "Every day I have to blow the whistle at noon so I call you to get the exact time." The operator giggled, "That's really funny," she said. "All this time we've been setting our clock by your whistle. ___________________________________________________ A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17." The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 The tiresome jury selection process continued, each side hotly contesting and dismissing potential jurors. Another man was called for his question session. "Property holder?" "Yes, I am, Your Honor." "Married or single?" "Married for twenty years, Your Honor." "Formed or expressed an opinion?" "Not in twenty years, Your Honor." On a Tennessee highway: "Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable." ___________________________________________________  
 Today May 20 in 0325 The Ecumenical council was inaugurated by Emperor Constantine in Nicea, Asia Minor. 1303 A peace treaty was signed between England and France over the town of Gascony. 1506 In Spain, Christopher Columbus died in poverty. 1520 Hernando Cortez defeated Spanish troops that had been sent to punish him in Mexico. 1674 John Sobieski became Poland's first King. 1774 Britain's Parliament passed the Coercive Acts to punish the American colonists for their increasingly anti-British behavior. It did not go over well. 1775 North Carolina became the first colony to declare its independence. This is the date that is on the George state flag even though the date of this event has been questioned. 1784 The Peace of Versailles ended a war between France, England, and Holland. 1830 The fountain pen was patented by H.D. Hyde. 1861 During the American Civil War, the capital of the Confederacy was moved from Montgomery, AL, to Richmond, VA. 1875 The International Bureau of Weights and Measures was established. 1899 Jacob German of New York City became the first driver to be arrested for speeding. The posted speed limit was 12 miles per hour. 1902 The U.S. military occupation of Cuba ended. 1902 Cuba gained its independence from Spain. 1926 The U.S. Congress passed the Air Commerce Act. The act gave the Department of Commerce the right to license pilots and planes. 1927 Charles Lindbergh took off from New York to cross the Atlantic for Paris aboard his airplane the "Spirit of St. Louis." The trip took 33 1/2 hours. 1930 The first airplane was catapulted from a dirigible. 1932 Amelia Earhart took off to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean. She was the first woman to be given a plane to try that. 1939 The first telecast over telephone wires was sent from Madison Square Garden to the NBC-TV studios at 30 Rockefeller Center in Manhattan. The event was a bicycle race. 1939 The first regular air-passenger service across the Atlantic Ocean began with the take-off of the "Yankee Clipper" from Port Washington, New York. 1941 Germany invaded Crete by air. 1942 Japan completed the conquest of Burma. 1949 DearWebby was born 1961 A white mob attacked the Freedom Riders in Montgomery, AL. The event prompted the federal government to send U.S. marshals. 1969 U.S. and South Vietnamese forces captured Apbia Mountain, which was referred to as Hamburger Hill. 1970 100,000 people marched in New York supporting U.S. policies in Vietnam. 1978 Mavis Hutchinson, at age 53, became the first woman to run across America. It took Hutchinson 69 days to run the 3,000 miles. 1980 The submarine Nautilus was designated as a National Historic Landmark by the U.S. Secretary of the Interior. 1985 The FBI arrested U.S. Navy Chief Petty Officer John Walker. Walker had begun spying for the Soviet Union in 1968. 1990 The Hubble Space Telescope sent back its first photographs. 1999 At Heritage High School in Conyers, GA, a 15-year-old student shot and injured six students. He then surrendered to an assistant principal at the school. 2010 Scientists announced that they had created a functional synthetic genome. 2010 Five paintings worth 100 million Euro were stolen from the Muse d'Art Moderne de la Ville de Paris 2019 Do smiled. 
 

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