Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, February 8 -30 and windy. No Gullible Warming yet. For tomorrow evening they predict -33 In May it should warm up nicely, I hope. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Clinton, Iowa pair arrested for selling Meth ___________________________________________________ Today, February 8 in 1985 "The Dukes of Hazzard" ended its 6-1/2 year run on CBS television. ____________________________________________________ Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest men in national government too. --- Richard M. Nixon (1913 - 1994) Whenever two people meet, there are really six people present. There is each man as he sees himself, each man as the other person sees him, and each man as he really is. --- William James (1842 - 1910) ____________________________________________________ The customer in the Italian restaurant was so pleased that he asked to speak to the chef. The owner proudly led him into the kitchen and introduced him to the chef. "Your veal parmigiana was superb," the customer said. "I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever had over there." "Naturally," the chef said. "Over there, they use domestic cheese. Ours is imported." ____________________________________________________ The veterinarian told Trisha that her dog needed some exercise. You need to make sure the dog runs around, the doctor said. Try playing a game of fetch the ball. "I can't play fetch with my dog," Trisha said. "Why not?" the doctor asked. "Because," she replied, "He can't throw." ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A man was driving down a local street one day in an open convertible and approached a stop sign. He barely slowed down and ran right through the stop sign after glancing for traffic. What the driver didn't know was that a cop was watching the intersection. The cop pulled out after him and stopped him 2 blocks away and asked him for his " License, registration and proof of insurance". The driver said: "Hey I wanna know exactly what I did wrong first?" The Officer responded "Please watch your tone of voice, you failed the stop sign back there!" The driver said: "Hey man, I slowed down enough, what the heck is the difference?" The police officer then pulled out his night stick and his long flashlight began bonking them over the mans head in a spirited drum solo. Within seconds the driver was howling: "Hey, man, stop that. Stop it. Stop, please!" The officer said " Now, do you want me to really stop, or just slow down a bit ?" __________________________________________________ Reported by the bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Murray Dee Henricks Jr., 23, Whitney Sue Joslin, 22, Clinton, Iowa, USA Clinton, Iowa pair arrested for selling Meth An investigation by the Blackhawk Area Task Force has led to the arrest of two Clinton residents on meth trafficking charges. Murray Dee Henricks Jr., 23, and Whitney Sue Joslin, 22, are charged with one count each of possession with the intent to distribute more than 5 grams of methamphetamine. The charge is a Class B felony under Iowa law that carries a prison sentence of 25 years. Henricks and Joslin also are charged with violating Iowas drug tax stamp law, a Class D felony that carries a prison sentence of five years. The pair was arrested Jan. 29. According to the arrest affidavits filed by an agent with the task force, at 2 p.m. on Aug. 26, agents with the Blackhawk Area Task Force conducted a controlled buy of suspected crystal methamphetamine from Henricks using a confidential source. The source had communicated with Henricks and had agreed to buy meth from Henricks. When the source arrived at Henricks residence, the source spoke with Henricks on the phone. Henricks told the source that he would send out a woman with the meth. Agents watched as Joslin gave the source, in exchange for cash, a clear plastic baggie that contained suspected methamphetamine. The suspected methamphetamine was sent to the Iowa Department of Public Safetys Division of Criminal Investigation crime lab for testing. The test returned positive for 9.03 grams of methamphetamine, and a warrant was issued Jan. 29 for the arrest of both Henricks and Joslin. Both Henricks and Joslin are scheduled to be arraigned on the charges Feb. 18 in Clinton County District Court. Henricks also is facing a charge of second-degree theft and second-degree criminal mischief. Clinton Police allege that Henricks attempted to steal a catalytic converter from a Dodge Ram pickup truck at 1:55 p.m. Jan. 28. The Ram was parked in the parking lot of Custom-Pak, a Clinton business. Henricks did not get the catalytic converter but is alleged to have caused $1,730.46 in damage to the Dodge. He also is charged with second-degree theft and second- degree criminal mischief for allegedly stealing a catalytic converter off a Ford F250 pickup truck sometime between the hours of 5:30 p.m. Jan. 26 and 2:30 p.m. Jan. 27, according to arrest affidavits. The cost to repair the Ford is between $4,000 and $5,000. The suspected methamphetamine was sent to the Iowa Department of Public Safetys Division of Criminal Investigation crime lab for testing. The test returned positive for 9.03 grams of methamphetamine, and a warrant was issued Jan. 29 for the arrest of both Henricks and Joslin. Both Henricks and Joslin are scheduled to be arraigned on the charges Feb. 18 in Clinton County District Court. Henricks also is facing a charge of second-degree theft and second-degree criminal mischief. Clinton Police allege that Henricks attempted to steal a catalytic converter from a Dodge Ram pickup truck at 1:55 p.m. Jan. 28. The Ram was parked in the parking lot of Custom-Pak, a Clinton business. Henricks did not get the catalytic converter but is alleged to have caused $1,730.46 in damage to the Dodge. He also is charged with second-degree theft and second- degree criminal mischief for allegedly stealing a catalytic converter off a Ford F250 pickup truck sometime between the hours of 5:30 p.m. Jan. 26 and 2:30 p.m. Jan. 27, according to arrest affidavits. The cost to repair the Ford is between $4,000 and $5,000. Second-degree theft and second-degree criminal mischief each are Class D felonies that carry a prison sentence of five years. Henricks currently is serving a term on probation until May 22, 2022, after he pleaded guilty in Clinton County District Court to a charge of possession with the intent to deliver less than 5 grams of methamphetamine. That charge is a Class C felony that carries a prison sentence of 10 years. Henricks, who was sentenced to three years on probation in the case on Dec. 6, 2018, could have his probation revoked and sentenced to 10 years in prison. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Kath Re: Save paper Dear Webby My paper expenses are getting out of hand, partly because I print out the instructions for most programs. Help! Kath Dear Kath Go to Blue Squirrel and get ClickBook. ClickBook turns your work into a book, brochure, catalog, bulleting, poster, banner or PDF. Easy to use! I have used it since the days of dot-matrix printers. It WORKS! Have Fun! DearWebby The golfer stood at the edge of the water and attempted to pitch the ball over it. It went in. A voice boomed out from above.... "USE AN OLD BALL". He dropped a new ball and put that one in the water. The voice again boomed out from above ....."USE AN OLD BALL". He proceeded to hit a half dozen brand new balls into the water. Each time the voice boomed out from above "USE AN OLD BALL". Finally he looked up and said "Where can I buy an old ball?" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each student in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them complete the saying. Here's what she came up with... Two's Company, Three's... The Musketeers. It's Always Darkest Before... Daylight Savings Time. Strike While The... Bug Is Close. Never Under Estimate The Power Of... Termites. You Can Lead A Horse To Water But... How? Better Be Safe Than... Punch A 5th Grader. Don't Bite The Hand That... Looks Dirty. No News Is... Impossible. A Miss Is As Good As A... Mister You Can't Teach An Old Dog New... Math. If You Lie Down With The Dogs, You'll... Stink In The Morning. Love All, Trust.. Me An Idle Mind Is... The Best Way To Relax. Where There's Smoke, There's... Pollution. Happy The Bride Who... Gets All The Presents! A Penny Saved Is... Not Much. The Pen Is Mightier Than The... Pigs. Don't Put Off Tomorrow What... You Put On To Go To Bed. Laugh And The Whole World Laughs With You, Cry And... You Have To Blow Your Nose. Children Should Be Seen And Not... Spanked Or Grounded. If At First You Don't Succeed... Get New Batteries. You Get Out Of Something What You... See Pictured On The Box. When The Blind Leadeth The Blind... Get Out Of The Way. ____________________________________________ A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of Bud and sits in the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Australia the other is in Dublin, and I'm in Texas. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we drank together. So I drink one for each of my brothers and one for myself." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss." The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church in Sweetwater and I had to quit drinking. Hasn't affected my brothers though." ____________________________________________ >From Yolanda I began thinking about my own mortality after I became a widow. One day my daughter called home from college, and I announced to her, "I think it's time for us to talk about where I would like to be buried." "It's way too soon to even think of anything like that," she snapped indignantly. Then there was a brief silence. "Wait a minute, did you say married or buried?" When I repeated buried, she said, "Oh, okay, sure." ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today February 8 in 1693 A charter was granted for the College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, VA. 1802 Simon Willard patented the banjo clock. 1861 The Confederate States of America was formed. 1861 A Cheyenne delegation and some Arapaho leaders accepted a new settlement (Treaty of Fort Wise) with the U.S. Federal government. The deal ceded most of their land but secured a 600-square mile reservation and annuity payments. 1900 In South Africa, British troops under Gen. Buller were beaten at Ladysmith. The British fled over the Tugela River. 1904 The Russo-Japanese War began with Japan attacking Russian forces in Manchuria. 1918 During World War I, "The Stars and Stripes" was published under orders from General John J. Pershing for the United States Army forces in France. It was published from February 8, 1918 to June 13, 1919. 1922 The White House began using radio after U.S. President Harding had it installed. 1952 Queen Elizabeth II ascended to the British throne. Her father, George VI, had died on February 6. 1963 The Kennedy administration prohibited travel to Cuba and made financial and commercial transactions with Cuba illegal for U.S. citizens. 1974 The three-man crew of the Skylab space station returned to Earth after 84 days. 1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter announced a plan to re- introduce draft registration. 1985 "The Dukes of Hazzard" ended its 6-1/2 year run on CBS television. 1993 General Motors sued NBC, alleging that "Dateline NBC" had rigged two car-truck crashes to show that some GM pickups were prone to fires after certain types of crashes. The suit was settled the following day by NBC. 2021 Do smiled. |
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