Good Morning, Do, Today is Wednesday, April 4 Happy 60th Anniversary, Norm! Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: NC woman named 'Beers' charged with DUI in Florida Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, April 4 in 1945 Hungary was liberated from Nazi alliance and occupied by Russia. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. --- Mike Myers There is no nonsense so gross that society will not, at some time, make a doctrine of it and defend it with every weapon of communal stupidity. --- Robertson Davies Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy." --- Albert Einstein _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two men who work in the same office are talking about their sons who are in their first year of college. "You know," says one, "my boy's letters nowadays always send me to the dictionary." "You're lucky," says the other. "My son's letters always send me to the bank." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Holy Ghost Orchid _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!" His wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here." _____________________________________________________ Yesterday's mugshot: Nicole Johnson An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jennifer Poelter Beers, 46, St Augustine beach, Floriduh NC woman named 'Beers' charged with DUI in Florida A North Carolina woman faces charges, including a DUI, after multiple hit-and-runs were reported Tuesday evening in St. Augustine Beach. The officer said he saw a woman, later identified as 46-year-old Jennifer Poelter Beers, driving southbound with no headlights on the intersection of the A1A Beach Boulevard and A Street intersection. The officer noted Beers making U-turns and appearing to be lost, the arrest report stated. The report said, that at one point, the driver made a U-turn into oncoming traffic. The officer noted Beers making U-turns and appearing to be lost, the arrest report stated. The report said, that at one point, the driver made a U-turn into oncoming traffic. Watch: Rare centuries-old ship washes ashore in Ponte Vedra Beach While making the U-turn, Beers nearly struck a fence at a public parking lot, the officer reported. The officer said he conducted a traffic stop and could smell alcohol on the the woman's breath. The officer also noted fresh damage on Beers' Infiniti G37, including damage on its front bumper, hood and passenger-side fender. An open beer can was seen in the back seat of the vehicle, and Beers' told the officer she had two beers that night, according to the arrest report. The officer then had received a call during the traffic stop with Beers about a hit-and-run in the area of 17 4th Street. The police department had in turn received a call from a witness about a silver vehicle that struck a parked, unattended car and left the scene. According to the arrest report, the complaint said the driver almost struck a pedestrian during the alleged hit-and-run. The officer later received information from St. Johns County dispatch that three hit-and-runs happened in the same area. The damage on Beers' vehicle matched the damage of the unattended vehicle, according to the arrest report. Beers was arrested and faces hit-and-run and DUI charges. Tech Support Pits From: Nellie Re: Saving during power failure Dear Webby Is it true that you should not try to save stuff while the electricity is failing? I have a few seconds on my UPS to bridge short blips, but was told not to frantically try to save anything, in case the blip turns into a longer outage. What's the real story? Nellie Dear Nellie That advice is absolutely correct. If you are trying to save a long document or large spreadsheet and the write power fizzles out while saving, you most likely trash that document, maybe even the hard drive. At best, you will be able to re-use the oldest parts of it, but you most likely will miss the newest ones. If your data is important to you, get a UPS that can run your machine for a few minutes and allow you to properly save and shut down. Otherwise just relax. It is better to lose the last two minutes than the entire hard drive. Naturally, you should set your Auto-Safe to 2 minutes. Have FUN DearWebby When I was visiting a friend who lived on the edge of a wilderness preserve, we drove along a rutted trail, and we saw a small creek ahead whose bridge was under water. "We have a serious beaver problem," our friend said. "They build dams that cause the creek to flood. Forest rangers take down the dams, and the beavers rebuild them." As we got closer, we could see a large scoreboard posted by the bridge. It read: BEAVERS 23 RANGERS 22 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was packed. The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license. He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, "I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture." The woman beside him peered over his shoulder, then reassured him, "It's okay. That's how you're going to look when the cops pull you over anyway." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A woman went to her dentist to have her dentures adjusted for the fifth time. She said they still didn't fit. "Well," said the dentist "I'll do it again this time, but no more. There's no reason why these shouldn't fit your mouth easily." "Who said anything about my mouth?" the woman answered."They don't fit in the glass!" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mixing Meatloaf and Other Sticky Things When mixing meat loaf or patting marshmallow candy into a pan, kneading pizza dough etc., I first spray my hands with non-stick cooking spray. It keeps the food from sticking and washes off easily with soap and water. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com Instead of the outrageusly expensive cooking spray I use regular cooking oil in an 80's Amway pistol grip window sprayer ____________________________________________________ An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take some of his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. "Here's $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me." At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, "I had only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 for a new baptistery." "Well, since we're confiding in each other," said the doctor, "I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000." The lawyer was aghast. "I'm ashamed of both of you," he exclaimed. "I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000." | Cirque du Soleil - Behind The Scenes |
___________________________________________________ Is the bank account for a girdle business called a truss fund? Or is that stretching it a bit? ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, April 4 in 0896 Formosus ended his reign as pope. 1541 Ignatius of Loyola became the first superior-general of the Jesuits. 1581 Francis Drake was knighted by Queen Elizabeth I. A few months earlier he became the first Englishman to circumnavigate the world. 1687 King James II ordered that his declaration of indulgence be read in church. 1812 The territory of Orleans became the 18th U.S. state and will become known as Louisiana. 1818 A plan was passsed by the U.S. Congress that the U.S. flag would have 13 red and white stripes and 20 stars and that a new star would be added for the each new state. 1841 U.S. President William Henry Harrison, at the age of 68, became the first president to die in office. He had been sworn in only a month before he died of pneumonia. 1850 The city of Los Angeles was incorporated. 1902 British Financier Cecil Rhodes left $10 million in his will that would provide scholarships for Americans to Oxford University in England. 1905 In Kangra, India, an earthquake killed 370,000 people. 1914 The first known serialized moving picture opened in New York City, NY. It was "The Perils of Pauline". 1917 The U.S. Senate voted 90-6 to enter World War I on the Allied side in order to boost the US economy. 1918 The Battle of Somme, an offensive by the British against the German Army ended. 1932 After five years of research, professor C.G. King, of the University of Pittsburgh, isolated vitamin C. 1945 Hungary was liberated from Nazi alliance and occupied by Russia. 1945 During World War II, U.S. forces liberated the Nazi death camp Ohrdruf in Germany. 1949 Twelve nations signed a treaty to create The North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). 1953 Fifteen doctors were released by Soviet leaders. The doctors had been arrested before Stalin had died and were accused of plotting against him. 1967 The U.S. lost its 500th plane over Vietnam. 1967 Johnny Carson quit "The Tonight Show." He returned three weeks later after getting a raise of $30,000 a week. 1968 Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated at the age of 39. 1969 Dr. Denton Cooley implanted the first temporary artificial heart. 1973 In New York, the original World Trade Center twin towers opened. At the time they were the tallest building in the world. 1975 More than 130 people, most of them children, were killed when a U.S. Air Force transport plane evacuating Vietnamese orphans crashed just after takeoff from Saigon. 1979 Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, the president of Pakistan, was executed. He had been convicted of conspiring to murder a political opponent. 1981 Henry Cisneros became the first Mexican-American elected mayor of a major U.S. city, which was San Antonio, TX. 1983 At Cape Canaveral, the space shuttle Challenger took off on its first flight. It was the sixth flight overall for the shuttle program. 1984 U.S. President Reagan proposed an international ban on chemical weapons. 1985 In Sudan, a coup ousted President Nimeiry and replaced him with General Dahab. 1986 Wayne Gretzky set an NHL record with his 213th point of the season. 1987 The U.S. charged the Soviet Union with wiretapping a U.S. Embassy. 1988 Arizona Governor Evan Mecham was voted out of office by the Arizona Senate. Mecham was found guilty of diverting state funds to his auto business and of trying to impede an investigation into a death threat to a grand jury witness. 1991 Pennsylvanian Senator John Heinz and six others were killed when a helicopter collided with Heinz's plane over a schoolyard in Merion, PA. 1992 Sali Berisha became the first non-Marxist president of Albania since World War II. 1994 Netscape Communications (Mosaic Communications) was founded. 2018 Do smiled. |
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