Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, February 20 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ 6 people lured through Tinder to Fresno locations, robbed at gunpoint ___________________________________________________ Today, February 20 in 1962 John Glenn made space history when he orbited the world three times in 4 hours, 55 minutes. He was the first American to orbit the Earth. He was aboard the Friendship 7 Mercury capsule. Glenn witnessed the Devil's Cigarette Lighter while in flight. ____________________________________________________ The most perfidious way of harming a cause consists of defending it deliberately with faulty arguments. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) ____________________________________________________ A passenger train is creeping along slowly through the plains of Alabama. Finally, it creaks to a complete halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walking by again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?" ____________________________________________________ *The End Of The World* When the end of the world arrives how will the media report it? USA Today: WE'RE DEAD The Wall Street Journal: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS National Enquirer: SHEEP MISSING ALL OVER WORLD Microsoft Systems Journal: APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE Sports Illustrated: GAME OVER Wired: THE LAST NEW THING Rolling Stone: THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR Readers Digest: BYE Discover Magazine: HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW THE COSMOS? TV Guide: DEATH AND DAMNATION: NIELSON RATINGS SOAR! Lady's Home Journal: LOSE 10 LBS. BY JUDGEMENT DAY WITH OUR NEW "ARMAGEDDON" DIET! America Online: SYSTEM TEMPORARILY DOWN. TRY CALLING BACK IN 1000 YEARS Inc. magazine: TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE Microsoft's Web Site: IF YOU DIDN'T EXPERIENCE THE RAPTURE, DOWNLOAD SOFTWARE PATCH RAPT777.EXE. IBM: ARMAGEDDON TOLERANT SOFTWARE NOW AVAILABLE! N.Y. Post: WHAASSSUP ? Boston Globe: STRONG N.E. WINDS PREDICTED Cuba Libre: TRUMP BLOWS UP WORLD Arizona Republic: TEMPERATURES EXPECTED TO HIT 1016 F TODAY ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A couple were relaxing after their first lovemaking session when the man asked his blonde girlfriend, "Honey, am I the first man you have ever slept with?" With an exasperated sigh, she replied, "Why does everybody always ask me that?!" __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Eric Newsome, 21, and a 17-year-old boy Fresno, California, USA 6 people lured through Tinder to Fresno locations, robbed at gunpoint They asked people they met on Tinder to come to specific locations where the group would lie in wait and rob the victims at gunpoint. Fresno Police have arrested two suspects for allegedly luring victims through the dating app Tinder, and then robbing them at gunpoint. The two arrested, 21-year-old Eric Newsome and a 17-year- old boy, were part of a group that carried out six armed robberies throughout Fresno between February 2 and February 15 this year, police say. They asked people they met on Tinder to come to specific locations where the group would lie in wait and rob the victims at gunpoint. Police say one victim was assaulted with a gun and sustained moderate injuries. Through interviews and video analysis detectives were able to identify the two suspects. They were taken into custody and a loaded handgun was recovered. Both have been charged with multiple robberies and other related charges. If you have any additional information, you are urged to contact Detectives Parvinder Dhillon (559) 621-2081 or Eric Hill (559) 621-2082. Fresno Police are also reminding people who want to meet others using social media platforms to choose to meet at public places or at one of the designated exchange zones at the five policing districts throughout the city. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Sue Re: Safe to vacuum computers Dear Webby Is it safe to vacuum around computers or will the static cause problems? Sue Dear Sue Yes, it is perfectly safe to vacuum around computers. They are grounded electrically and nowadays all inputs are shielded. Do NOT unplug them before vacuuming around or inside them. You should, however, turn them off before you begin vacuuming. The reason for that is that you might accidentally unplug some cables and that could cause the machine to crash. Depending on the environment they are in, desktop computers should be vacuumed out once per year, under-the-desk floor models should be opened and vacuumed out twice a year. 99% of computer cases are designed by fashion conscious morons who think it is a good idea to suck the dustballs and cathairs and whatever in through your computer's CD/DVD drive, let the dustballs get snagged on the heatsinks inside the case, and then blow the clean air out through the cheapest part of all, the power supply. DUH! So just open the computer and vacuum it out before the fuzzy dust blanket inside causes expensive parts to overheat and malfunction. All you have to remember is: Turn the computer OFF, but do NOT UNPLUG IT. Have FUN! DearWebby The boy asked his grandmother, "Grandma, when you and Grandpa had your first baby, did Grandpa ever get up and handle the middle-of-the-night feeding?" "No. I always did that." was the reply. After some serious deliberation, the boy said, "That must have been before you had women's liberation." Laughing the grandmother instructed, "No, it was before we had baby bottles." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first. "Al, what do you believe?" Al replies, "Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die." God thinks for a second and says "You are an idiot. Go to hell." God then addresses Bill. "Bill, what do you believe?" Bill replies, "Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain." God thinks for a second and says "Okay, kinda phony but that sounds good. Come and sit at my right." God then address Hillary. "Hillary, what do you believe?" "I believe you're in my chair." ____________________________________________ A really drunk man was walking along the street one day . He was staggering quite a bit and made two nuns that were approaching him, very nervous. The two nuns split apart and one walked to the man's left and one walked to the man's right. After the nuns were past the man, he turned around and said,"Now how in the hell did she do that"? ____________________________________________ Anni's car was in for service so her son picked Anni up from work one evening, and she seemed a bit irritated. Anni complained that the day hadn't gone well, and on top of everything else, a young customer had addressed her as "Ma'am." "I'm not that old! !!" Anni insisted. " I deserve more respect." Anni continued to vent the whole way home while hitting the scan button on the radio. Finally her son asked, " Mom what are you looking for?" Anni replied, "The oldies station." ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today February 20 in 1673 The first recorded wine auction took place in London. 1792 U.S. President George Washington signed the Postal Service Act that created the U.S. Post Office. 1809 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled the power of the federal government was greater than that of any individual state. That was later thrown out by Democrats. 1815 The USS Constitution, under Captain Charles Stewart fought the British ships Cyane and Levant. The Constitution captures both, but lost the Levant after encountering a British squadron. The Constitution and the Cyane returned to New York safely on May 15, 1815. The Cyane was purchased and became the USS Cyane. 1839 The U.S. Congress prohibited dueling in the District of Columbia. 1872 Luther Crowell received a patent for a machine that manufactured paper bags. 1872 Silas Noble and J.P. Cooley patented the toothpick manufacturing machine. 1901 The first territorial legislature of Hawaii convened. 1921 The motion picture "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" was released starring Rudolph Valentino. 1931 The U.S. Congress allowed California to build the Oakland Bay Bridge. 1933 The U.S. House of Representatives completed congressional action on the amendment to repeal Prohibition. 1944 "Big Week" began as U.S. bombers began destroying German aircraft manufacturing centers during World War II. 1958 Racing jockey Eddie Arcaro got win number 4,000, as he rode the winner at Santa Anita race track in Southern California. 1962 John Glenn made space history when he orbited the world three times in 4 hours, 55 minutes. He was the first American to orbit the Earth. He was aboard the Friendship 7 Mercury capsule. Glenn witnessed the Devil's Cigarette Lighter while in flight. 1965 Ranger 8 crashed on the moon after sending back thousands of pictures of its surface. 1987 A bomb exploded in a computer store in Salt Lake City, UT. The blast was blamed on the Unabomber. 1993 Two ten-year-old boys were charged by police in Liverpool, England, in the abduction and death of a toddler. The two boys were later convicted. 1998 American Tara Lipinski, at age 15, became the youngest gold medalist in winter Olympics history when she won the ladies' figure skating title at Nagano, Japan. 2001 FBI Agent Robert Phillip Hanssen was arrested and charged with spying for the Russians for 15 years. 2002 In Reqa Al-Gharbiya, Egypt, a fire raced through a train killing at least 370 people and injuring at least 65. 2003 In West Warwick, RI, 100 people were killed and more than 230 were injured when fire destroyed the nightclub The Station. The fire started with sparks from a pyrotechnic display being used by Jack Russel's Great White. Ty Longley, guitarist for the band, was one of the victims in the fire. 2008 The U.S. Navy destroyed an inoperable spy satellite with a missile from the USS Lake Erie. 2021 Do smiled. |
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