Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, Mat 17 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! _____________________________________________________ Today, May 17 in 1630 Italian Jesuit Niccolo Zucchi saw the belts on Jupiter's surface. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Facebook Pic of Police Car Gas-Siphoning Leads to Arrest ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Imagine what it would be like if TV actually were good. It would be the end of everything we know. --- Marvin Minsky _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ >From L One afternoon I was walking on a trail with my newborn baby, chatting to her about the scenery. When a man and his dog approached, I leaned into the carriage and said, "See the doggy?" Suddenly I felt the man would think I was foolish, talking to my baby as if she understood me. However, just as the man passed, he reached down, patted his dog, and said, "See the baby?" ______________________________________________________` _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michael Baker, 20, Jenkins, Kentucky Facebook Pic of Police Car Gas-Siphoning Leads to Arrest A Kentucky man landed in jail after posting a picture of himself on Facebook siphoning gas from a police car. The photo shows Michael Baker, 20, giving the camera the finger as he's in the process of swiping gas from a Jenkins Police Department squad car. Baker told local TV station WYMT that his girlfriend took the pic. Baker and his girlfriend Joann Sandelin told the station that the picture was meant as a joke. "We was just standing there and thought it would be funny to take a picture and then post it on Facebook," said Baker. "Yeah, we're sorry, but it was just a joke. I mean if we was going to steal gas, we wouldn't put it nationwide on Facebook. We don't steal anyway, but we're sorry," said Sandelin. Baker spent the night in jail for the offense. He was charged with theft by unlawful tanking. The Kentucky native isn't the first to be done in by a Facebook posting. Last month, a Washington state man, Alan Fulk, was charged with bigamy after his wife, Ellenora Fulk, saw a picture of the him getting married to another woman. Fulk had not divorced his first wife. From: Roland Re: Running programs on a removable drive Dear Webby I have given up on CD's, as you say you can only rewrite a few times, found that a Attach USB Drive is just what I need. Another question on this, could one down load QUICKEN on this and keep it off the main drive? Roland Dear Roland Yes, sure. Just select the E: drive as the drive to install it to. When it is plugged in, it acts just like any other hard drive. You can run almost any program on any drive. Because most viruses and trojans look for the Windows registry on the C: drive, I frequently partition the primary hard drive into C: and E:. Some programs need access to the Windows Registry to hide their serial number and pass codes, but the bulk of the program, and especially the data produced by it, can be on any drive. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. At an annual Bosses Night dinner for Helena, Montana, lawyers, sponsored by legal secretaries, it was time to announce the Boss of the Year. The master of ceremonies began: "First of all, our winner is a graduate of the University of Montana. So that already eliminates some of you as candidates." "Our winner also is a partner in a downtown Helena law firm. That eliminates some more of you. "Our nominee is honest, upright, dedicated..." A voice from the audience cut in: "Well, there go the rest of us!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A little girl asked her father, "How did the human race come about?" The father answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so all mankind was made." Two days later she asks her mother the same question. The mother answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys, and we developed from them." The confused girl returns to her father and says: "Dad, how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God and Mom says we developed from monkeys?" The Father answers, "That's simple, honey. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, and your mother told you about her side." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Clutter Control: Mail Always have your family bring in the mail to the same spot when they check it. For example, designate a basket that is only for unsorted mail. This will help prevent important mail from getting lost in the shuffle. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ At first it was funny. Whenever our mother played the piano, our poodle, Mollie, would sing along -- enthusiastically, in an earsplitting howl. We would all laugh, but after a while my dad couldn't take it any longer. "For Pete's sake," he begged, "play something the dog doesn't know." ___________________________________________________ My teenager was headed to school one morning when I told him that the neck tag on his shirt was hanging out. "I know," he replied. "It's a fad me and some of the guys started." Weeks later, as the style persisted, I commented, "I can't stand it! Every time I see that, I want to fix it for you." I gently tucked the tag in place and rumpled his hair. "Yeah," he said smiling slyly. "All the girls do, too." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Rod was meeting a friend at a singles bar, and as he went in, he noticed two pretty girls looking at him. "Nine," he heard one whisper as he passed. Feeling pleased with himself, he swaggered over to his waiting buddy and told him a girl had just rated him a nine! "I don't want to burst your bubble," his friend replied, "but when you came in, they were speaking German." ___________________________________________________ | Today May 17 in 1540 Afghan chief Sher Khan defeated Mongol Emperor Humayun at Kanauj. 1630 Italian Jesuit Niccolo Zucchi saw the belts on Jupiter's surface. 1681 Louis XIV sent an expedition to aid James II in Ireland. As a result, England declares war on France. 1756 Britain declared war on France, beginning the French and Indian War. 1792 The New York Stock Exchange was founded at 70 Wall Street by 24 brokers. 1814 Denmark ceded Norway to Sweden. Norway's constitution, which provided a limited monarchy, was signed. 1875 The first Kentucky Derby was run at Louisville, KY. 1877 The first telephone switchboard burglar alarm was installed by Edwin T. Holmes. 1940 Germany occupied Brussels, Belgium and began the invasion of France. 1946 U.S. President Truman seized control of the nation's railroads, delaying a threatened strike by engineers and trainmen. 1948 The Soviet Union recognized the new state of Israel. 1954 The U.S. Supreme Court unanimously ruled for school integration in Brown vs. Board of Education of Topeka. The ruling declared that racially segregated schools were inherently unequal. 1956 The first synthetic mica (synthamica) was offered for sale in Caldwell Township, NJ. 1975 NBC TV bought the rights to show "Gone With the Wind." The one time rights cost NBC $5,000,000. 1980 Rioting erupted in Miami's Liberty City neighborhood after an all-white jury in Tampa acquitted four former Miami police officers of fatally beating black insurance executive Arthur McDuffie. Eight people were killed in the rioting. 1987 An Iraqi warplane attacked the U.S. Navy frigate Stark in the Persian Gulf, killing 37 American sailors. Iraq and the United States called the attack a mistake. 1990 Kelsey Grammer was sentenced to 30 days in jail for DWI. 1996 U.S. President Clinton signed a measure requiring neighborhood notification when sex offenders move in. Megan's Law was named for 7-year-old Megan Kanka, who was raped and killed in 1994. 1997 Rebel leader Kabila declared himself president of the Democratic Republic of the Congo, formerly Zaire. 1997 Sylvester Stallone and Jennifer Flavin were married in London. 1999 Eric Ford, a tabloid photographer, was sentenced to 6 months at a halfway house, 3 years probation and 150 hours of community service. The sentence stemmed from a charge that Ford had eavesdropped on a call between Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman and then sold a recording of the conversation. 2000 Thomas E. Blanton Jr. and David Luker surrendered to police in Birmingham, AL. The two former Ku Klux Klan members were arrested on charges from the bombing of a church in 1963 that killed four young black girls. 2000 Austria, the U.S. and six other countries agreed on the broad outline of a plan that would compensate Nazi-Era forced labor. 2000 It was announced that Terra Networks SA and Lycos would be merging with the new name to be Terra Lycos. Terra made the deal happen with the purchase of $12.5 billion in stock. 2001 The U.S. Postal Service issued a stamp based on Charles M. Schulz's "Peanuts" comic strip. 2002 Legoland Deutschland opened in Gnzburg, Germany. 2006 The U.S. aircraft carrier Oriskany was sunk about 24 miles off Pensacola Beach. It was the first vessel sunk under a Navy program to dispose of old warships by turning them into diving attractions. It was the largest man-made reef at the time of the sinking. 2007 Trains crossed the border dividing North and South Korea for the first time since 1953. 2016 The U.S. Senate approved legislation that would allow families of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks to sue the government of Saudi Arabia. 2019 Do smiled. |
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