Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, February 23 Thank you, Richard!! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today, February 23, in 1886, Charles M. Hall completed his invention of aluminum. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award 79-year-old stabbed, carjacked by man in ski mask dies, suspect now charged with murder ___________________________________________________ Fervor is the weapon of choice for the impotent. --- Frantz Fanon "Everybody wants to be somebody; nobody wants to grow." --- Johann von Goethe ___________________________________________________ An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary. "Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig." The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago." ___________________________________________________ Frustrated at always being corrected by her husband, Gina decided the next time it happened, she would have a comeback. That moment finally arrived, and she was ready. "You know," she challenged, "even a broken clock is right once a day." Leroy looked at her and replied, "Twice a day." ____________________________________________________ Great Horned Owl couple ____________________________________________________ Captain - "How did you attain such proficiency in bayonet thrusting?" Private - "Reaching for steak at our boarding house." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christopher King, 32, Madison, Florida, USA 79-year-old stabbed, carjacked by man in ski mask dies, suspect now charged with murder A Florida man is facing first-degree murder charges after police say he stabbed a 79-year-old man to death outside a Haines City medical complex. According to police, 32-year-old Christopher Lynn King of Madison, Florida, was wearing a ski mask when he stabbed Manuel Goita three times in the stomach at the medical complex parking lot on Patterson Grove Road around 1:30 p.m. on Friday. Police say King took Goitia's keys and fled north on U.S. 27 in the victim's 2003 blue Toyota Matrix. Officers located the vehicle on U.S. 27 near Posner Park in unincorporated Davenport. After a short pursuit, deputies from the assisting Polk County Sheriff's Office utilized the pursuit intervention technique (PIT) to disable the vehicle and get it off the road. As the vehicle came to a rest facing southeast on the northbound side of FDC Grove Road, King got out of the car and began to run. However, despite his attempts to fight law enforcement, King was quickly apprehended. Goitia was flown to an area hospital where he underwent multiple surgeries and suffered multiple heart attacks resulting from complications of the stabbing. He was pronounced dead just after 1 p.m. on Sunday. "We mourn with the victim's family for this senseless murder," Chief Jim Elensky said. "We will work to provide the strongest case possible in collaboration with the State Attorney's Office to prosecute this killer to the fullest extent of the law." In addition to first-degree murder, King has been charged with aggravated battery on a victim 65 or over, armed robbery, grand theft auto, carrying a concealed weapon, fleeing to elude, driving without a valid license, resisting arrest with and without violence, wearing a mask in the commission of a felony and battery on a law enforcement officer. He was also issued multiple traffic citations. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Brenda Re: Road map Dear Webby What is the best road map program nowadays? I used to use Mapquest, but then we got a car with GPS, and I forgot all about Mapquest. The current car doesn't have GPS. So I am stuck. Brenda Dear Brenda Mapquest.com still exists. There have been some changes, not all for the better, but it still works. Since you still remember mapquest, you might as well stay with that. Another popular one is Google.com/maps Forget Google Earth and "driving" your route, like we did in the 90's. It is now a dead, stationary map. Have FUN! DearWebby Junior was one of those holy terrors and dad was quite surprised when his wife suggested that they buy him a bike for his birthday. "Do you really believe that'll help improve his behavior ?" he asked. "Well, yes," she said, "it will be a lot more peaceful INSIDE the house." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Q. The truth of the matter is that you are not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it. You too were shot in the fracas? A. No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel. ______________________________________________ A pretty lady was visiting the new doctor in town for the first time. She found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in. Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation. "Miss Jones," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that you are used to the complete eye examination, not just the short one I had scheduled you for. I better cancel all other appointments for the rest of the afternoon." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A middle-aged executive was becoming increasingly irritated by the constant ribbing he was taking from the junior employees who couldn't resist making fun of his baldness. One morning, a particularly brash trainee had the gall to run his hand across the older man's pate while loudly exclaiming: "Feels just like my wife's butt." With a look of genuine curiosity, the aging exec also felt his gleaming head. "You're right," he said, "it does! She sure does have a smooth one." ___________________________________________________ | Today, February 23, in 1574, France began the 5th holy war against the Huguenots. 1660, Charles XI became the king of Sweden. 1792, The Humane Society of Massachusetts was incorporated. 1813, The first U.S. raw cotton-to-cloth mill was founded in Waltham, MA. 1820, The Cato Street conspiracy was uncovered. 1821, The Philadelphia College of Apothecaries established the first pharmacy college. 1822, Boston was incorporated as a city. 1836, In San Antonio, TX, the siege of the Alamo began. 1839, In Boston, MA, William F. Harnden organized the first express service between Boston and New York City. It was the first express service in the U.S. 1847, Santa Anna was defeated at the Battle of Buena Vista in Mexico by U.S. troops under Gen. Zachary. 1861, U.S. President-elect Abraham Lincoln arrived secretly in Washington to take his office after an assassination attempt in Baltimore. 1861, Texas became the 7th state to secede from the Union. 1870, The state of Mississippi was readmitted to the Union. 1874, Walter Winfield patented a game called "sphairistike." More widely known as lawn tennis. 1875, J. Palisa discovered asteroid #143 (aka Adria). 1883, Alabama became the first U.S. state to enact an antitrust law. 1886, Charles M. Hall completed his invention of aluminum. 1887, The French/Italian Riviera was hit by an earthquake that killed about 2,000. 1896, The Tootsie Roll was introduced by Leo Hirshfield. 1898, In France, Emile Zola was imprisoned for his letter, "J'accuse," which accused the government of anti-Semitism and wrongly jailing Alfred Dreyfus. 1900, The Battle of Hart's Hill took place in South Africa between the Boers and the British army. 1904, The U.S. acquired control of the Panama Canal Zone for $10 million. 1905, The Rotary Club was founded in Chicago, IL, by Attorney Paul Harris and three others. 1910, In Philadelphia, PA, the first radio contest was held. 1915, Nevada began enforcing convenient divorce law. 1916, The U.S. Congress authorizes the McKinley Memorial $1 gold coin. 1919, The Fascist Party was formed in Italy by Benito Mussolini. 1927, The Federal Radio Commission began assigning frequencies, hours of operation and power allocations for radio broadcasters. On July 1, 1934 the name was changed to the Federal Communications Commission (FCC). 1932, Robert Short became the first American to die in an arial battle with the Japanese. (more info) 1940, Russian troops conquered Lasi Island. 1940, Walt Disney's animated movie "Pinocchio" was released. 1945, The 28th Regiment of the Fifth Marine Division of the U.S. Marines reached the top of Mount Surabachi. A photograph of these Marines raising the American flag was taken. 1954, The first mass vaccination of children against polio began in Pittsburgh, PA. 1955, The French government was formed by Edgar Faure. 1957, The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the NFL operations did fall within coverage of antitrust laws. 1958, Juan Fangio, 5-time world diving champion, was kidnapped by Cuban rebels. 1963, The 24th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. It prohibited poll taxes in federal elections. 1966, The Bitar government in Syria was ended with a military coup. 1970, Guyana became a republic. 1974, The Symbionese Liberation Army demanded $4 million more for the release of Patty Hearst. Hearst had been kidnapped on February 4th. 1980, Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini declared that Iran's new parliament would have to decide the fate of the hostages taken on November 4, 1979, at the U.S. embassy in Tehran. 1991, During the Persian Gulf War, ground forces crossed the border of Saudi Arabia into the country of Iraq. Less than four days later the war was over due to the surrender or withdraw of Iraqi forces. 1993, Gary Coleman won a $1,280,000 lawsuit against his parents. 1997, NBC-TV aired "Schindler's List." It was completely uncensored. 1997, Ali Hassan Abu Kamal, a Palestinian teacher, opened fire on the 86th-floor observation deck of New York City's Empire State Building. He killed one person and wounded six more before killing himself. 1998, In central Florida, tornadoes killed 42 people and damaged and/or destroyed about 2,600 homes and businesses. 1999, In Ankara, Turkey, Abdullah Ocalan was charged with treason. The prosecutors were seeking the death penalty for the Kurdish rebel leader. 1999, White supremacist John William King was found guilty of kidnapping and murdering James Byrd Jr. Byrd was dragged behind a truck for two miles on a country road in Texas. 2000, Robby Knievel made a successful motorcycle jump of 200 feet over an oncoming train. 2005, The New York, NY, city medical examiner's office annouced that it had exhausted all efforts to identify the remains of the people killed at the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001, due to the limits of DNA technology. About 1,600 people had been identified leaving more than 1,100 unidentified. 2021 Do smiled. |
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