Good Morning, Do, Today is Sunday, January 14 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: British teenager bought bomb off dark web to kill parents 'because they didn't like his girlfriend' Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, January 14 in 1878 Alexander Graham Bell demonstrated the telephone for Britain's Queen Victoria. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. --- Simon Cameron (1799 - 1889) (Not like McCain) Every man is wise when attacked by a mad dog; fewer when pursued by a mad woman; only the wisest survive when attacked by a mad notion. --- Robertson Davies ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity. He called them into his shop and said, "I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer." He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel. They, as can be expected, gladly accepted, and were on their way. About a month later the little lady came in to his shop. "And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly. "The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you. But, one thing puzzled me. Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?" ____________________________________________________ Judy was speeding and an officer pulled her to the side of the road. She didn't have her seat belt on so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window. After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?" "Yes, I do, officer," she replied. "Well," asked the officer, "do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Angkor Wat Cambodia _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ A noted psychiatrist was a guest at an artists gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "What sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' The hostess thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history...." _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Gurtej Randhawa, 19, Birmingham, England British teenager bought bomb off dark web to kill parents 'because they didn't like his girlfriend' Gurtej Randhawa, 19, was arrested after he took delivery of what he believed was a remotely detonated explosive in May last year. But officers had replaced the package with a dummy device before it was delivered. A court heard Randhawa was planning to murder his parents after his mum discovered he was in a relationship with a girl she disapproved of. Fearing his parents would try to end the relationship, the teen hatched a plot to save losing his girlfriend. Gurtej Randhawa, 19, was seen collecting a package he believed were explosives he bought from the dark web. The National Crime Agency's Armed Operations Unit arrested him after seeing him test the device. Randhawa pleaded guilty to attempting to import explosives and in November, he was found guilty of maliciously possessing an explosive substance with intent to cause serious injury. He was jailed for eight years at Birmingham Crown Court yesterday. Tim Gregory, from the NCA's Armed Operations Unit, said: 'The explosive device Randhawa sought to purchase online had the potential to cause serious damage and kill many people if he had been successful in using it. 'He was not involved in an organised crime group or linked to terrorism, but his actions show he is someone who poses a significant risk to the community.' Andy Young, from the CPS International Justice and Organised Crime Division, said: 'Randhawa denied he planned to use the explosives to cause injury but the CPS demonstrated to the jury that this was a lie and Randhawa was observed attempting to test his device before being arrested. 'Randhawa had used the dark web in an attempt to avoid detection but instead he is now serving a significant prison sentence.' _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Leo Re: Step Skype back to before last update Dear Webby, Skype somehow managed to sneak in an unauthorized update, and it is a POS. Aside from making it klutzier and more space consuming, like all their updates do, it craps out frequently, and it uses more resources. How do I go back to previous versions? Leo Dear Leo Keep in mind, making those unwanted updates keeps huge herds of Microsoft employees off Welfare, and they don't like it when you dump their updates. They make it sound like you are going to lose everything, including that chocolate bar at the bottom of the computer case. Don't worry. The history and the addresses are safely up on the cloud. I have done it, and did not loose anything. The first step is to UNinstall Skype. Control Panel, Programs, Uninstall, Skype. Ignore the scary warnings by the Microsoft inmates, who want you to use the thilly new version. Just UNinstall the flakey new version. Then go to http://OldVersion.com or any of the sites, that have old versions, select a version you want, and download it. If you use Skype for business purposes, on the side of open spreadsheets or documents, then you might prefer a 6.x version, from before the hated bloating started. Version 7.16 is not as compact, but not as bloated as the current version, and unlike the current version, it is stable and does not suicide every few hours. It is also a lot easier on the resources. Oldversion.com is frequently VERY busy, and you might have to wait a few minutes. Take that as a sign of how valuable they are, and just go get some coffee. Once you have downloaded the file, run it. When Skype comes up, it will have found your user name and password and put your 5000 contacts in, ready to run. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Thanks to Cookie for this story: The homeowner got into his grubbiest clothes on Saturday morning and set about all the chores he'd been putting off for weeks. He'd cleaned the garage, pruned the hedge, and was halfway through mowing the lawn when a woman pulled in the driveway and yelled out her window, "Say, what do you get for yard work?" The fellow thought for a minute, then answered, "The cute lady who lives here lets me sleep with her." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave me the wrong change!" Cashier: "Sir, you stepped away from the counter. We don't make corrections after you leave. There's nothing I can do about it now. That's the policy of this bank !" Customer: "Well, okay. Just thought you'd like to know that you gave me hundred dollars too much. Bye. " ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Grocery Bags for Cleaning the Litter Box If you use scoop-able cat litter, the bags you get at grocery stores work great for disposing of the litter. Just keep some near the litter box. Tie the bag handles together before throwing away and it will help cut down on odors in your garbage can. ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Cookie for more phone fun: Leola Starling of Ribrock, Tenn., had a serious telephone problem. But unlike most people she did something about it. The brand-new $10 million Ribrock Plaza Motel opened nearby and had acquired almost the same telephone number as Leola. From the moment the motel opened, Leola was besieged by calls not for her. Since she had the same phone number for years, she felt that she had a case to persuade the motel management to change its number. Naturally, the management refused, claiming that it could not change its stationery. The phone company was not helpful, either. A number was a number, and just because a customer was getting someone else's calls 24 hours a day didn't make it responsible. After her pleas fell on deaf ears, Leola decided to take matters into her own hands. At 9 o'clock the phone rang. Someone from Memphis was calling the motel and asked for a room for the following Tuesday. Leoloa said, "No problem. How many nights?" A few hours later Dallas checked in. A secretary wanted a suite with two bedrooms for a week. Emboldened, Leola said the Presidential Suite on the 10th floor was available for $600 a night. The secretary said that she would take it and asked if the hotel wanted a deposit. "No, that won't be necessary," Leola said. "We trust you." The next day was a busy one for Leola. In the morning, she booked an electric appliance manufacturers' convention for Memorial Day weekend, a college prom and a reunion of the 82nd Airborne veterans from World War II. She turned on her answering machine during lunchtime so that she could watch the Oprah, but her biggest challenge came in the afternoon when a mother called to book the ballroom for her daughter's wedding in June. Leola assured the woman that it would be no problem and asked if she would be providing the flowers or did she want the hotel to take care of it. The mother said that she would prefer the hotel to handle the floral arrangements. Then the question of valet parking came up. Once again Leola was helpful. "There's no charge for valet parking, but we always recommend that the client tips the drivers." Within a few months, the Ribrock Plaza Motel was a disaster area. People kept showing up for weddings, bar mitzvahs, and Sweet Sixteen parties and were all told there were no such events. Leola had her final revenge when she read in the local paper that the motel might go bankrupt. Her phone rang, and an executive from Marriott said, "We're prepared to offer you $200,000 for the motel." | | 34th Harbin International Ice and Snow Festival |
A man traveling in southern Indiana was headed for the Kentucky border ...when he saw a large sign, , , , "LAST CHANCE FOR $3.25 GAS!!!" He still had more than a quarter of a tank left, but figured he'd better take advantage of this opportunity to fill-up his tank. As he was getting his change from the attendant, he asked, "How much is gas in Kentucky?" The attendant replied, " $3.10 ". ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, January 14, in 1639 Connecticut's first constitution, the "Fundamental Orders," was adopted. 1784 The United States ratified a peace treaty with England ending the Revolutionary War. 1858 French emperor Napoleon III escaped an attempt on his life. 1873 John Hyatt's 1869 invention 'Celluloid' was registered as a trademark. 1878 Alexander Graham Bell demonstrated the telephone for Britain's Queen Victoria. 1907 An earthquake killed over 1,000 people in Kingston, Jamaica. 1943 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt became the first U.S. President to fly in an airplane while in office. He flew from Miami, FL, to French Morocco where he met with British Prime Minister Winston Churchill to discuss World War II. 1953 Josip Broz Tito was elected president of Yugoslavia by the country's Parliament. 1954 Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio were married. The marriage lasted nine months. 1954 The Hudson Motor Car Company merged with Nash-Kelvinator. The new company was called the American Motors Corporation. 1969 An explosion aboard the U.S. aircraft carrier Enterprise off Hawaii killed 25 crew members. 1985 Martina Navratilova won her 100th tournament. She joined Jimmy Connors and Chris Evert Lloyd as the only professional tennis players to win 100 tournaments. 1986 "Rambo: First Blood, Part II" arrived at video stores. It broke the record set by "Ghostbusters", for first day orders. 435,000 copies of the video were sold. 1993 The British government pledged to introduce legislation to criminalize invasions of privacy by the press. 1994 U.S. President Clinton and Russian President Boris Yeltsin signed Kremlin accords to stop aiming missiles at any nation and to dismantle the nuclear arsenal of Ukraine. 1996 Juan Garcia Abrego was arrested by Mexican agents. The alleged drug lord was handed over to the FBI the next day. 1998 Whitewater prosecutors questioned Hillary Rodham Clinton at the White House for 10 minutes about the gathering of FBI background files on past Republican political appointees. 1998 In Dallas, researchers report an enzyme that slows the aging process and cell death. 1999 The impeachment trial of U.S. President Clinton began in Washington, DC. 1999 The U.S. proposed the lifting of the U.N. ceilings on the sale of oil in Iraq. The restriction being that the money be used to buy medicine and food for the Iraqi people. 2000 A U.N. tribunal sentenced five Bosnian Croats to up to 25 years for the 1993 massacre of over 100 Muslims in a Bosnian village. 2004 In St. Louis, a Lewis and Clark Exhibition opened at the Missouri History Museum. The exhibit featured 500 rare and priceless objects used by the Corps of Discovery. 2005 A probe, from the Cassini-Huygens mission, sent back pictures during and after landing on Saturn's moon Titan. The mission was launched on October 15, 1997. 2018 Do smiled. |
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