Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, March 6 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! _________________________________ Today in March 6, in 1960, Switzerland granted women the right to vote in municipal elections. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award NM Road Rage Triggered By Pro-Vax Sticker ___________________________________________________ We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong. --- Bill Vaughan Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) ___________________________________________________ A lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. While she was waiting for her date, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, she turns to the waiter and demands "Stop That!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Sure lady, which way did you fire it ?" ___________________________________________________ A preacher wanted to mail a letter home when he arrived in this small town where he was to to preach a sermon. He asked a young boy where the post office was. When the boy told him, he thanked him and said, "If you'll come to the Baptist church this evening, you can hear me telling everyone how to get to Heaven." "Huh! the boy huffed, "You don't even know your way to the post office." ____________________________________________________ Mirekis https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEphsKl1g9M ____________________________________________________ A kid walked up to a guy wearing a 10-gallon hat, leather vest, leather chaps, and sneakers. The kid asked him, "Mr. Cowboy, why do you wear that big hat?" The cowboy replied, "Well, son, the big hat protects me from hot sun and driving rain, and at night I put it over my face when I sleep on the range, so it protects me then, too." "Why do you wear that leather vest?" "It also helps to keep the weather off me, and it has pockets where I can keep my cigarettes and matches." "Well, why do you wear leather chaps?" "They protect my legs when I'm riding my horse through rough bushes." "Well, Mr. Cowboy," the kid finally asked, "Why do you wear sneakers instead of cowboy boots ?" "That's so people won't think I'm a truck driver." ____________________________________________________ The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?" Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?" "Yes", whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No." Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" "Yes", "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "No". Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked the child. "Yes" whispered the child, "A policeman". Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked "May I speak with the policeman"? "No, he's busy", whispered the child. "Busy doing what?, asked the boss. "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer. Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?" "A hello-copper", answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?", asked the boss, now alarmed. In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper in the sandbox!" Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked, "Why are they there"? Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: "They're looking for me." __________________________________________________ A salesman from New York traveling in Kansas left his snazzy rental car out in a hail storm. When the storm was over he checked the car and found out it was covered with small dents. He went to the local garage and inquired how he could fix the problem himself. The mechanic told him to blow on the tailpipe and the dents would pop out again. He took the car to the motel where he was staying, parked it and proceeded to blow on the tailpipe. A local came by and inquired what he was doing. He explained that he was blowing on the tailpipe to remove the dents. The local responded, "That's not gonna to work, not unless you put some silicone on the glass and roll up the windows real tight first." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christina Blair, 33, Albuquerque, USA NM Road Rage Triggered By Pro-Vax Sticker A New Mexico woman became so incensed by a pro-vaccination bumper sticker on another motorists car that she threw a water bottle at the vehicle before pulling a gun on the other driver, investigators allege. According to police, the road rage incident began Sunday afternoon when Christina Blair, 33, began yelling obscenities and honking her horn at Gabriel Chavez as the pairs vehicles traveled on an Albuquerque road. Blair, cops say, was angered by a Vaccinated bumper sticker on Chavezs car. Chavez, according to a criminal complaint, told police that he gestured for Blair to drive around him, but she proceeded to follow him to an intersection. While at a red light, Blair threw something at his vehicle. Concerned that the confrontation was becoming more aggressive, a frightened Chavez sought to drive away from the situation, a patrolman noted. But Chavez then accidentally backed into Blairs car, prompting him to pull into the parking lot of a nearby Walgreens to exchange insurance information. An extremely irate Blair, cops say, retrieved a handgun from her car and racked the weapon. A video provided by Chavez to police showed Blair reach into her vehicle and produce a weapon, the complaint charges. An investigator added that Blair--who was standing six feet from Chavez--appeared to run the slide and make the gun ready for live fire. When Blair produced the weapon, Chavez called 911 in fear that she was going to shoot him. Since Chavezs video recorded Blairs license plate number, officers were able to track her to an Albuquerque residence. After being read her rights, Blair reportedly said she honked her horn at Chavez after spotting his Vaccinated bumper sticker, and later threw an empty water bottle at his auto. Asked about brandishing her gun, Blair claimed that she became fearful of Chavez. Police, however, concluded that Blair did have an opportunity to leave the area in her vehicle, but instead overtly reached into her vehicle and retrieved a handgun, threatening Gabriel with the firearm. Pictured above, Blair was arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and booked into the Bernalillo County jail on the felony charge. She is locked up in advance of a March detention hearing sought by prosecutors who described Blair as a dangerous person whose actions show that she has no regard for the safety of others. Blair, prosecutors noted, was convicted in 2007 of aggravated assault and tampering with evidence, while her 4 Juvenile contacts were All violent in nature. Blair told investigators that she works as a salesperson at a Dodge dealership in Albuquerque ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Dr Moe Re: Undeleter Dear Webby They have a free version for home users. Real UNdeleter> In addition to the free Home version functionality, R-UNDELETE recovers lost files from NTFS, NTFS5 (created or updated by Win2000/XP/2003/Vista/2008/2012/2016/2019/Win7/Win8/Win10) and ReFS/ReFS2+ (Resilient File System, Windows 2012/2016/2019 Server) disks. If for any reason you would like to switch the R-UNDELETE license to our professional data recovery tool R- STUDIO, you can upgrade it to R-STUDIO for the initial price difference. Dear Dr Moe There are some people out there who never need a real UNdeleter, but there are a lot more, who occasionally need a real undeleter. You just made their day! Have FUN! DearWebby While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and shovel for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock", the man replied. "How's it work?" the friend asked. "Watch", the man said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering whack with the shovel. Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall "KNOCK IT OFF, YOU IDIOT! It's two fourty five in the morning!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ He loved working on Staten Island, but he wasn't crazy about the ferry. Miss a ferry late at night, and you have to spend the next hour or so wandering the streets of lower Manhattan. So when he spotted a ferry no more than fifteen feet from the dock, he decided he wouldn't subject himself to an hour's wait. He made a running leap and landed on his hands and knees, a little bruised maybe, but safely on deck. He got up, brushed himself off, and announced proudly to a bystander, "Well, I made that one, didn't I?' "Sure did," the bystander said. "But you should have waited a minute or two. The ferry is just about to dock." ______________________________________________ Do had been misbehaving and was sent to bed. After a while Do emerged and informed mother that Do had thought it over and then said a prayer. "Fine", said the pleased mother. "If you ask God to help you about your misbehaving, He will help you." "Oh, I don't need help with misbehavin' ", said Do. "I asked Him to help me not to get caught quite so much." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
"Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation. It is better be alone than in bad company." --- George Washington ___________________________________________________ | Today, March 6, in 1521, Ferdinand Magellan discovered Guam. 1820, The Missouri Compromise was enacted by the U.S. Congress and signed by U.S. President James Monroe. The act admitted Missouri into the Union as a slave state, but prohibited slavery in the rest of the northern Louisiana Purchase territory. 1834, The city of York in Upper Canada was incorporated as Toronto. 1836, The thirteen-day siege of the Alamo by Santa Anna and his army ended. The Mexican army of three thousand men defeated the 189 Texas volunteers. 1854, At the Washington Monument, several men stole the Pope's Stone from the lapidarium. 1857, The U.S. Supreme Court's Dred Scott decision ruled that blacks could not sue in federal court to be citizens. 1886, "The Nightingale" was first published. It was the first magazine for nurses. 1899, Aspirin was patented by German researchers Felix Hoffman and Hermann Dreser. 1900, In West Virginia, an explosion trapped 50 coal miners underground. 1901, An assassin tried to kill Wilhelm II of Germany in Bremen. 1907, British creditors of the Dominican Republic claimed that the U.S. had failed to collect debts. 1928, A Communist attack on Peking, China resulted in 3,000 dead and 50,000 fled to Swatow. 1939, In Spain, Jose Miaja took over the Madrid government after a military coup and vowed to seek "peace with honor." 1944, During World War II, U.S. heavy bombers began the first American raid on Berlin. Allied planes dropped 2000 tons of bombs. 1946, Ho Chi Minh, the President of Vietnam, struck an agreement with France that recognized his country as an autonomous state within the Indochinese Federation and the French Union. 1947, Winston Churchill announced that he opposed British troop withdrawals from India. 1947, The first air-conditioned naval ship, "The Newport News," was launched from Newport News, VA. 1957, The British African colonies of the Gold Coast and Togoland became the independent state of Ghana. 1960, Switzerland granted women the right to vote in municipal elections. 1960, The United States announced that it would send 3,500 troops to Vietnam. 1967, U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson announced his plan to establish a draft lottery. 1970, Charles Manson released his album "Lies" to finance his defense against murder charges. 1973, U.S. President Richard Nixon imposed price controls on oil and gas. 1975, Iran and Iraq announced that they had settled their border dispute. 1980, Islamic militants in Tehran said that they would turn over American hostages to the Revolutionary Council. 1981, U.S. President Reagan announced a plan to cut 37,000 federal jobs. 1985, Yul Brynner played his his 4,500th performance in the musical "The King and I." 1987, The British ferry Herald of Free Enterprise capsized in the Channel off the coast of Belgium. 189 people died. 1990, The Russian Parliament passed a law that sanctioned the ownership of private property. 1991, In Paris, five men were jailed for plotting to smuggle Libyan arms to the Irish Republican Army. 1992, The computer virus "Michelangelo" went into effect. 1997, A gunman stole "Tete de Femme," a million-dollar Picasso portrait, from a London gallery. The painting was recovered a week later. 1997, Britain's Queen Elizabeth II launched the first official royal Web site. 1998, A Connecticut state lottery accountant gunned down three supervisors and the lottery chief before killing himself. 2015, The NASA space probe Dawn entered orbit around the protoplanet Ceres in the asteroid belt. 2022 Do smiled. |
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