Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, June 17 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Healthcare Fraudster Tries To Flee Florida On Jet Ski ___________________________________________________ History on this day, June 15, in 1917, The Russian Duma met in a secret session in Petrograd and voted for an immediate Russian offensive against the German Army. (World War I) ___________________________________________________ It is better wither to be silent, or to say things of more value than silence. Sooner throw a pearl at hazard than an idle or useless word; and do not say a little in many words, but a great deal in a few. --- Pythagoras (582 BC - 507 BC) Nature abhors a vacuum, but not as much as cats do. --- Lee Entrekin ___________________________________________________ An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he would crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that would sober him up. Once outside, he stood up and fell on his face again. So, he decided to crawl the four blocks home. When he arrived at his door, he stood up and fell flat on his face again. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into the bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "SO YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN!" Putting on an innocent look, and intent on bluffing it out he said, "What makes you say that?" "The pub just called. You left your wheelchair there again." ___________________________________________________ A man is laying on the operating table, about to be operated on by his son in law, the surgeon. The father says, "Son, think of it this way ... If anything happens to me, your wife's mother is coming to live with you." ___________________________________________________ >Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ernesto Cruz Graveran, In Jail, Florida, USA Healthcare Fraudster Tries To Flee Florida On Jet Ski A man facing federal charges for alleged Medicare fraud attempted to flee Florida on a jet ski, only to be apprehended as he left Key West and headed towards Cuba. A federal judge in Miami ordered that a Hialeah resident who allegedly submitted more than $4 million in fraudulent health care claims to Medicare be detained pending trial, after the defendant was arrested on board a jet ski headed south from Key West toward Cuba. According to allegations in the criminal complaint, from February through April, 54-year-old Ernesto Cruz Graveran owned Xiko Enterprises, Inc., a Florida corporation which purported to provide durable medical equipment (DME) to eligible Medicare beneficiaries. The complaint alleges that Xiko, in only a two-month period in 2022, submitted approximately $4.2 million in fraudulent health care claims to Medicare for DME that Xiko never provided, and that Medicare beneficiaries never requested. As a result, Medicare paid Xiko over $2.1 million. For example, according to the claims that Xiko submitted to Medicare, one physician purportedly prescribed DME from Xiko for approximately 145 Medicare beneficiaries, and Xiko billed Medicare over $1 million for DME referred by this one physician. But, according to the complaint, none of those 145 beneficiaries were in fact patients of that physician, and that physician never prescribed any of the billed-for DME. The government alleged in court that the U.S. Coast Guard and U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers located Graveran aboard a broken-down jet ski in the waters south of Key West, headed in the direction of Cuba, roughly 90 miles away. Graveran was aboard the jet ski along with one other individual, who was known to law enforcement to be an alien smuggler. The jet ski was outfitted with a special fuel cell to allow for long trips, and within the compartments of the jet ski, law enforcement discovered a trove of food and water bottles. A federal judge in Miami ordered that a Hialeah resident who allegedly submitted more than $4 million in fraudulent health care claims to Medicare be detained pending trial, after the defendant was arrested on board a jet ski headed south from Key West toward Cuba. According to allegations in the criminal complaint, from February through April, 54-year-old Ernesto Cruz Graveran owned Xiko Enterprises, Inc., a Florida corporation which purported to provide durable medical equipment (DME) to eligible Medicare beneficiaries. The complaint alleges that Xiko, in only a two-month period in 2022, submitted approximately $4.2 million in fraudulent health care claims to Medicare for DME that Xiko never provided, and that Medicare beneficiaries never requested. As a result, Medicare paid Xiko over $2.1 million. For example, according to the claims that Xiko submitted to Medicare, one physician purportedly prescribed DME from Xiko for approximately 145 Medicare beneficiaries, and Xiko billed Medicare over $1 million for DME referred by this one physician. But, according to the complaint, none of those 145 beneficiaries were in fact patients of that physician, and that physician never prescribed any of the billed-for DME. The government alleged in court that the U.S. Coast Guard and U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers located Graveran aboard a broken-down jet ski in the waters south of Key West, headed in the direction of Cuba, roughly 90 miles away. Graveran was aboard the jet ski along with one other individual, who was known to law enforcement to be an alien smuggler. The jet ski was outfitted with a special fuel cell to allow for long trips, and within the compartments of the jet ski, law enforcement discovered a trove of food and water bottles. ___________________________________________________ While my friend was working as a receptionist for an eye surgeon, a very angry woman stormed up to her desk.. "Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday," she complained. The doctor came out and tried to calm her down. "I assure you that no one on my staff would have done such a thing," he said. "Why do you think it was taken here?" "After the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly." "I think," explained the surgeon gently, "that means your cataract operation was a success." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, please hit paypal with it! ___________________________________________________ A 92 year old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. At his follow up visit, the doctor talked to the man and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" The man replied, "Just doing what you said Doctor: "Get a hot mamma and be cheerful'." The Doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful." ---------------- Any hot mamas left in this world? Or are they both married? ____________________________________________________ Sailesh Jain A Strangler fig tree in a park in Nanning, Guangxi, China. Strangler figs are named for their 'strangling' pattern of growth upon host trees, which often results in the host's death, as they suck up the nutrients from their victims. The strangler fig becomes a "columnar tree" with a hollow central core when an original support tree dies. However, there is some evidence that shows that trees encased in strangler figs have a better chance of surviving storms. ___________________________________________________ A blonde and a politician are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The politician asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The politician persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa." Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The politician, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game. The politician asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the politician. "Okay," says the politician, "your turn." She asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The politician, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references ... no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep. The politician, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the politician $5, and goes back to sleep. And you thought blondes were dumb. ____________________________________________________ Paul dies and finds himself before the pearly gates of Heaven. St. Peter tells him that he cannot enter yet because he cheated on his income taxes. The only way he might get into heaven would be to sleep with a dumb, ugly woman for the next five years and enjoy it. Paul decides that this is a small price to pay for an eternity in heaven. So, off he goes with this woman, pretending to be happy. As he walks along, he sees his friend Sam up ahead with an even uglier woman. When he asks what's going on, Sam replies "I cheated on my income taxes and scammed the government out of a lot of money." They both nod their heads in understanding and figure that they might as well hang out together to help pass the time. Now Sam, Paul, and their two ugly women are walking along, minding their own business when they see someone who looks like their old friend Greg up ahead. This man is with an absolutely gorgeous woman. Stunned, Sam and Paul approach the man and discover it is their friend Greg. They ask him how it is he's with this unbelievable goddess, while they're stuck with these god- awful women. Greg replies, "I have no idea, but I'm definitely not complaining. This has been absolutely the best time of my life, and I have five years of the best sex any man could hope to look forward to. There is only one thing that I can't seem to understand. Every time we finish having sex, she rolls over and murmurs to herself, 'Damn income taxes!'" ___________________________________________________ DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Eleanor Re: Printing a page Dear Webby I followed your sage advice and got a color laser printer. Kicking myself at least once a week for not doing that years ago. It is just so much more civilized, and much cheaper to operate. There are no jets to gum up, and no ridiculously overpriced inks. The only time I cuss now is when I have to lug another case of paper in from the garage. Why are you so far away? Got a question, though. A lot of receipt or order pages are just a little bit too tall, and then print a line or two onto the next sheet. How do you deal with that? Eleanor Dear Eleanor In the print preview or page set-up there is usually an option to "Print to fit" hidden in plain sight. That shrinks the page down to fit onto a sheet. Also, keep in mind, you can always put the "wasted" sheet back into the input tray. It is easy enough to find out whether your printer pints onto the top or the bottom of the paper. You see it the first time you try that trick. If the print on the page is too small for comfort, then that option is better than the "Print to fit" option. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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________________________________________________ A George Washington University researcher has discovered a band of chimpanzees in West Africa that have genetically passed on the ability to use rock "hammers" to extract well protected panda nuts from their tough outer shells, leaving the tools for the next user at the base of hard tree trunk "anvils." (AP) Thus making them more productive to society than the Dims. __________________________________________ police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I wish you could talk." The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down. "You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer. Again, the monkey shook his head up and down. "Well, did you see this?" "Yes," motioned the monkey. "What happened?" The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth. "They were drinking?" asked the officer. "Yes." "What else?" The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth. "They were smoking marijuana?" "Yes." "What else?" The monkey motioned "Screwing." "They were screwing, too?" asked the astounded officer. "Yes." "Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, smoking and screwing before they wrecked the car?" "Yes." "What were you doing during all this?" "Driving" ....motioned the monkey _______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
| Today, June 17, in 0362, emperor julian issued an edict banning christians from teaching in syria. 1579, sir francis drake claimed san francisco bay for england. (California) 1775, the british took bunker hill outside of boston. 1789, the third estate in france declared itself a national assembly, and began to frame a constitution. 1799, napoleon bonaparte incorporated italy into his empire. 1837, charles goodyear received his first patent. The patent was for a process that made rubber easier to work with. 1848, austrian general alfred windischgratz crushed a czech uprising in prague. 1854, the red turban revolt broke out in guangdong, china. 1856, the republican party opened its first national convention in philadelphia. 1861, u.S. President abraham lincoln witnessed dr. Thaddeus lowe demonstrate the use of a hydrogen balloon. 1872, george m. Hoover began selling whiskey in dodge city, kansas. The town had been dry up until this point. 1876, general george crooks command was attacked and defeated on the rosebud river by 1,500 sioux and cheyenne under the leadership of crazy horse. 1879, thomas edison received an honorary degree of doctor of philosophy from the trustees of rutgers college in new brunswick, nj. 1885, the statue of liberty arrived in new york city aboard the french ship isere. 1912, the german zeppelin sz 111 burned in its hangar in friedrichshafen. 1913, u.S. Marines set sail from san diego to protect american interests in mexico. 1917, the russian duma met in a secret session in petrograd and voted for an immediate russian offensive against the german army. (World war i) 1924, the fascist militia marched into rome. 1926, spain threatened to quit the league of nations if germany was allowed to join. 1928, amelia earhart began the flight that made her the first woman to successfully fly across the atlantic ocean. 1930, the smoot,hawley tariff bill became law. It placed the highest tariff on imports to the u.S. 1931, british authorities in china arrested indochinese communist leader ho chi minh. 1932, the u.S. Senate defeated the bonus bill as 10,000 veterans massed around the capitol. 1940, the soviet union occupied lithuania, latvia, and estonia. 1940, france asked germany for terms of surrender in world war ii. 1941, wnbt,tv in new york city, ny, was granted the first construction permit to operate a commercial tv station in the u.S. 2022 Do! smiled. |
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