Good Morning, Do, Today is Wednesday, July 12 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Syrian migrant trafficked girls while on bail after raping another teenager Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 12 in 1096 Crusaders under Peter the Hermit reached Sofia, Bulgaria. There they met their Byzantine escort, which brought them safely the rest of the way to Constantinople by August 1. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. --- H. L. Mencken ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The happy couple were at Town Hall, applying for their marriage license. After they filled out all the papers, the clerk said, "This license is good for 30 days." "No, you don't understand," replied the nervous bride-to-be. "We want one that's for a long time." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting up straight, embarrassed and red faced, sure that everyone in the place heard her, she turns to the waiter and demands, "Stop that!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says, "Sure lady, which way did you fire it ?" ______________________________________________________ Alba _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Zohair Tomari, 20, in jail in England Syrian migrant trafficked girls while on bail after raping another teenager Zohair Tomari, 20, who is believed to be from Syria, invited his 17-year-old victim and her 15-year-old friend to his flat in August 2014 after befriending them. Once there, he gave her alcohol, before slapping and punching both and pulling out a knife. Tomari, of Longford, Coventry, demanded that the terrified teen open her legs and, as he undid his belt, told her that the more she cried, the more he would hit her, before proceeding to rape her. Police arrived at the scene after the youngest girl was reported missing, at which point the other informed them of the incident in private. But he was granted bail and went on to traffic two younger girls, aged 13 and 14, as they walked to a friend's home in the early hours of the morning in August last year. The pair were enticed into the car in which Tomari was a passenger and given drink and cigarettes before being led to a flat in Foleshill, Coventry, where he sexually assaulted them. Tomari was found guilty of rape, in relation to the incident involving the 17-year-old girl, at Warwick Crown Court, and jailed for a total of 12 years and nine months for both incidents. The court heard how Tomari had been jailed at Coventry Crown Court in January this year after being convicted of trafficking for child sexual exploitation and sexual assaults in relation to the other incident. He will also have to serve an additional seven years on licence, and has been ordered to register as a sex offender for life. In relation to the first attack, Judge Andrew Lockhart QC, sentencing, told Tomari: 'Behaviour of this nature is abhorred in virtually every civilised country on this earth. 'Sadly, then you were granted bail, and you committed other offences for which you are now in prison. I am driven to conclude you are dangerous. I can see no end to the danger you pose.' Jeremy Janes, prosecuting, claimed that Tomari had befriended the 17-year-old victim and her 15-year-old friend, and invited them to his flat. The older girl said that both she and the youngster were punched and slapped by Tomari, and she was threatened with a knife and told she 'better be careful' or she would be going to Hillfields, Coventry, to 'open your legs for anyone.' During the night, two calls were made to police, one just before 10pm and one just before 3am, but neither was completed. Tomari, who claimed to be from Morocco in his pre-sentence report but now claims to be from Syria, then went on to traffic the two young girls in August last year. The pair went to the police about the horror incident after being driven back to the city centre by the sex offender. Tomari was handed a nine-and-a-half year sentence for child sexual exploitation and sexual assaults in relation to the that incident and, once half that sentence has been served, an extended sentence of eight years for the rape of the 17-year-old will begin. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Laura Re: Printer spitting paper Dear Webby, Dear Webby, My Brother printer keeps spitting paper onto the floor when it ejects the printed pages. Is there a way to stop that? Laura Dear Laura That's typical for most Brother printers. Just take a wire coat hanger, bend one end so that it forms a 5 inch wide rectangle. Stick the other end, that you did not modify, under the printer with the rectangle end projecting a couple of inches beyond the built in paper catcher. Bend it up slightly, and it will securely stop all the printed pages. It does not have to be strong. Once the paper eds are on it, they usually slide back down to where they belong. The alternative is to epoxy some stiff cardboard onto the paper catcher to extend it. Don't mess with the insides of the printer. The fast ejection is actually a good feature. They just traditionally have too short paper catchers. Have FUN! DearWebby At the height of the gale, the harbour master radioed a coastguard on the point and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge any more. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cheddar Baked Mac and Cheese Recipe By sharon6345 [38 Posts, 95 Comments] Here is a baked macaroni and cheese that will be divine. I don't know about you, but I love baked mac and cheese. There is nothing better than a well made dish that you have prepared. Have fun and please share. Total Time: 45 min Yield: 5 Ingredients: 4 pinch seasoning salt 1 1/2 cup milk 2 eggs 3 tsp butter elbow macaroni 1 block of sharp cheddar cheese 1 block of cheddar cheese Steps: Boil your desired amount of elbow noodles. Add salt and oil to your cooking water. I use half a box as I normally feed a few people. Grate the cheddar and sharp cheddar cheese. I think Cracker Barrel is the best cheddar for this dish. I grate a block of each. You can get it in white or yellow. The color does not matter. When the macaroni is done, pour into colander. Rinse the pot with cold water to cool it down. Drop the warm noodles back in the pot. Add your favorite milk, eggs, the butter, and most of your cheese. I use three seasonings with a few shakes. You want just enough to taste the seasoning flavor, but not over powering. Mix it all up until it's nice and smooth. Put in your oven dish. Spread the rest of the cheese over the top. Put it in the over on 350 F for about 30 minutes. Turn the oven down for about 15 minutes and it's done. ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Teacher to a third grade student: "Billy, if both of your parents were born in 1967, how old are they now?" Billy: "It depends." Teacher: "It depends on what?" Billy: "It depends on whether you ask my father or my mother." ___________________________________________________ | | The dapper daredevil photographer. |
___________________________________________________ Concluding his exam, the doctor said to his patient, "Mr. Franklin, I find very little wrong with you. You are in surprisingly good health despite being quite overweight. My advice to you is this: If you want to stay healthy, give up those intimate little dinners for two unless you have someone to share them with." | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence. "Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?" "I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant." "You sell them here?" the customer asks. "Only $4 apiece," says Green. The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter. "You didn't eat enough, " says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry. "Hey, Green," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $4 a piece when I can buy the whole fish for $2. You're ripping me off!" "You see?" says Green. "You're schmarter already." ____________________________________________________ | Today, on July 12, in 1096 Crusaders under Peter the Hermit reached Sofia, Bulgaria. There they met their Byzantine escort, which brought them safely the rest of the way to Constantinople by August 1. 1543 England's King Henry VIII married his sixth and last wife, Catherine Parr. 1690 Protestant forces led by William of Orange defeated the Roman Catholic army of James II. 1691 William III defeated the allied Irish and French armies at the Battle of Aughrim, Ireland. 1790 The French Assembly approved a Civil Constitution providing for the election of priests and bishops. 1806 The Confederation of the Rhine was established in Germany. 1864 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln witnessed the battle where Union forces repelled Jubal Early's army on the outskirts of Washington, DC. 1870 The first rotary can opener with a cutting wheel was patented by William W. Lyman. 1912 The first foreign-made film to premiere in America, "Queen Elizabeth", was shown. 1941 Moscow was bombed by the German Luftwaffe for the first time. 1946 "The Adventures of Sam Spade" was heard on ABC radio for the first time. 1960 Manufacturing began for the Etch A Sketch. 1982 "E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial" broke all box-office records by surpassing the $100-million mark of ticket sales in the first 31 days of its opening. 1982 The last of the distinctive-looking Checker taxicabs rolled off the assembly line in Kalamazoo, MI. 1990 Russian republic president Boris N. Yeltsin announced his resignation from the the Soviet Communist Party. 1998 1.7 billion people watched soccer's World Cup finals between France and Brazil. France won 3-0. 2000 Russia launched the Zvezda after two years of delays. The module was built to be the living quarters for the International Space Station (ISS.) 2017 Do smiled. |
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