| Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, April 16 ___________________________________________________ History: Today, April 16 in 1947, In Texas City, TX, the French ship Grandcamp, carrying ammonium nitrate fertilizer, caught fire and blew up. The explosions and resulting fires killed 576 people. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Oswego woman now charged with murder on top of assaulting cops _____________________________________________________ Q You can fool too many of the people too much of the time. --- James Thurber (1894 - 1961) ______________________________________________________ Groan Alert! Johnny's mother told him that he had been a very naughty boy and, as punishment, she decided to omit his favorite vegetable from his dinner. That evening he sat down at the table and moaned: "I've only got beans, carrots and potatoes. Where are... His mother interrupted him. "You know what they say, Johnny: no peas for the wicked." ___________________________________________________ Tanzania lion cubs ____________________________________________________ Ever wonder why ABCDEF are used to define bra sizes? A - Almost Boobs B - Barely there C - Can Do D - Damn good DD - Double Dang Good E - Enormous F - Fake ____________________________________________________ Today on April 14 saw this beautiful Ferruginous Hawk around Manyberries _______________________________________________ A guy was visiting his friend in the hospital who was "all torn up." "What happened?" he asked. "Well, we were hunting the Mumba snake. It has yellow and black stripes. It likes to sun itself lying across a pathway in the jungle. You catch it by grabbing the tip of its tail with one hand and quickly running your other hand up the length of its body so you can grab it behind the neck." "Go on". the friend said. "Well, I stealthily sneaked up to the tail laying across the jungle path, grabbed it by the end and rapidly moved my other hand upward ... just as the procedure goes." "So why are you so beaten up?" the friend asked. "Did you ever *goose* a tiger?" _______________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Alexia Telles, 26, Oswego, Illinois, USA Oswego woman now charged with murder on top of assaulting cops An Oswego woman is accused of shooting and killing another woman in February. 26-year-old Alexia Telles is already in custody at the Kendall County Jail on charges of aggravated battery to a police officer. Now she'll also be facing murder charges. The Illinois State Police says that the Oswego Police Department requested that it investigate the February 18 death that was ruled a homicide by the Kendall County Coroner's Office. Police had responded to the 100 block of Presidential Boulevard for a report of woman who had been shot. Oswego Police had said officers were initially told that the victim, 25-year-old Annissa Ellen Williams, had shot herself while driving and Telles had taken control of the vehicle. During the initial investigation, Telles allegedly battered officers and was arrested and charged. Telles made a court appearance on Wednesday where her bond was set at $3 million. She's due back in court on May 2. Consideering all the tramp stamps all over her face, plus attacking a cop, she might plead insanity. She will get the same number of years, but the food apparently is better at the funny-farm than in jail. _______________________________________________ DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Moe From: Victoria Re: Printer paper Dear Webby, I am finally going to get a printer. Laser, color! My daughter ordered it for my birthday. I guess she got tired of having to do all my printing. What kind of paper do I need to get? Thanks Victoria Dear Victoria Regular "Copy Paper" works well in laser printers. Copiers are laser printers. Check if you have a "Staples" store in your area, and if they deliver. Most of them do deliver. You can order the paper online. Have a look at their site at http://staples.com Paper is at Printer Paper A CARTON is a 5000 sheet box. When the description says "20 lbs", that is NOT the weight of the box, but refers to the thickness of the paper. 20 lbs paper is just fine for any laser printer or copier. If you decide to get a carton, currently on sale for $20 - $30, most definitely take advantage of the free delivery. A 5000 sheet carton probably weighs as much or more than you do! There are 10 Reams in a carton. You just take one ream out at a time. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Today, April 16 in 0069, Otho committed suicide after being defeated by Vitellius' troops at Bedriacum. 0556, Pelagius I began his reign as Catholic Pope. 1065, The Norman Robert Guiscard took Bari. Five centuries of Byzantine rule in southern Italy ended. 1175, Frederick I, Holy Roman Emperor, signed the Treaty of Montebello with the Lombard League. 1705, Queen Anne of England knighted Isaac Newton. 1746, The Duke of Cumberland defeated Bonnie Prince Charlie (and his Jacobites) at the battle of Culloden. 1818, The U.S. Senate ratified Rush-Bagot amendment to form an unarmed U.S.-Canada border. 1851, A lighthouse was swept away in a gale at Minots Ledge, MA. 1854, San Salvador was destroyed by an earthquake. 1862, Confederate President Jefferson Davis approved conscription act for white males between 18 and 35. 1862, In the U.S., slavery was abolished by law in the District of Columbia. 1883, Paul Kruger became president of the South African Republic. 1905, Andrew Carnegie donated $10,000,000 of personal money to set up the Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement of Teaching. 1912, Harriet Quimby became the first woman to fly across the English Channel. 1917, Vladimir Ilyich Lenin returned to Russia to start Bolshevik Revolution after years of exile. 1922, Annie Oakley shot 100 clay targets in a row, to set a women's record. 1922, The Soviet Union and Germany signed the Treaty of Rapallo under which Germany recognized the Soviet Union and diplomatic and trade relations were restored. 1935, "Fibber McGee and Molly" premiered. 1940, The first no-hit, no-run game to be thrown on an opening day of the major league baseball season was earned by Bob Feller. The Cleveland Indians beat the Chicago White Sox 1-0. 1942, The Island of Malta was awarded the George Cross in recognition for heroism under constant German air attack. 1943, In Basel, Switzerland, chemist Albert Hoffman accidently discovered the the hallucinogenic effects of LSD-25 while working on the medicinal value of lysergic acid. 1944, The destroyer USS Laffey survived immense damage from attacks by 22 Japanese aircraft off Okinawa. 1945, American troops entered Nuremberg, Germany. 1947, The Zoomar lens, invented by Dr. Frank Back, was demonstrated in New York City. It was the first lens to exhibit zooming effects. 1947, In Texas City, TX, the French ship Grandcamp, carrying ammonium nitrate fertilizer, caught fire and blew up. The explosions and resulting fires killed 576 people. 1948, In Paris, the Organization for European Economic Co-operation was set up. 1951, 75 people were killed when the British submarine Affray sank in the English Channel. 1953, The British royal yacht Britannia was launched. 1967, At the Western Open in El Monte, CA, Ken Barnes Jr. became the first skeet shooter to break a perfect 400 x 400 in all four guns (.410, 28, 20, and 12 gauges). He is also the only shooter to do this with pump action guns. 1968, The Pentagon announced that troops would begin coming home from Vietnam. 1968, Major league baseball's longest night game was played when the Houston Astros defeated the New York Mets 1-0. The 24 innings took six hours, six minutes to play. 1972, Apollo 16 blasted off on a voyage to the moon. It was the fifth manned moon landing. 1972, Two giants pandas arrived in the U.S. from China. 1975, The Khmer Rouge Rebels won control of Cambodia after a five years of civil war. They renamed the country Kampuchea and began a reign of terror. 1978, In Orissa, India, 180 people died when a tornado hit. 1982, Queen Elizabeth proclaimed Canada's new constitution in effect. The act severed the last colonial links with Britain. 1983, China shelled the Vietnam border in retaliation for raids. 1983, Brazil detained four Libyan planes en route to Nicaragua after finding weapons, explosives and ammunition on the planes. 1985, Mickey Mantle was reinstated after being banned from baseball for several years. 1987, The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) sternly warned U.S. radio stations to watch the use of indecent language on the airwaves. 1987, The U.S. Patent Office began allowing the patenting of new animals created by genetic engineering. 1992, Italian financier Carlo de Benedetti and 32 others were convicted of fraud in connection with the 1982 collapse of Banco Ambrosiano. 1992, The House ethics committee listed 303 current and former lawmakers who had overdrawn their House bank accounts. 1995, The European Union and Canada agreed to protect threatened fish stocks in the north Atlantic. 1996, Britain's Prince Andrew and his wife, Sarah, the Duchess of York, announced that they were in the process of getting a divorce. 1996, An Italian court found former Prime Minister Bettino Craxi guilty on charges of corruption. He was sentenced to eight years and three months in prison. 1999, Wayne Gretzky announced his retirement from the National Hockey League (NHL). 2002, The U.S. Supreme Court overturned major parts of a 1996 child pornography law based on rights to free speech. 2007, In Blacksburg, VA, a student killed 33 people at Virginia Tech before killing himself. 2023, Do smiled.
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