Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, January 23 ___________________________________________________ Today, January 23 in 1950 - The Israeli Knesset approved a resolution proclaiming Jerusalem as the capital of Israel ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Man charged with kidnapping woman for sexual servitude after deputy is hit by her SUV __________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand. --- Putt's Law A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions-- as attempts to find out something. Success and failure are for him answers above all. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) _____________________________________________ You Might be a Democrat if: You feel Fidelity means not cheating on your mistress, You cry every May 4th over the four people killed at Kent State, but have never been to the Vietnam Memorial, Along the same lines, "Four Dead in OHIO" by Neil Young gives you goosebumps, but "19" by Paul Hardcastle means nothing to you, You say shows like "Leave It to Beaver" are out of touch with America today, while you flip to your soap opera, You want to know why we don't offer schooling in prisons (hey, isn't that what public schools are for), You think those stupid ribbons actually accomplish something, You tout the NAACP, but criticize anyone referring to a black man as a "colored person" You think a mother has a right to kill an innocent 5 month fetus because her pregnancy would interfere with her career, but feel we shouldn't put to death the man who raped and murdered 14 women, You feel that banning smoking in public indoor places limits your constitutional rights, You feel that being convicted of treason is an infringement on your first amendment rights, You honestly feel that alcoholics deserve social security disability benefits, ________________________________________________` ZhangjiajieNational Park, China ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kevin Michael, Thomasville, North Carolina Man charged with kidnapping woman for sexual servitude after deputy is hit by SUV A North Carolina man faces new charges of kidnapping and forcible sex offense after deputies responded to a report of a woman being attacked, according to the Davidson County Sheriffs Office. Kevin Michael was initially charged with possession with intent to sell and distribute cocaine, manufacturing in a dwelling or place of business and possession of drug paraphernalia. He is now also charged with first-degree kidnapping and two counts of second-degree forcible sex offense. At about 7:26 a.m. Tuesday deputies responded to 152 Kanoy Road for a disturbance in which a woman was being attacked, the sheriffs office said. Two deputies were on scene when a woman driving a large SUV, which was inside a garage, smashed through the garage door and hit one of the deputies in the parking lot. The deputy was taken to a hospital in serious but stable condition. Another deputy reportedly fired shots when the SUV did not stop. The woman behind the wheel was shot and taken to a hospital. She was alone in the vehicle and is believed to have been the victim trying to flee the scene after calling 911, according to The Dispatch. Michael, who was also at the scene, was arrested. Arrest warrants reveal Michael kidnapped a woman to hold her in sexual servitude against her will. The victim was seriously injured and sexually assaulted. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Amy Re: Printing business cards Dear Webby, With my previous printer I was able to print business cards quite nicely, but with this one, a Laser, they don't come out well at all. What should I do? Amy Dear Amy Lasers depend on the paper to be at a precise distance. Stiff business cards tend to be a slightly different distances, and they don't like wrapping tightly around the hgot fuser roller. Laser printers used to have larger rollers and were able to handle stiffer paper. Modern printers have smaller rollers, especialy the ones, that do double sided printing. Just take your design to Staples. They will print your business cards for under $50 for 250 cards. You do much more damage than that trying to print them with your current printer. The printing there is fast, probably no more than 3 minutes, but expect them to waste half an hour composing an invoice. Fringe benefit is that they separate the cards for you, and neatly put them into a box made for 250 cards. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro to a match, with a $100 bet on the side. "But," said the duffer, "since you're obviously much better than I, to even it a bit you have to spot me two 'gotchas'." The golf pro didn't know what a 'gotcha' was, but he went along with it. And off they went. Coming back to the 19th hole, the rest of the club members were amazed to see the golf pro paying the duffer $100. "What happened?" asked one of the members. "Well," said the pro, "I was teeing up for the first hole, and as I brought the club down, that jerk stuck his hand between my legs and grabbed my balls... then yelled 'Gotcha!' Have you ever tried to play 18 holes of golf waiting for the second 'gotcha'?" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com One Minute Microwave Meringues Super simple and incredibly fast way to make a bowl full of scrumptious meringues that you can munch or mix with fruit and other toppings for a very fast dessert! Prep Time: 2 minutes Cook Time: 55 seconds to 2 minutes per batch Total Time: 15 minutes Yield: 30 cookies Source: Microwave Meringues in Minutes - Episode 62 - Baking with Eda Ingredients: 1 egg white 2 cups confectioner's sugar (add more if needed to stiffen dough) Steps: Separate egg white from one egg. Whisk egg white lightly (optional). Add 2 cups of confectioner's sugar to bowl. You can add a little more if necessary to stiffen dough. Mix until a "Play Doh" like dough forms. Cover a plate with a paper towel. Pinch and roll up three marble sized balls of dough. Place on paper towel - space them well away from each other. Microwave for 55 seconds to 2 minutes (depends on your microwave). Watch the marbles bloom into huge meringues! Repeat until dough is gone. Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A guy asked his mother, "Why don't you get call-waiting? Your phone's always busy, and I can't get through." Hank finally found the nerve to tell his fiancee that he had to break off their engagement so that he could marry another woman. "Can she cook like I can?" the distraught woman asked. "Not on her best day." Hank replied. "Can she buy you expensive gifts like I do?" she asked. "No, she's broke." "Well then, is it sex?" "Nope,... nobody does it like you, babe." "Then what is it?? What can she do for you that I can't?" "She can sue me for child support!" ___________________________________________________ Three golfers were playing a round with their local pro. After the pro drove right down the middle, the first member stepped up, went through his normal routine and proceeded to duck hook his shot OB. He turned to the pro and asked, "What did I do wrong?" "LOFT!" said the pro. The second guy went through his practice swing, set up and skulled his drive down to the ladies tee. Again , he turned to the pro and asked, "What did I do wrong?" "LOFT!" said the pro. Finally, the third guy takes his turn and hit a screaming boomerang slice into the drink. "What did I do wrong?," he asked. "LOFT!" said the pro. As they proceeded down the fairway, one of the members turned to the pro and said, "Hey, we all hit terrible but different shots off the tee and you said 'LOFT!' for every one. What's loft? "Lack Of Freakin' Talent!" ___________________________________________________ Once, in my younger days, I was traveling across the country when my car broke down. I walked to a nearby farmhouse to ask for shelter for the night and was informed by the old couple that if I wanted a bed I would have to sleep with the baby. Anticipating wet sheets and similar inconveniences, I instead begged them for permission to spend the night in the hayloft. Morning came, and I was just opening my eyes when the barn door opened and a beautiful young woman showed herself. I had never in this life seen anything so beautiful! "Who are you?" I asked. "I'm the baby," she replied. "Who are you?" "Oh, I'm the jackass who spent the night in the barn." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today January 23 in 1556 An earthquake in Shanxi Province, China, was thought to have killed about 830,000 people. 1571 The Royal Exchange in London, founded by financier Thomas Gresham, was opened by Queen Elizabeth I. 1789 Georgetown College was established as the first Catholic college in the U.S. The school is in Washington, DC. 1907 Charles Curtis, of Kansas, began serving in the United States Senate. He was the first American Indian to become a U.S. Senator. He resigned in March of 1929 to become U.S. President Herbert Hoovers Vice President. 1920 The Dutch government refused the demands from the Allies to hand over the ex-kaiser of Germany. 1556 - An earthquake in Shanxi Province, China, was thought to have killed about 830,000 people. 1571 - The Royal Exchange in London, founded by financier Thomas Gresham, was opened by Queen Elizabeth I. 1789 - Georgetown College was established as the first Catholic college in the U.S. The school is in Washington, DC. 1845 - The U.S. Congress decided all national elections would be held on the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November. 1849 - English-born Elizabeth Blackwell became the first woman in America to receive medical degree. It was from the Medical Institution of Geneva, NY. 1907 - Charles Curtis, of Kansas, began serving in the United States Senate. He was the first American Indian to become a U.S. Senator. He resigned in March of 1929 to become U.S. President Herbert Hoovers Vice President. 1920 - The Dutch government refused the demands from the Allies to hand over the ex-kaiser of Germany. 1924 - The first Labour government was formed, under Ramsay MacDonald. 1937 - In Moscow, seventeen people went on trial during Josef Stalin's "Great Purge." 1943 - The British captured Tripoli from the Germans. 1950 - The Israeli Knesset approved a resolution proclaiming Jerusalem as the capital of Israel. 1960 - The U.S. Navy bathyscaphe Trieste descended to a record depth of 35,820 feet (10,750 meters) in the Pacific Ocean. 1968 - North Korea seized the U.S. Navy ship Pueblo, charging it had intruded into the nation's territorial waters on a spying mission. The crew was released 11 months later. 1971 - In Prospect Creek Camp, AK, the lowest temperature ever recorded in the U.S. was reported as minus 80 degrees. 1973 - U.S. President Nixon announced that an accord had been reached to end the Vietnam War. 1974 - Mike Oldfields "Tubular Bells" opened the credits of the movie, "The Exorcist". 1978 - Sweden banned aerosol sprays because of damage to environment. They were the first country to do so. 1985 - O.J. Simpson became the first Heisman Trophy winner to be elected to pro footballs Hall of Fame in Canton, OH. 1989 - Surrealist artist Salvador Dali died in Spain at age 84. 1997 - A judge in Fairfax, VA, sentenced Mir Aimal Kasi to death for an assault rifle attack outside the CIA headquarters in 1993 that killed two men and wounded three other people. 1997 - A British woman received a record 186,000 damages for Repetitive Strain Injury (RSI). 2001 - A van used by the remaining two fugitives of the "Texas 7" was recovered in Colorado Springs, CO. A few hours later police surrounded a hotel where the convicts were hiding. Patrick Murphy Jr. and Donald Newbury were taken into custody the next morning without incident. 2002 - John Walker Lindh returned to the U.S. under FBI custody. Lindh was charged with conspiring to kill U.S. citizens, providing support to terrorists and engaging in prohibited transactions with the Taliban while a member of the al-Quaida terrorist organization in Afghanistan. 2003 - North Korea announced that it would consider sanctions an act of war for North Korea's reinstatement of its nuclear program. 2019 Do smiled. |
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