Good Morning, Do, Today is Monday, January 1 Happy New Year, Do! -34, no Gullible Warming. We are definitely in the "Ice Age Is Coming" ripple. Al Gore says it is YOUR fault. CNN says it's Trump's fault. I predicted that it is cycles, and I am right AGAIN. Here is a brief video showing what happens when you toss boiling water into the wind at this temperature. Instant ice fog. Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Woman wanted for armed robbery left debit card at crime scene Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, January 1 in 1892 Ellis Island Immigrant Station formally opened in New York. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life. --- Robert Byrne I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end. --- Margaret Thatcher (1925 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Whoops! IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of the parachuting enthusiasts who bought our Easy Sky Diving book, please make the following correction: on page 8, line 7, the words "state zip code" should have read "pull rip cord." Yesterday we mistakenly reported that a talk was given by a bottle-scared hero. We apologize for the error. We obviously meant that the talk was given by a battle-scarred hero. Miss Rumson has been appointed supervisor of Work Area Six, not (as stated in our last issue) Sex Work Area. ____________________________________________________ The maiden aunt is visiting her family for the holidays. One night, the talk around the dinner table turns to what the older people did when they were young. The aunt interrupts and says, "I don't want to talk about my girlhood." "Why, auntie?" one of her nephews asks. "What did you do?" "Nothing," says the older woman. "That's why I don't want to talk about it." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Soon! ____________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ A Sunday School teacher asked her class, "Does anyone know what we mean by sins of omission?" A small girl replied, "Aren't those the sins we should have committed, but omitted?" _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Tyshea Sheree Thomas, 41, Mannheim, Pennsylvania Woman wanted for armed robbery left debit card at crime scene Losing your debit card is generally pretty bad. It's even worse when you leave it behind when you're accused in an armed robbery. Tyshea Sheree Thomas, 41, no fixed address, did just that this weekend during a robbery at A-Plus on the 1200 block of Lititz Pike, Manheim Township police said. Thomas is accused of approaching the store clerk just after 4:30 p.m. on Dec. 24, pointing a black and silver handgun at the woman, and demanding cash. Thomas then climbed over the counter and aimed the gun at the clerk's head, police said. When the woman opened the register, Thomas took cash from the drawer and fled on foot. Police said the clerk was not injured. Thomas left her debit card on the counter and investigators determined she had used it at a nearby ATM prior to the robbery. Thomas is charged with felony counts of robbery and making terroristic threats, as well as a misdemeanor count of theft by unlawful taking. Anyone with information as to her whereabouts is asked to contact Manheim Township police _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ann Re: PPS Dear Webby, ...'sme again. Is there some way to forward something to a person that is still using Windows 98? I have sent a PPS file to my friend but he cannot open it. I think because he is still using 98. Do I have to save the data to my computer and then send each thing one at a time? I am forwarding the email to you separately because it is so incredible and I think you will appreciate it. Thanks for you help. Hugs Ann Dear Ann Windows 98 has nothing to do with that. All he needs is the normal pps PowerPoint viewer. He can get it free from Microsoft. The easiest way to get it is to go to http://webby.com/pps That forwards to the mile long link at Microsoft. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A little girl was asked what she wanted most for her birthday and she declared: "A baby brother." "Daddy and I would like to give you a baby brother," said her mom, "but there isn't time before your birthday." "Why don't you do like they do down at Daddy's factory when they want something in a hurry? Put more men on the job." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Our college just completed a new three-story building. While walking down a hall on the 2nd floor, I overheard a student say, "I really like the skylights on the 3rd floor." "Me too," remarked the second student. "I don't know why they didn't just put some on the 2nd floor too." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Baby Powder for Sand Carry baby powder with you to the sandbox or beach. After the children get off the of sand, sprinkle them with the baby powder. It dries up the sand and causes it to fall right off! No more tracking sand in the house or car! - Amy Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com font> ____________________________________________________ From Greta My violin teacher was teaching a large group class. She showed them her violin and said, "This violin was made in the early 1800s." Someone in the audience raised their hand and asked, "So, you got it used?" | | HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! Amazing places on our planet to end the year 2017 with. |
An old nun who was living in a convent next to a Brooklyn construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided she would take her lunch, sit with the workers and talk with them. She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were eating. She walked up to the group and with a big smile said, "Do you men know Jesus Christ?" They looked at each other and shook their heads. One of the workers looked up into the steelwork and yelled, "Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?" One of the steelworkers yelled down asking, "Why"? The worker yelled back, "His wife's here with his lunch." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, January 1, in 0404 The last gladiator competition was held in Rome. 1622 The Papal Chancery adopted January 1st as the beginning of the New Year (instead of March 25th). 1772 The first traveler's checks were issued in London. 1785 London's oldest daily paper "The Daily Universal Register" (later renamed "The Times" in 1788) was first published. 1797 Albany became the capital of New York state, replacing New York City. 1801 The Act of Union of England and Ireland came into force. 1801 Italian astronomer Giuseppe Piazzi became the first person to discover an asteroid. He named it Ceres. 1804 Haiti gained its independence. 1808 The U.S. prohibited import of slaves from Africa. 1840 The first recorded bowling match was recorded in the U.S. 1863 U.S. President Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, which declared that all slaves in the rebel states were free. 1887 Queen Victoria was proclaimed empress of India in Delhi. 1892 Ellis Island Immigrant Station formally opened in New York. 1892 Brooklyn and New York merged to form the single city of New York. 1894 The Manchester Ship Canal was officially opened to traffic. 1895 In Battle Creek, MI, C.W. Post created his first usable batch of Monks Brew (later called Postum). It was a cereal- based substitute for caffeinated drinks. 1898 Manhattan, the Bronx, Brooklyn, Queens and Staten Island were consolidated into New York City. 1900 Hawaii asked for a delegate to the Republican national convention. 1900 Nigeria became a British protectorate with Frederick Lagard as the high commissioner. 1901 The Commonwealth of Australia was founded. Lord Hopetoun officially assumed the duties as the first Governor-General. 1902 The first Tournament of Roses (later the Rose Bowl) collegiate football game was played in Pasadena, CA. 1909 The first payments of old-age pensions were made in Britain. People over 70 received five shillings a week. 1913 The post office began parcel post deliveries. 1924 Frank B. Cooney received a patent for ink paste. 1926 The Rose Bowl was carried coast to coast on network radio for the first time. 1930 "The Cuckoo Hour" was heard for the first time on the NBC-Blue Network, which later became ABC Radio. 1934 Alcatraz Island officially became a Federal Prison. 1934 The Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) began operation. 1936 The "New York Herald Tribune" began microfilming its current issues. 1937 The First Cotton Bowl football game was played in Dallas, TX. Texas Christian University (T.C.U.) beat Marquette, 16-6. 1939 The Hewlett-Packard partnership was formed by Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard. 1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt and British Prime Minister Winston Churchill issued a declaration called the "United Nations." It was signed by 26 countries that vowed to create an international postwar World War II peacekeeping organization. 1945 France was admitted to the United Nations. 1956 Sudan gained its independence. 1958 The European Economic Community (EEC) started operations. 1959 Fidel Castro overthrew the government of Fulgencio Batista, and seized power in Cuba. 1968 Evel Knievel, stunt performing daredevil, lost control of his motorcycle midway through a jump of 141 feet over the ornamental fountains in front of Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. 1971 Tobacco ads representing $20 million dollars in advertising were banned from TV and radio broadcast. 1973 Britain, Ireland, Denmark and Norway joined the EEC. 1975 The magazine "Popular Electronics" announced the invention of a person computer called Altair. MITS, using an Intel microprocessor, developed the computer. 1979 The United States and China held celebrations in Washington, DC, and Beijing to mark the establishment of diplomatic relations between the two countries. 1981 Greece joined the European Community. 1984 AT&T was broken up into 22 Bell System companies under terms of an antitrust agreement with the U.S. Federal government. 1986 Spain and Portugal joined the European Community (EC). 1987 A pro-democracy rally took place in Beijing's Tiananmen Square (China). It did not go over well. 1990 David Dinkins was sworn in as New York City's first black mayor. 1992 The ESPN Radio Network was officially launched. 1992 In Kuala Lumpur, the groundbreaking ceremony for the Petronas Towers took place. 1993 Czechoslovakia split into two separate states, the Czech Republic and Slovakia. The peaceful division had been engineered in 1992. 1994 Bill Gates, Chief Executive Officer of Microsoft and Melinda French were married. 1994 The North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) went into effect. 1995 Frederick West, an alleged killer of 12 women and girls, was found hanged in his jail cell in Winston Green prison, in Birmingham. West had been under almost continuous watch since his arrest in 1994, but security had reportedly been relaxed in the months preceding the apparent suicide. 1995 The World Trade Organization came into existence. The group of 125 nations monitors global trade. 1998 A new anti-smoking law went into effect in California. The law prohibiting people from lighting up in bars. 1999 The euro became currency for 11 Member States of the European Union. Coins and notes were not available until January 1, 2002. 1999 In California, a law went into effect that defined "invasion of privacy as trespassing with the intent to capture audio or video images of a celebrity or crime victim engaging in a personal of family activity." 2001 The "Texas 7," rented space in an RV park in Woodland Park, CO. 2007 Binney & Smith Company became Crayola LLC under its parent company Hallmark. 2017 Do smiled. |
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