Good Morning, Do! ___________________________________________________ Today, June 21 in 1859 Andrew Lanergan received the first rocket patent. _____________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Kansas mom sentenced to nearly 29 years for trying to kill her 3 children ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
_____________________________________________________ The coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave man...only five hundred. --- Meredith Willson No good deed goes unpunished. --- Clare Booth Luce (1903 - 1987) I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it. --- Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) "Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft ... the only one that can be mass-produced with unskilled labor." --- Werner von Braun - _____________________________________________________ A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when hestumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe, my friend, Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come with me running through the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit. Then they come across an elephant doing coke. So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe. The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up. "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the shit out of the little rabbit. The giraffe and elephant watch in horror, then finally obtain the presence of mind to pull the lion off the rabbit. "Lion," they reprimand, "why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!" The lion answers, "That little fucker has me running around the forest like an idiot for hours every time he's on ecstasy!" _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Absence makes the heart grow fonder. But... Out of sight, out of mind. You can't teach an old dog new tricks. But... It's never to late to learn. Two wrongs don't make a right. But... Turnabout is fair play. He who hesitates is lost. But... Haste makes waste. OR Look before you leap. You can't judge a book by its cover. But... What you see is what you get. Birds of a feather flock together. But... Opposites attract. Ask no questions and hear no lies. But... Ask and you shall receive. Variety is the spice of life. But... Don't change horses in midstream. The pen is mightier than the sword. But... Actions speak louder than words. Don't cross the bridge until you come to it. But... Forewarned is forearmed. Silence is golden. But... The squeaky wheel gets the grease. Clothes make the man. But... You can't judge a book by its cover. The best things come in small packages. But... The bigger the better. A miss is as good as a mile. But... Half a loaf is better than none. An old fox is not easily snared. But... There's no fool like an old fool. Practice makes perfect. But... All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. If you lie down with dogs, you'll get up with fleas. But... If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. But... A man's reach should exceed his grasp. There's safety in numbers. But... Better to be alone than in bad company. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. But... Don't beat a dead horse. Hold fast to the words of your ancestors. But... Wise men make proverbs and fools repeat them. ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Therese Roever, 39, Olathe, Kansas, USA Kansas mom sentenced to nearly 29 years for trying to kill her 3 children A Kansas mom who tried to kill her three children by poisoning them has been sentenced to just under 29 years in prison. According to WDAF, the Johnson County district attorney said Tuesday that 39-year-old Therese Roever was sentenced to a combined 28 years and 11 months. Roever, of Olathe, was convicted on three counts of attempted first-degree murder after entering pleas on March 3 and May 15. Court documents state that officers responded to the family's home on February 19, 2018, after Roever's ex- husband called and reported their three children were drugged and groggy. Officers arrived to find Roever lying on a bed with her 7-year-old daughter who was not alert. Her 5-year-old was also seen getting up from a bed and stumbling to the ground, and police found another 7-year-old child crying in a bathroom. Officers also found multiple pill bottles. Doctors at the hospital told police two of the children would have died if police wouldnt have arrived when they did. Court records also state Roever plotted to kill her ex- husband while in jail on suspicion of trying to poisoning their children. Roever lost custody of her children when the couple divorced in 2016 but was later given unsupervised visitation. DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Jim Re: Pop Up warning in Eudora Dear Webby A good morning to you. Hope you are well and hope you know the solution to my problem. You always do, so. I just started getting this pop up when trying to send mail from my Eudora. I don't think I did anything different, did the "re-boot" thing and that didn't help. Any thoughts? I shows when checking mail also. Jim Dear Jim That has happened to me occasionally, especially when typing while somebody talks to me and I look at them instead of the screen. You got something in the ATTACH line, that is not available. Click on the SUBJECT line, tab down to the ATTACH line, and delete everything there. Most likely it is just an empty space. CTRL A while in that line selects everything, including empty spaces. Then hit DELETE, and that is gone. After that you can send mail normally. Have FUN! DearWebby
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____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________ A man answered his doorbell and greeted a friend who walked in, followed by a very large dog. The dog immediately jumped up on the sofa with his muddy feet and proceeded to knock over a lamp and chew on the cushions. The outraged householder began to scold his friend, "Don't you think you should train your dog a little better?" "My dog?" exclaimed the friend, "I thought it was your dog!" _____________________________________________ Ron hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife, Laura. Ron wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of Laura's activities. A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional, Ron saw Laura meeting another man! He saw the two of them laughing in the park. He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe. He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. He saw the man and his wife participate in a dozen sex activities with utter glee. "I just can't believe this," Ron said with tears in his eyes. The detective said, "What's not to believe? It's right up there on the screen!" Ron replied, "I can't believe that my wife could be so much fun!" _____________________________________________ A man was bragging about his sister who disguised herself, as a man and joined the army. "But, wait a minute," said the listener, "She'll have to dress with the boys and shower with them too. Won't she?" "Sure," replied the man. "Well, won't they find out?" "And who's gonna tell?" ____________________________________________ Psychiatrist: I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What's your excuse? Patient: I was just following your orders, Doc. Psychiatrist: Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order. Patient: You told me to avoid nuts who irritate me. | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today June 21 in 1404 Owain Glyndwr established a Welsh Parliament at Machynlleth and was crowned Prince of Wales. 1788 The U.S. Constitution went into effect when New Hampshire became the ninth state to ratify it. 1834 Cyrus McCormick patented the first practical mechanical reaper for farming. His invention allowed farmers to more than double their crop size. 1859 Andrew Lanergan received the first rocket patent. 1893 The Ferris Wheel was introduced at the World's Columbian Exposition in Chicago, IL. 1913 Georgia Broadwick became the first woman to jump from an airplane. 1937 In Paris, Leon Blum's Popular Front Cabinet resigned. 1938 In Washington, U.S. President Roosevelt signed the $3.75 billion Emergency Relief Appropriation Act. 1941 German troops entered Russia on a front from the Arctic to Black Sea. DUMB!! 1945 Pan Am announced an 88-hour round-the-world flight at a cost of $700. 1954 The American Cancer Society reported significantly higher death rates among cigarette smokers than among non-smokers. 1958 Linus Pauling and Detlev Bronke, both Americans, were elected to the Soviet Academy of Science. 1963 France announced that they were withdrawing from the North Atlantic NATO fleet. 1973 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that states may ban materials found to be obscene according to local standards. 1974 The U.S. Supreme Court decided that pregnant teachers could no longer be forced to take long leaves of absence. 1985 Scientists announced that skeletal remains exhumed in Brazil were those of Nazi war criminal Josef Mengele. 1989 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that burning the American flag as a form of political protest was protected by the First Amendment. 2001 Former Haitian Army colonel Carl Dorelien taken into custody in Port St. Lucie. Dorelien had been in exile since 1994 when he was sentenced to life in prison for his role in a 1994 massacre. 2003 The fifth Harry Potter book, "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," was published by J.K. Rowling. Amazon.com shipped out more than one million copies on this day making the day the largest distribution day of a single item in e-commerce history. The book set sales records around the world with an estimated 5 million copies were sold on the first day. 2004 SpaceShipOne, designed by Burt Rutan and piloted by Mike Melvill, reached 328,491 feet above Earth in a 90 minute flight. The height is about 400 feet above the distance scientists consider to be the boundary of space. 2020 Do smiled. |
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