Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, February 13 Today's Bonehead Award: Woman Killed Husband to Marry Man Serving Life ______________________________________________________ Today, February 13 in 1880 Thomas Edison observed what became known as the Edison Effect for the first time. In a vacuum electrons flow from a hot element to a cold one. That eventually led to the vacuum tube, TVs and tube type monitors. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home. --- Ken Olsen (1926 - ), President, Digital Equipment, 1977 ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic. "Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?" A girl raised her hand and asked, "To draw out all his savings?" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The patrol officer stopped a motorist for a traffic violation. Standing outside his expensive foreign car, the red-faced driver frantically waved his hands and jumped up and down. "I'll have your job for this!" He shouted at the top of his lungs. "Sir, you wouldn't want my job," replied the unruffled officer as he wrote out the citation. "The hours are long, the pay is low, and you got to put up with the biggest idjits in town." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Amy Murray, 4'11", 40, Jefferson City, Missouri Woman Killed Husband to Marry Man Serving Life A Missouri prison nurse who had an affair with a lifer may now face a life sentence of her own. Amy Murray, 40, has been charged with first-degree murder in the Dec. 11 death of husband Joshua Murray, Fox reports. His body was found after a fire at the couple's home. Investigators determined that the fire was deliberately set and Joshua Murray was already dead, poisoned with antifreeze, when it broke out. Police say Murray killed her husband because she wanted to marry Eugene Claypool, an inmate at Murray's workplace, the Jefferson City Correctional Center. Investigators say that according to recordings of prison phone conversations, Murray, who has an 11-year-old son, told Claypool that she wanted to divorce her husband and later told the inmate she could marry him because her husband was dead and "out of the picture," the News Tribune reports. Murray and Claypool who has been behind bars since 2001 for the murder of a 72-year-old lottery winner also discussed hiring an attorney to secure his early release. Her bail was set at $750,000 after she was charged Friday, KRCG reports. From: Janice Re: PowerPoint Slide Show Dear DearWebby, You told us to dl power point viewer if we could not see pps's. Well I did, but it does not play a video, but shows me the pictures in slides one by one off to the left side. Is there a way to make it view like it is intended? Thanks, janice dear Janice hit f5 for auto-play have fun! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continued playing standing up. Finkelstein looks around and asks, "So, who is going to tell his wife?" They draw straws. Goldberg picks the short one. They tell him to use good judgment, be discreet, and be gentle.. Don't make a bad situation any worse. "Discreet? I'll be the most discreet person you will ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Just leave it to me." Goldberg goes over to the Meyerwitz apartment, and knocks on the door. The wife answers and asks what he wants. Goldberg declares, "Your husband just lost $500, and is afraid to come home." "TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!" she yells. "I'll go tell him," says Goldberg. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A lady answered her front door to find a plumber standing there. "I'm here to fix the leaky pipe," he announced. "I didn't call a plumber," said the lady. "What?" huffed the plumber. "Aren't you Mrs. Frobisher?" The Frobishers moved out of this house over a year ago," explained the lady. "How do you like that," grunted the plumber. "They call you up and tell you it's an emergency and then they move away!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com The Fine Print with Your Statement When banks make a change to your account or fee schedule, they usually include a small pamphlet with your bank and credit card statements, usually on thin paper in extremely small print. Make sure you read it, even if you need to get a magnifying glass. Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | Bad lip reading of the 2018-2019 NFL season. These are hilarious! |
___________________________________________________ A pediatrician in town always plays a game with some of his young patients to put them at ease and test their knowledge of body parts. One day, while pointing to a little boy's ear, the doctor asked him, "Is this your nose?" Immediately the little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mom, I think we'd better find a new doctor!" ___________________________________________________ >From Ella We are fortunate our grand-children live close by and visit us often. When our seven-year-old granddaughter, Morgan, comes over, she loves to watch her grandmother when she is baking. "Oma," she asked one day, "where did you learn how to cook?" She told her that she learned from her mother and passed on this knowledge to her daughter. Someday, she continued, her mother will pass on this knowledge to her. There was a short silence, "No, I don't think so," Morgan said. "Mom just peels the plastic and then puts everything in the microwave." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
I'm a counselor who helps coordinate support groups for visually-impaired adults. Many participants have a condition known as macular degeneration, which makes it difficult for them to distinguish facial features. I had just been assigned to a new group and was introducing myself. Knowing that many in the group would not be able to see me well, I jokingly said, "For those of you who can't see me, I've been told that I look like a cross between Paul Newman and Robert Redford." Immediately, one woman called out, "We're not THAT blind!" ___________________________________________________ | Today February 13 in 1542 Catherine Howard was executed for adultery. She was the fifth wife of England's King Henry VIII. 1633 Galileo Galilei arrived in Rome for trial before the Inquisition. Galileo was convicted of heresy, because he had written that the earth moves around the sun. 1741 "The American Magazine," the first magazine in the U.S., was published in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. 1880 Thomas Edison observed what became known as the Edison Effect for the first time. In a vacuum electrons flow from a hot element to a cold one. That eventually led to the vacuum tube, TVs and tube type monitors. 1900 The Anglo-German accord of 1899 was ratified by Reichstag, in which Britain renounced rights in Samoa in favor of Germany and the U.S. 1914 The American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers (known as ASCAP) was formed in New York City. The society was founded to protect the copyrighted musical compositions of its members. 1920 The League of Nations recognized the continued neutrality of Switzerland. 1935 In Flemington, New Jersey, a jury found Bruno Richard Hauptmann guilty of the kidnapping and death of the infant son of Charles and Anne Lindbergh. Hauptmann was later executed for the crimes. 1945 At the end of World War II, the Soviets captured Budapest, Hungary, from the German army. 1945 During World War II, Allied aircraft began bombing the German city of Dresden and in 3 days of sustained bombing, reduced it to rubble. 1955 Israel acquired 4 of the 7 Dead Sea scrolls. 1960 France detonated its first atomic bomb. 1971 South Vietnamese troops invaded Laos. They were backed by U.S. air and artillery support. 1984 Konstantin Chernenko was chosen to be general secretary of the Soviet Communist Party's Central Committee, succeeding the late Yuri Andropov. 1990 In Ottawa, the United States and its European allies forged an agreement with the Soviet Union and East Germany on a two- stage formula to reunite Germany. 1991 Hundreds of Iraqis were killed by two laser-guided bombs that destroyed an underground facility in Baghdad. U.S. officials identified the facility as a military installation, but Iraqi officials said it was a bomb shelter. 1997 Astronauts on the space shuttle Discovery brought the Hubble Space Telescope aboard for a tune up. The tune up allowed the telescope to see further into the universe. 1999 A bomb exploded just outside a government-owned bank in southern Kosovo. Nine people were killed. 2000 Charles M. Schulz's last original Sunday "Peanuts" comic strip appeared in newspapers. Schulz had died the day before. 2001 El Savador was hit with an earthquake that measured 6.6 on the Richter Scale. At least 400 people were killed. 2002 In Alexandria, VA, John Walker Lindh pled innocent to a 10- count federal indictment. He was charged with conspiring to kill Americans and aiding Osama bin Laden's terrorist network. 2002 Former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani received an honorary knighthood from Queen Elizabeth II. 2008 Roger Clemens denied having taken performance-enhancing drugs in testimony before Congress. 2008 Hollywood writers ended a 100-day strike. 2019 Do smiled. |
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