Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, May 20 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Phoenix man arrested for ramming girlfriend's car with 3 kids inside ___________________________________________________ Today, May 20 in 1927 Charles Lindbergh took off from New York to cross the Atlantic for Paris aboard his airplane the "Spirit of St. Louis." The trip took 33 1/2 hours. 1949 DearWebby was born in Austria ____________________________________________________ There's always somebody who is paid too much, and taxed too little - and it's always somebody else. --- Cullen Hightower ____________________________________________________ The Cohens were shown into the dentist's office, where Mr. Cohen made it clear he was in a big hurry. "No fancy stuff, Doctor," he ordered. "No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with." "I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said the dentist admiringly. "Now, which tooth is it?" Mr. Cohen turned to his wife... "Sarah, show him your tooth!." ____________________________________________________ A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother, Mrs. Goldberg, he has fallen in love and is going to get married. He says to his mother, "Just for fun, Momma, tomorrow I'm going to bring three women to your house to meet you, and you can try and guess which one I'm going to marry." Of course, Mrs. Goldberg agrees. The next day he brings three beautiful women into his mother's house and sits them all down on her couch. They chat for a while with Mrs. Goldberg, who serves them coffee and pastries. That evening, after the three women have left Mrs. Goldberg's home, the son says, "Okay, Momma. Guess which one I'm going to marry." She immediately replies, "The redhead." "That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?" "I don't like her." ____________________________________________________ MY turf ____________________________________________________ Daughter: Mom, Can I have some money for a new dress? Mother: Go ask your father, dear. You are getting married in a month and you need the practise. ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Bryan Swanson, 34, Phoenix, Aeizona, USA Phoenix man arrested for ramming girlfriend's car with 3 kids inside Authorities say a Phoenix man has been arrested after allegedly ramming his girlfriend's car that had his three children inside and then fleeing after the vehicle caught fire. Phoenix police say 34-year-old Bryan Swanson is jailed on suspicion of aggravated assault with a vehicle and three counts of child abuse. Court records show Swanson got into a fight with his girlfriend while they were both driving separate vehicles last Friday morning. Swanson's children -- ages 4, 7 and 11 months -- were in his girlfriend's car. Witnesses say Swanson ran into her vehicle and smoke began coming out of it. They say Swanson fled the scene on foot even though his children were screaming that the car was on fire. Swanson's girlfriend got the three kids out safely. Swanson has been arrested. There is no information about bond being granted. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits FROM: Eddy RE: Phone via landline Dear Webby I used to use my computer for calling out and receiving calls, and even send and receive fax, but with W10 that does not seem to work anymore. Is there a way around that problem? Edd Dear Eddy Yes, nowadays they expect you to have a Sillyphone and connect via that. I don't have one of those either, so I generally use Skype for that. Calling phones is 1 cent (Euro), about 2 US cents, per minute anywhere in the world. You can text SMS to cell phones, though I usually use that feature only if I want to leave a text message when somebody is asleep or away. If the other side has Skype, then the calls are free, and you can toggle to video. I rarely use that feature, since it encourages people to talk a lot longer. Have FUN! DearWebby When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ One day I had to be the bearer of bad news and I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he died from a "massive internal fart." ___________________________________________ A father noticed that his son was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, the father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace." The son replied, "When Lincoln was your age, he was The President of The United States." ____________________________________________ The preacher was having a heart-to-heart talk with a backslider of his flock, whose drinking of moonshine invariably led to quarreling with his neighbors, and occasional shotgun blasts at some of them. "Can't you see, Ben," intoned the parson, "that not one good thing comes out of this drinking?" "Well, I sort of disagree there," replied the backslider. "It makes me miss the folks I shoot at." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, May 20 in 0325 The Ecumenical council was inaugurated by Emperor Constantine in Nicea, Asia Minor. 1303 A peace treaty was signed between England and France over the town of Gascony. 1506 In Spain, Christopher Columbus died in poverty. 1520 Hernando Cortez defeated Spanish troops that had been sent to punish him in Mexico. 1690 England passed the Act of Grace, forgiving followers of James II. 1674 John Sobieski became Polands first King. 1774 Britain's Parliament passed the Coercive Acts to punish the American colonists for their increasingly anti-British behavior. It did not go over well. 1775 North Carolina became the first colony to declare its independence. This is the date that is on the George state flag even though the date of this event has been questioned. 1784 The Peace of Versailles ended a war between France, England, and Holland. 1830 The fountain pen was patented by H.D. Hyde. 1861 North Carolina became the eleventh state to secede from the Union. 1861 During the American Civil War, the capital of the Confederacy was moved from Montgomery, AL, to Richmond, VA. 1873 Levi Strauss began marketing blue jeans with copper rivets. 1875 The International Bureau of Weights and Measures was established. 1899 Jacob German of New York City became the first driver to be arrested for speeding. The posted speed limit was 12 miles per hour. 1902 The U.S. military occupation of Cuba ended. 1902 Cuba gained its independence from Spain. 1916 Norman Rockwells first cover on "The Saturday Evening Post" appeared. 1926 The U.S. Congress passed the Air Commerce Act. The act gave the Department of Commerce the right to license pilots and planes. 1927 Charles Lindbergh took off from New York to cross the Atlantic for Paris aboard his airplane the "Spirit of St. Louis." The trip took 33 1/2 hours. 1930 The first airplane was catapulted from a dirigible. 1932 Amelia Earhart took off to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean. She became the first woman to achieve the feat. 1939 The first telecast over telephone wires was sent from Madison Square Garden to the NBC-TV studios at 30 Rockefeller Center in Manhattan. The event was a bicycle race. 1939 The first regular air-passenger service across the Atlantic Ocean began with the take-off of the "Yankee Clipper" from Port Washington, New York. 1941 Germany invaded Crete by air. 1942 Japan completed the conquest of Burma. 1949 Dear Webby was born in Austria 1961 A white mob attacked the Freedom Riders in Montgomery, AL. The event prompted the federal government to send U.S. marshals. 1969 U.S. and South Vietnamese forces captured Apbia Mountain, which was referred to as Hamburger Hill. 1970 100,000 people marched in New York supporting U.S. policies in Vietnam. 1978 Mavis Hutchinson, at age 53, became the first woman to run across America. It took Hutchinson 69 days to run the 3,000 miles. 1980 The submarine Nautilus was designated as a National Historic Landmark by the U.S. Secretary of the Interior. 1985 The FBI arrested U.S. Navy Chief Petty Officer John Walker. Walker had begun spying for the Soviet Union in 1968. 1990 The Hubble Space Telescope sent back its first photographs. 1996 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down a Colorado measure banning laws that would protect homosexuals from discrimination. 1999 At Heritage High School in Conyers, GA, a 15-year-old student shot and injured six students. He then surrendered to an assistant principal at the school. 2010 Scientists announced that they had created a functional synthetic genome. 2010 Five paintings worth 100 million Euro were stolen from the Muse d'Art Moderne de la Ville de Paris. 2021 Do smiled. |
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