Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, February 27 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Kansas pedo charged with child sex crimes, possession of drugs ___________________________________________________ Today, February 27 in 1827 New Orleans held its first Mardi Gras celebration. ____________________________________________________ What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living. --- Doug Larson ____________________________________________________ An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, either come inside or stay outside!'" ____________________________________________________ Getting the Beach Palms who claim the ballots were too confusing for them, to count them by hand, now THAT is ingenious! I wonder if anybody checked if they have graduated from the Tree Nursery yet? Buffalo Smith ____________________________________________________ Fredericksburg, TX ___________________________________________________ While handing a 25 cent-off coupon to the supermarket clerk at the checkout counter, a woman inadvertently missed her hand, and the coupon slipped beneath the scale and was gone. The checker looked distressed, so the woman said, "That's Okay, it's in coupon heaven now." "Coupon heaven?", the checker said. "Yes", the woman said, "That's where coupons go when they die." "Only the redeemed ones go to heaven!" said the checker. __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jason Cavender, 44, Larned, Kansas, USA Kansas pedo charged with child sex crimes, possession of drugs A 44-year-old Larned man arrested last week following the execution of a search warrant has been charged with child sex crimes and possession of drugs. Last Thursday, Feb. 18, the Pawnee County Sheriff's Department says it searched the home of Jason Cavender after it received a "tip from the organization MotorCity Justice whose goal is to educate parents on the issue of online predators and to expose people that want to meet with children." Cavender is charged with electronic solicitation of a child at least 14, but less than 16 years of age, promoting obscenity to a minor, possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia. If convicted, Cavender faces between 55 and 247 months in prison, depending on his criminal history. Cavender is being held by the Pawnee County Sheriff a $75,000 bond. His next court date is March 11. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Kristina Re: Personalized newsletter Dear Webby, The way you personalize your newsletter sets it even farther above all the others, it makes it twice as funny when I see my own name in there. However, there could be a problem. When mom subscribed her brother, she used a nickname for his first name, something that ONLY SHE ever gets away with using on him. So, when he sees that nickname he sees red. You probably figured by now that he is not too bright and couldn't figure out on his own how to change his subscription name by unsubscribing and then re-subscribing with a different name. I fixed it for him now, but you might consider putting an unsubscribe line higher up in the letter so that people like him can see it before their lips start hurting from all that heavy readin'. But please keep the rest the way you got it. I just love it! Kristina Dear Kristina There is an UNsub link near the top. He can also just hit REPLY and tell me. Have FUN! DearWebby The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember it. Finally she went to the pastor's study and asked for help. The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers, he paused and stared blankly for a moment. Finally, he looked serenely heavenward and his lips moved silently. Then he looked back at the lock, and quickly turned to the final number, and opened the lock. The teacher was amazed, "I'm in awe at your faith, pastor." "It's really quite simple." he mumbled to himself. "The number is on a piece of tape on the ceiling." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ The teacher asked little Johnny, "Can you name four shooting stars?" Little Johnny said, "I sure can. Wyatt Earp, Annie Oakley, Buffalo Bill, and John Wayne." ____________________________________________ Little Do asked dad where they came from. Dad squirmed a bit, but thought it was time for the facts of life. So, Dad told of how the expression of love resulted in the beginning of life, how life developed and finally how a child was born. As Dad told the story, Do's eyes got wider and wider. When Dad was finished, Do said, "Wow, that's really neat. That sure beats what Billy told me. He said that he came from Chicago." ____________________________________________ The man told his doctor he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what's wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "You're just a plain lazy old fart." "Thank You." said the man. "Now give me the medical term, so I can tell my wife!" ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today February 27 in 1700 The Pacific Island of New Britain was discovered. 1827 New Orleans held its first Mardi Gras celebration. 1861 In Warsaw, Russian troops fired on a crowd protesting Russian rule over Poland. Five protesting marchers were killed in the incident. 1883 Oscar Hammerstein patented the first cigar-rolling machine. 1896 The "Charlotte Observer" published a picture of an X-ray photograph made by Dr. H.L. Smith. The photograph showed a perfect picture of all the bones of a hand and a bullet that Smith had placed between the third and fourth fingers in the palm. 1900 In South Africa, the British received an unconditional surrender from Boer Gen. Piet Cronje at Paardeberg. 1922 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the 19th Amendment that guaranteed women the right to vote. 1933 The Reichstag, Germany's parliament building in Berlin, was set afire. The Nazis accused Communists for the fire. 1939 The U.S. Supreme Court outlawed sit-down strikes. 1949 Chaim Weizmann became the first Israeli president. 1951 The 22nd Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified, limiting U.S. Presidents to two terms. 1973 The American Indian Movement occupied Wouned Knee in South Dakota. 1981 Chrysler Corporation was granted an additional $400 million in federal loan guarantees. Chrysler had posted a loss of $1.7 billion in 1980. 1982 Wayne B. Williams was convicted of murdering two of the 28 black children and young adults whose bodies were found in Atlanta, GA, over a two-year period. 1990 The Exxon Corporation and Exxon Shipping were indicted on five criminal counts in reference to the 1989 Exxon Valdez oil spill. 1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush announced live on television that "Kuwait is liberated." 1997 In Ireland, divorce became legal. 2002 In Boston, twenty people working at Logan International Airport were charged with lying to get their jobs or security badges. 2021 Do smiled. |
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