Dear Webby's Humor Letter
widely read, forwarded, copied and imitated daily since 1994
Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
Clean humor and tech tips, updated daily! The Dear Webby Humor Letter is still the best Humor Newsletter and is available in regular HTML and large font HTML for vision impaired readers. The Dear Webby Humor newsletter is sent from a server that has a Listed Sender ID, proper SPF record, and matching forward and reverse DNS. It has an approved privacy policy and full contact information. The Dear Webby Humor Letter is strictly Double Opt-In and is not on any blacklist. No advertising mails are sent from this address or IP number. If you are not receiving your subscription, click here.
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  Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, Nov 11 __________________________________________________  ____________________________________________________ History: Today, Nov 11, in 1987, Vincent Van Gogh's "Irises" was sold for a then record 53.9 million dollars in New York. __________________________________________________ Q Reality is something you rise above. --- Liza Minnelli (1946 - ) ___________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ BONEHEAD AWARD  Hospital Malfunction  _______________________________________________________ "The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called them music."! _______________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ A woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. The psychic's eyelids begin fluttering, her voice begins warbling, her hands float up above the table, and she begins moaning. Eventually, a coherent voice emanates, saying, "Granddaughter? Are you there?" he customer, wide-eyed and on the edge of her seat, responds, "Grandmother? Is that you?" "Yes granddaughter, it's me." "It's really, really you, grandmother?", the woman repeats. "Yes, it's really me, granddaughter." The woman looks puzzled, "You're sure it's you, grandmother?" "Yes, granddaughter, I'm sure it's me." The woman pauses a moment, "Grandmother, I have just one question for you." "Anything, my child." "Grandmother, when did you learn to speak English?" ___________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________ The airplane took off with a full load of passengers. Ten minutes into the flight the loud speaker announced: Good afternoon ladies and gentleman. You are privileged to be riding on the very first pilotless flight. Do not panic. This flight is backed by the finest technology in the world today. It has been planned by the United States Army and is sanctioned by the United States Government. Absolutely nothing can go wrong..go wrong..go wrong..go wrong... ___________________________________________________  DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Elaine Re: PDF Converter Dear DearWebby I have written to you before without success but thought I would try again. I maintain a member list for a non profit group but the head agency sends PDF. I need to be able to use the info in different ways so convert to a doc format. I have used one I found online but it is limited to the number of free uses. Wondering if you know of any free converter without having to purchase a bells and whistles program that I don't need. Many Thanks - have been a subscriber for many years and read every day !! Have even used the odd tip !!! Elaine  Dear Elaine Just use Open Office WRITE. It will do all that and a ton more. Have FUN! DearWebby  _________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________  Oilfields Hospital Black Diamond, Alberta Canada  Gross incompetence at the local hospital  On Friday around 3:00 am I had a bad diabetic malfunction, resulting in a bad "Fall down-Go Boom". When trying to get up, I knocked over my clothes closet and knocked out all electricity. I am pretty skilled with messsing with electricity, but not in the dark. So I injected some insulin and went to bed. Around 8:00 it was light enough, so that I could fix the electricity. Crawled into my office and went onto Skype asking for help. Gloria, a friend from 30 years in the Yukon, but now living on Pender Island south of Vancouver Island responded. Unfortunately, Microschlop blocks the RCMP. Dumb Bastids!!! So Gloria went onto FaceBook and contacted the RCMP in Black Diamond. Shortly after that a friendly but very concerned RCMP officer shook me awake and told me that Gloria was worried about me and that he was suggesting that he haul me to the hospital. My wallet holding my ID was not where I expected it to be, but the good officer told me not to worry. So he dragged me into his car and took me to the hospital. The nurse there tried to get uppity about no health care card. So the officer patted the RCMP logo on his chest, and the uppity nurse suddendly started cooperating. I suggested she contact Zoe, my beautiul and very competent Diabetic nurse. Within seconds I was logged in. Then they did all the tests, that they had ever heard about, EKG, A1C, etc. I inisted that they check glucose, which should be the first test on all Diabetics. 19.8 Should be 7.8 So I told her to give me 15 units of insuling and a coffee. She found some insulin, but argued about the coffee. GRRRRRR! After 2 days of gross incompetence like that, and no coffee and no food, I insisted that they let me escape. Barb, my contact, works at COSTCO, where they are not allowed to use phones. RCMP to the rescue again. They found Barb's hubby woking north of Millarville and an hour later he showed up at the hospital with his thermos mug of coffee. Quite UNlike the bimbo-malfunctions at the hospital, Richard is quite competent. Next on the agenda is trying to find my wallet. _________________________________________________ History On November 11, in 1620, The Mayflower Compact was signed by the 41 men on the Mayflower when they landed in what is now Provincetown Harbor near Cape Cod. The compact called for "just and equal laws." 1831, Nat Turner, a slave and educated minister, was hanged in Jerusalem, VA, after inciting a violent slave uprising. 1851, The telescope was patented by Alvan Clark. 1868, The first indoor amateur track and field meet was held by the New York Athletic Club. 1880, Australian outlaw and bank robber Ned Kelly was hanged at the Melbourne jail at age 25. 1887, Labor Activists were hanged in Illinois after being convicted of being connected to a bombing that killed eight police officers. 1889, Washington became the 42nd state of the United States. 1918, World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's Day in the United States. 1918, Poland was reestablished shortly after the surrender of Germany. 1920, The body of an unknown British soldier was buried in Westminster Abbey. The service was recorded with the first electronic recording process developed by Lionel Guest and H.O. Merriman. 1921, The Tomb of the Unknowns was dedicated at Arlington Cemetery in Virginia by U.S. President Harding. 1938, Kate Smith first sang Irving Berlin's "God Bless America" on network radio. 1940, The Jeep made its debut. 1942, During World War II, Germany completed its occupation of France. 1946, The New York Knickerbockers (now the Knicks) played their first game at Madison Square Garden. 1952, The first video recorder was demonstrated by John Mullin and Wayne Johnson in Beverly Hills, CA. 1965, The government of Rhodesia declared its independence from Britain. The country later became known as Zimbabwe. 1965, Walt Disney announced a project in Florida. 1966, The U.S. launched Gemini 12 from Cape Kennedy, FL. The craft circled the Earth 59 times before returning. 1972, The U.S. Army turned over its base at Long Bihn to the South Vietnamese army. The event symbolized the end of direct involvement in the Vietnam War by the U.S. military. 1975, Civil war broke out when Angola gained independence from Portugal. 1981, Stuntman Dan Goodwin scaled the outside of the 100-story John Hancock Center in Chicago in about six hours. 1981, The U.S.S. Ohio was commissioned at the Electric Boat Division in Groton, CT. It was the first Trident class submarine. 1984, U.S. President Ronald Reagan accepted the Vietnam Veterans Memorial as a gift to the nation from the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund. 1984, Gary Coleman, at age 13, underwent his second kidney transplant in Los Angeles. He had his first transplant at age 5. 1986, Sperry Rand and Burroughs merged to form "Unisys," becoming the second largest computer company. 1987, Vincent Van Gogh's "Irises" was sold for a then record 53.9 million dollars in New York. 1988, Police in Sacramento, CA, found the first of seven bodies buried on the grounds of a boardinghouse. Dorothea Puente was later charged in the deaths of nine people, convicted of three murders and sentenced to life in prison. 1990, Stormie Jones, the world's first heart-liver transplant recipient, died at a Pittsburgh hospital at age 13. 1991, The U.S. stationed its first diplomat in Cambodia in 16 years to help the nation arrange democratic elections. 1992, Russian President Boris Yeltsin told U.S. senators in a letter that Americans had been held in prison camps after World War II. Some were "summarily executed," but others were still living in his country voluntarily. 1992, The Church of England voted to ordain women as priests. 1993, Walt Disney Co. announced plans to build a U.S. history theme park in a Virginia suburb of Washington. The plan was halted later due to local opposition. 1993, In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Women's Memorial was dedicated to honor the more than 11,000 women who had served in the Vietnam War. 1994, In Gaza, a suicide bomber detonated his explosives at an Israeli military checkpoint killing three soldiers. 1996, The Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund unveiled "The Wall That Heals." The work was a half-scale replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial that would tour communities throughout the United States. 1997, The Eastman Kodak Company announced that they were laying off 10,000 employees. 1997, Roger Clemens (Toronto Blue Jays) became the third major league player to win the Cy Young Award four times. 1998, Jay Cochrane set a record for the longest blindfolded skywalk. He walked on a tightrope between the towers of the Flamingo Hilton in Las Vegas, NV. The towers are 600 feet apart. 1998, Israel's Cabinet ratified a land-for-peace agreement with the Palestinians. 2002, Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates pledged $100 million to fight AIDS in India. 2023, Do! Smiled. Have Fun Dearwebby 

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