Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, November 18 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Madera County man convicted of killing estranged wife sentenced to life in prison without parole. ___________________________________________________ Today, November 18 in 1928 The first successful sound-synchronized animated cartoon premiered in New York. It was Walt Disney's "Steamboat Willie," starring Mickey Mouse. ____________________________________________________ A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done. --- Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890 - 1969) My theory is that if you look confident you can pull off anything - even if you have no clue what you're doing. --- Jessica Alba A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul. --- George Bernard Shaw The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. --- Will Rogers ____________________________________________________ Thinking about technology, I knew of a lady who wanted a picture touched up of her late husband. She asked the photographer to take the hat off her husband's head in the picture, as well. He asked her, on her way out the door, what side her husband parted his hair on. She thought for a minute, and then said that she didn't remember, but he'd find out when he took the hat off. ____________________________________________________ Is that YOU? ____________________________________________________ From a few years ago: Now Hillary is trying to get in on the action. Her suggestions: Take all American women who are within five years of menopause - train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna - drop us (with parachutes, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes naturally. Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even armed men in turbans tremble. And hell hath no fury or annoyance like a woman whose Prozak has run out. We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect them and their future. We'd like to get away from our husbands, if they haven't left already. And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding a good man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning. We have nothing to lose. We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and never lost a pound. We can easily survive a few months in the terrain of Afghanistan with no food at all! We have spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardware stores, or sporting events...finding bin Laden in some cave will be no problem. Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Oh, please ... we've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and extended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand tribal warfare. Between us, we have divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is for how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources. We know how to find that money and we know how to seize it ... with or without the government's help! Let us go and fight. The Taliban hate women. Imagine their terror as we rip through their towns, fashionably dressed in old sumo wrestler sweat suits, curlers in our two-tone hair, and green mud-packs on our faces! ====From Xanthippe Yeah for the women! My ex-husband sure thinks I am ready for the Virago Patrol, and since I am too far out of shape for the Godiva patrol, sign me up! NOW!!! Xanthippe==== ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Julio Garay, 50, MADERA COUNTY, California, USA Madera County man convicted of killing estranged wife sentenced to life in prison without parole The 50-year-old found out when she was taking their three boys to a medical appointment, went there, and gunned her down right in front of the kids. The man who tracked down and killed his estranged wife in front of her three children outside a Madera County health clinic will spend the rest of his life in prison. A Madera County judge sentenced Julio Garay to life in prison without parole on Wednesday morning. Officials say Julio Garay found out from the Government when she was taking their three boys to a medical appointment, went there, and gunned her down right in front of the kids. In her final act, she used her body to protect her children from the gunfire aimed at her by the man who abused her and hunted her. This trial is about a selfless mother who sacrificed everything. Judge Blea called the killer a narcissist and some other choice words. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Roberta Re: Patriot Riders Dear Webby You used to have frequent links to that group of bikers, who rode to escort military funerals and protect them from the Kansas Baptist nut cases. Are they still alive, or have they fizzled? I want to know if they would come to my area, and what is required to become a member. I know how to ride a bike, but since my husband totaled our Harley, I just got a Honda. Thanks! Roberta Dear Roberta You don't need a Harley, actually, you don't even need a bike. Even if you just drive a Kia or a Ford Pinto, as long as you can somehow attach a flag, you are welcome. A page size flag on the antenna is fine. Their site is at https://www.patriotguard.org/ and you can join for free. They will tell you if they have a chapter in your town or area. Just contact them and tell them which funeral you are concerned about. They are good people. By the way, the weirdos of the Westboro Baptist Church are not real baptists, and the real Baptist Church has absolutely nothing to do with them beyond telling them to go to hell. Have FUN! DearWebby If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work, Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! | _____________________________________________ A sergeant in a parachute regiment regularly took part in night-time exercises. One night he was seated next to a lieutenant, fresh from Jump School. He was quiet, sad, and looked a bit pale, so the sergeant struck up a conversation. "Scared, Lieutenant?", he asked. "No, just a bit apprehensive," said the lieutenant. The sergeant asked, "What's the difference?" The Lieutenant replied, "That means I'm too chicken to admit that I am scared!" ______________________________________________ Thanks to Dawn for this one: A psychology instructor was surveying his class on the amount of sex they had. "How many have sex twice a week" he first asked. Many hands go up and after jotting it down, the instructor asks "how many of you have sex once a week?" Still, a lot of hands go up. The instructor continues to ask the same question but with different times: once every other week, once every two weeks, once every month, every other month, every six months and finally, once a year. As he asks the questions, the number of hands raised gets smaller and smaller until the last question got just one respondent. The instructor was surprised and said to the student: "you only have sex once a year?" The smiling student nodded. "If that's so, then why are you smiling?" the instructor asked. "'Cause tonight's the night!" the student replied. ______________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. | A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor, noticing that the previous bill hadn't been paid, instructed the collections manager to contact the customer. The collections manager made the call and left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one." The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call from the customer who said, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long." ___________________________________________________ Today, November 18, in 1477 William Caxton produced "Dictes or Sayengis of the Philosophres," which was the first book to be printed in England. 1820 Captain Nathaniel Palmer became the first American to sight the continent of Antarctica. 1865 Samuel L. Clemens published "The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County" under the pen name "Mark Twain" in the New York "Saturday Press." 1883 The U.S. and Canada adopted a system of standard time zones. 1903 The U.S. and Panama signed a treaty that granted the U.S. rights to build the Panama Canal. 1916 Douglas Haig, commander of the British Expeditionary Force in World War I, called off the Battle of the Somme in France. The offensive began on July 1, 1916. 1928 The first successful sound-synchronized animated cartoon premiered in New York. It was Walt Disney's "Steamboat Willie," starring Mickey Mouse. 1936 Germany and Italy recognized the Spanish government of Francisco Franco. 1959 William Wyler's "Ben-Hur" premiered at Loew's Theater in New York City's Times Square. 1966 U.S. Roman Catholic bishops did away with the rule against eating meat on Fridays. 1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles "Pete" Conrad Jr. and Alan L. Bean landed on the lunar surface during the second manned mission to the moon. 1976 The parliament of Spain approved a bill that established a democracy after 37 years of dictatorship. 1983 Argentina announced its ability to produce enriched uranium for use in nuclear weapons. 1987 The U.S. Congress issued the Iran-Contra Affair report. The report said that President Ronald Reagan bore "ultimate responsibility" for wrongdoing by his aides. 1987 CBS Inc. announced it had agreed to sell its record division to Sony Corp. for about $2 billion. 1988 U.S. President Reagan signed major legislation providing the death penalty for drug traffickers who kill. 1993 The U.S. House of Representatives joined the U.S. Senate in approving legislation aimed at protecting abortion facilities, staff and patients. 1993 American Airlines flight attendants went on strike. They ended their strike only 4 days later. 1993 Representatives from 21 South African political parties approved a new constitution. 1997 First Union Corp. announced its purchase of CoreStates Financial Corp. for $16.1 billion. To date it was the largest banking deal in U.S. history. 2021 Do smiled. |
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Go to TOP Well, Do , that's all for today.
Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name, or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me. I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly from then on. If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me. I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request. To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to [email protected] If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time, then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription. If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html You can also UNsubscribe there. If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter, please unsubscribe by clicking the link below: You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address: [email protected] UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter | . |