Good Morning, Do, Today is Wednesday, April 11 Smallblessings.com is for sale: $100 You can use it for anything you want. Offer expires on 4/22/2018 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida woman arrested for beating up husband for forgetting wedding anniversary Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, April 11 in 1783 After receiving a copy of the provisional treaty on March 13, the U.S. Congress proclaimed a formal end to hostilities with Great Britain. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything. --- Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931) "It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently." --- Warren Buffett _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Linda Little Suzie ran into the house, crying as though her heart would break. "What's wrong, dear?" asked her mother. "My doll! Johnny broke it!" she sobbed. "How did he break it, Suzie?" "When I hit him over the head with it." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ A mother was teaching her three-year-old The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, the child repeated it after the mother. Then one night the child was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride to the carefully enunciated words, right up to the end. "And lead us not into templates, but deliver us some e-mail. " _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Carol Stone, 35, Zephyrhills, Florida Florida woman arrested for beating up husband for forgetting wedding anniversary Deputies arrested a Florida woman after she allegedly attacked her husband because he forgot the date of their wedding anniversary. Carol Stone, 35, of Zephyrhills, faces a misdemeanor charge of domestic battery after Pasco County deputies arrested her Wednesday, according to Tampa's WTVT. Stone's husband told authorities the assault started as verbal dispute when he told her he forgot their anniversary. Stone later confirmed his story to deputies during questioning, according to authorities. That argument escalated when Stone started smacking her husband repeatedly in the head and face, scratching him and shoving him onto the ground, according to the Pasco County Sheriff's Office. According to the Land O' Lakes Patch, Stone's husband recorded the attack on his phone. Deputies booked Stone into the Land O' Lakes Detention Center on a $150 bond. Tech Support Pits From: Bev Re: Panoramic picture Dear Webby, For some reason I cannot get this web jpg on an old Humor Letter to open. http://webby.com/humor/i/MtEverest1.jpg It only opens the top portion of the photo. I tried both of the links you includud, but both had the same results. I look forward to you humor everyday. Thanks, Bev Dear Bev That picture is over 4,100 pixels wide. When your browser shrinks it to 800, or whatever the width of your browser is, naturally the height shrinks proportionally. Depending on which browser you use, you can hold down CTRL and roll the scroll wheel on the mouse and change the zoom level. Keep in mind, that picture is actually quite huge, and zoom changes won't be instant. The picture is actually a dozen shots pasted together. If you print it on 4 foot high poster stock, you could paste them all around a 10 foot by 10 foot room. Then you could stand in the middle of the room and have the same view Roddy had, when he stood up there and slowly turned 360 degrees while snapping a dozen pictures. Have FUN DearWebby An elderly fellow was taken to the hospital for an examination of his circulatory system. When he got home, his wife asked what had happened. He said, "They worked this gadget into my artery and up into my heart, and then they sucked out thirty years of chocolate cake." Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating a proposal. "Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asked a friend. "Your chances are better," said the friend, "if you tell her you're 90." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
How can you easily determine how much dirt there is in an oblong hole three feet deep at one end and two feet deep at the other end, and four feet wide at one end and two feet wide at the other end? Answer tomorrow ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Fixing Tweezers Have your tweezers flattened out and lost their spring? Close the tweezers with a pencil placed halfway between the hinge and the points to increase the bend. Then they should grip again. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Tim for this one: My wife and I went to a "Dude Ranch" while in Texas. The cowboy preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or English saddle, and she asked what the difference was. He told her one had a horn and other one didn't, she replied, "The one without the horn is fine. I don't expect we'll run into too much traffic out here." ------------ The "horn" on a saddle is used by cowboys to loop the rope around when they lassoo cattle. Newbies also use it to hang on. | Only slightly exaggerated - travel Oregon |
___________________________________________________ A young man walked into our insurance office to purchase coverage for his new motorcycle. Only one question confused him. "Do you have a lien holder on the vehicle?" "I've got a kickstand," the prospect replied. "Is that the same thing?" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, April 11 in 1512 The forces of the Holy League were heavily defeated by the French at the Battle of Ravenna. 1689 William III and Mary II were crowned as joint sovereigns of Britain. 1713 The Treaty of Utrecht was signed, ending the War of Spanish Succession. 1783 After receiving a copy of the provisional treaty on March 13, the U.S. Congress proclaimed a formal end to hostilities with Great Britain. 1803 A twin-screw propeller steamboat was patented by John Stevens. 1814 Napoleon was forced to abdicate his throne. The allied European nations had marched into Paris on March 30, 1814. He was banished to the island of Elba. 1876 The stenotype was patented by John C. Zachos. 1876 The Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks was organized. 1898 U.S. President William McKinley asked Congress for a declaration of war with Spain. 1899 The treaty ending the Spanish-American War was declared in effect. 1921 Iowa became the first state to impose a cigarette tax. 1921 The first live sports event on radio took place this day on KDKA Radio. The event was a boxing match between Johnny Ray and Johnny Dundee. 1901 Construction on the Empire State Building was completed. The building was dedicated and opened on May 1, 1931. 1940 Andrew Ponzi set a world's record in a New York billiards tournament when he ran 127 balls straight. 1941 German bombers blitzed Conventry, England. 1945 U.S. troops reached the Elbe River in Germany. 1945 During World War II, American soldiers liberated the Nazi concentration camp of Buchenwald in Germany. 1948 The discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls was announced in a general press release. 1951 U.S. President Truman fired General Douglas MacArthur as head of United Nations forces in Korea. 1961 Israel began the trial of Adolf Eichman, accused of World War II war crimes. 1970 Apollo 13 blasted off on a mission to the moon that was disrupted when an explosion crippled the spacecraft. The astronauts did return safely. 1974 The Judiciary committee subpoenad U.S. President Richard Nixon to produce tapes for impeachment inquiry. 1979 Idi Amin was deposed as president of Uganda as rebels and exiles backed by Tanzanian forces seized control. 1980 The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission issued regulations specifically prohibiting sexual harassment of workers by supervisors. 1981 U.S. President Ronald Reagan returned to the White House from the hospital after recovering from an assassination attempt on March 30. 1981 In the Brixton area of London, a race riot erupted that resulted in the injury of more than 300 people. 1984 China invaded Vietnam. 1984 General Secretary Konstantin U. Cherenkov was named president of the Soviet Union. 1985 Scientists in Hawaii measured the distance between the earth and moon within one inch. 1985 The White House announced that President Reagan would visit the Nazi cemetery at Bitburg. 1986 Dodge Morgan sailed solo nonstop around the world in 150 days. 1986 In Groton, CT, the submarine Nautilus exhibit opened to the public. 1986 Kellogg's stopped giving tours of its breakfast-food plant. The reason for the end of the 80-year tradition was said to be that company secrets were at risk due to spies from other cereal companies. 1991 U.N. Security Council issued a formal cease-fire with Iraq. 1996 Forty-three African nations signed the African Nuclear Weapons Free Zone Treaty. 1999 Daouda Malam Wanke was designated president of Niger. President Ibrahim Bar Manassara had been assassinated on April 9. 2001 China agreed to release 24 crewmembers of a U.S. surveillance plane. The EP-3E Navy crew had been held since April 1 on Hainon, where the plane had made an emergency landing after an in-flight collision with a Chinese fighter jet. The Chinese pilot was missing and presumed dead. 2018 Do smiled. |
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