Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, February 24 ___________________________________________________ Today, February 24 in 1932 10 years before Pearl Harbor Robert Short became the first American to die in an aerial battle with the Japanese. ______________________________________________________ Speak the truth, but leave immediately after. --- Slovenian Proverb Ability will never catch up with the demand for it. --- Malcolm Forbes (1919 - 1990) ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Arrest made in human trafficking case __________________________________________ A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the ship had left port and was streaming out of the channel. The ensign's efficiency has been remarkable. In fact, the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way. The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain. He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read, "My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed. In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the unwritten rules -- make sure the Captain is aboard before getting under way." __________________________________________ __________________________________________ When Emma's parents threatened to forbid her to see her boyfriend unless she told them why he'd been there so late the night before, she began to talk. "Well, I took him into the loving room, and..." "That's living, dear," her mother said. "Now you're telling me!" came the answer. ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Arrest made in human trafficking case Michael A. Anderson, 54, Topeka, Kansas The Kansas Bureau of Investigation (KBI) made an arrest Monday following an eight-month-long investigation into suspected human trafficking. At approximately 6:30 a.m. on February 17th, KBI agents arrested 54-year-old Michael A. Anderson of Topeka. Anderson was arrested without incident at a home in the 600 block of SW 9th Street in Topeka. He was arrested for rape, aggravated kidnapping and aggravated battery. He was booked into the Shawnee County Department of Corrections, where formal charges are pending. After the arrest, KBI agents and the Crime Scene Response Team served a search warrant at the residence. The Kansas Highway Patrol assisted in securing the scene. The investigation is ongoing and additional arrests are anticipated. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Gyppo Re: Anothger basic word processor Dear Webby May I suggest another alternative text editor for those wishing to avoid bloated office programmes laden with 'enhanced' features you don't need. I use Jarte from Carolina road Software. It uses the 'engine' from Wordpad, so it stays compatible with whatever version of Windows you are running, but you can set it up as either a fully featured processor, a more basic version, or a lean mean writing tool with a minimal interface. You can turn off all the stuff you don't need and never see it again. The basic version is free. Yours forever. It has all the features you'd expect but without nag screens, crippled features, or the junk stuff we've come to expect from 'free' programmes. If you want to buy a version with a few extras it's not expensive. Support is good too, if you need it. I've been using it since early in this century. It's worth a look Jarte.com Gyppo Thanks, Gyppo! Have FUN! DearWebby
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____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________ The police recently busted a man selling ' secret formula' tablets he claimed gave eternal youth. When going through their files they noticed it was the fifth time he was caught for commiting this same criminal medical fraud. He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856, 1928 and 1983. _____________________________________________ Why is a member of Congress like a shotgun with a broken firing pin? It won't work and you can't fire it. ____________________________________________ Mister, why doesn't this cow have any horns?" asked the young lady from a nearby city. The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, "Well, ma'am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep'em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young 'uns by puttin' a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops 'em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason this cow don't have no horns, ma'am, is 'cause it's a horse." ____________________________________________ | No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today February 24 in 1803 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled itself to be the final interpreter of all constitutional issues. 1835 "Siwinowe Kesibwi" (The Shawnee Sun) was issued as the first Indian language monthly publication in the U.S. 1839 Mr. William S. Otis received a patent for the steam shovel. 1866 In Washington, DC, an American flag made entirely of American bunting was displayed for the first time. 1868 The U.S. House of Representatives impeached President Andrew Johnson due to his attempt to dismiss Secretary of War Edwin M. Stanton. The U.S. Senate later acquitted Johnson. 1886 Thomas Edison and Mina Miller were married. 1900 New York City Mayor Van Wyck signed the contract to begin work on New York's first rapid transit tunnel. The tunnel would link Manhattan and Brooklyn. The ground breaking ceremony was on March 24, 1900. 1903 In Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, an area was leased to the U.S. for a naval base. 1925 A thermit was used for the first time. It was used to break up a 250,000-ton ice jam that had clogged the St. Lawrence River near Waddington, NY. 1938 The first nylon bristle toothbrush was made. It was the first time that nylon yarn had been used commercially. 1942 The U.S. Government stopped shipments of all 12- gauge shotguns for sporting use for the wartime effort. 1942 The Voice of America (VOA) aired for the first time. 1945 During World War II, the Philippine capital of Manilla, was liberated by U.S. soldiers. 1946 Juan Peron was elected president of Argentina. 1956 The city of Cleveland invoked a 1931 law that barred people under the age of 18 from dancing in public without an adult guardian. 1980 NBC premiered the TV movie "Harper Valley P.T.A." 1981 Buckingham Palace announced the engagement of Britain's Prince Charles to Lady Diana Spencer. 1983 A U.S.congressional commission released a report that condemned the internment of Japanese-Americans during World War II. 1987 An exploding supernova was discovered in the Large Magellanic Cloud galaxy. 1988 The U.S. Supreme Court overturned a $200,000 award to Rev. Jerry Falwell that had been won against "Hustler" magazine. The ruling expanded legal protections for parody and satire. 1989 Irans Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini sentenced Salman Rushdie to death for his novel "The Satanic Verses". A bounty of one to three-million-dollars was also put on Rushidie's head. 1989 A United Airlines 747 jet rips open in flight killing 9 people. The flight was from Honolulu to New Zealand. 1997 The U.S. The Food and Drug Administration named six brands of birth control as safe and effective "morning- after" pills for preventing pregnancy. 1999 In southeast China, a domestic airliner crashed killing all 64 passengers. 2008 Cuba's parliament named Raul Castro president. His brother Fidel had ruled for nearly 50 years. 2020 Do smiled. |
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