| Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, March 20, 2023 ___________________________________________________ History: on this day, March 20, in 1854, The Republican Party was organized in Ripon, WI. About 50 slavery opponents began the new political group. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Aurora man charged in Naperville shooting __________________________________________________ Q We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don't know. --- W. H. Auden (1907 - 1973) I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778) ________________________________________________ In dire need of a beauty make-over, Nancy went to her salon with a fashion magazine photo of a gorgeous, young, lustrous haired model. She showed the stylist the trendy new cut she wanted and settled into the chair as he began humming a catchy tune and got to work on her thin, graying hair. Nancy was delighted by his cheerful attitude until she recognized the melody. It was the theme from "Mission Impossible." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ They call a bride's new husband a groom. A groom is also a term applied to a fellow who works in a stable. Does this mean a marriage should automatically be very stable. 0r is it that they expect you to have to yell so much you'll be a little horse? ____________________________________________ Melvin Horowitz was feeling ill at work, and left after lunch to go home. He walked into the house and found his wife Fanny in the arms of another man. He started to yell at the interloper, "What right have you got to be making love to my wife?" The man answered calmly, "You may as well know that I am in love with Fanny, and I would like to marry her. I understand you're a gambler. Why don't you be a good sport and sit down and play a game of gin rummy with me? If I lose, I'll never see her again; if you lose, you must agree to divorce her.... Okay?" "Okay," replied Horowitz, "but just to make it a little more interesting, why don't we also play for a dollar a point?" _________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ A real smooth talker who prided himself on being the ladies man finally met his match one night. The smooth talker had just learned that his father only had days to live and that he would inherit over ten million dollars. Overjoyed at the promised wealth, he celebrated at the local bar, where he just happened to see a drop dead gorgeous busty, long legged blonde. Of course, he couldn't wait to work his charms on her and indeed she was so interested in him, they went back to his house together. The next day she became his stepmother. ________________________________________________ Many years ago, my father was visiting America from Europe, for the very first time. He said he wanted to go with me to the supermarket, so I invited him along. As he went up & down the aisles with me, at the local Giant Food Store, he constantly asked me questions about products he saw. "Vas dis?? Powdered orange juice??" asked my dad . said, "Yeah, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh orange juice." A few minutes later, in a different aisle, dad blurted out, "Und vas dis?? Powdered milk?" . I said, "Yeah, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh milk!" A few minutes later, in a different aisle, my dad yelled out, "Und give a look here!! Baby Powder!! Vat a country, vat a country!" ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ The detective was leafing through the suspect's crime history folder. "Hmmm, quite a record." he said. "Shoplifting, hit-and- run, disorderly conduct, armed robbery, sexual assault, sexual assault, rape, manslaughter..." "Yeah, I know." said the prisoner. "It took me quite a while to figure out what I was good at." ___________________________________________________ When the family car develops a slight knock, a father asks his son if he had bought high-octane or regular gas the last time he took the car out, but the boy can't remember. "You probably got the cheaper gas," his father says. "That could account for the engine running so rough." "No, the gas wasn't cheaper," the boy says. "Well, how much did it cost?" "It cost the same as always," says his son. "I put in the usual 10 dollars worth." __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by James Barnett, 27, Aurora, Illinois, USA Aurora man charged in Naperville shooting An Aurora man is under arrest in connection to a shooting that happened in downtown Naperville on March 11. 27-year-old James Barnett is charged with armed habitual criminal, aggravated battery, and unlawful possession of a weapon by a felon. He was picked up by police on a warrant Thursday. The DuPage County State's Attorney's Office alleges that Barnett had gotten into an argument with someone before shooting them in the leg and then fleeing the scene. Police say it happened at around 11:35 PM behind an establishment on Jefferson Avenue in downtown Naperville. Barnett's bond was denied by a DuPage County judge on Friday. He's due back in court on April 11. _________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Mary Re: Online paying Dear Webby How safe is online paying of bills, like the phone bill or Internet bill? Thanks Mary Dear Mary That is quite safe. For other purchases, just use common sense. Is it a respectable company and close enough, so that you can visit them with a rolling pin? With distant companies I check to see if they accept PayPal. If they don't, then use extra caution. If they accept PayPal.then PayPal will fight for you, if there is a problem. ______________________________________________________ Today, March 20 in 0141, The 6th recorded perihelion passage of Halley's Comet took place. 1413, Henry V took the throne of England upon the death of his father Henry IV. 1525, Paris' parliament began its pursuit of Protestants. 1602, The United Dutch East Indian Company (VOC) was formed. 1616, Walter Raleigh was released from Tower of London to seek gold in Guyana. 1627, France & Spain signed an accord for fighting Protestantism. 1739, In India, Nadir Shah of Persia occupied Delhi and stole the Peacock throne. 1760, The great fire of Boston destroyed 349 buildings. 1792, In Paris, the Legislative Assembly approved the use of the guillotine. 1800, French army defeated the Turks at Helipolis, Turkey, and advanced into Cairo. 1814, Prince Willem Frederik became the monarch of Netherlands. 1815, Napoleon Bonaparte entered Paris after his escape from Elba and began his "Hundred Days" rule. 1816, The U.S. Supreme Court affirmed its right to review state court decisions. 1833, The U.S. and Siam signed a commercial treaty. 1852, Harriet Beecher Stowes book "Uncle Toms Cabin," subtitled "Life Among the Lowly," was first published. 1854, The Republican Party was organized in Ripon, WI. About 50 slavery opponents began the new political group. 1865, A plan by John Wilkes Booth to abduct U.S. President Abraham Lincoln was ruined when Lincoln changed his plans and did not appear at the Soldiers Home near Washington, DC. 1868, Jesse James Gang robbed a bank in Russelville, KY, of $14,000. 1883, The Unity treaty of Paris was signed to protect industrial property. 1885, John Matzeliger of Suriname patented the shoe lacing machine. 1886, The first AC power plant in the U.S. began commercial operation. 1888, The Sherlock Holmes Adventure, "A Scandal in Bohemia," began. 1890, The General Federation of Womans' Clubs was founded. 1891, The first computing scale company was incorporated in Dayton, OH. 1896, U.S. Marines landed in Nicaragua to protect U.S. citizens in the wake of a revolution. 1897, The first U.S. orthodox Jewish Rabbinical seminary was incorporated in New York. 1897, The first intercollegiate basketball game that used five players per team was held. The contest was Yale versus Pennsylvania. Yale won by a score of 32-10. 1899, At Sing Sing prison, Martha M. Place became the first woman to be executed in the electric chair. She was put to death for the murder of her stepdaughter. 1900, It was announced that European powers had agreed to keep China's doors open to trade. 1902, France and Russia acknowledged the Anglo-Japanese alliance. They also asserted their right to protect their interests in China and Korea. 1903, In Paris, paintings by Henri Matisse were shown at the "Salon des Independants". 1906, In Russia, army officers mutiny at Sevastopol. 1911, The National Squash Tennis Association was formed in New York City. 1914, The first international figure skating championship was held in New Haven, CT. 1915, The French called off the Champagne offensive on the Western Front. 1918, The Bolsheviks of the Soviet Union asked for American aid to rebuild their army. 1922, U.S. President Warren G. Harding ordered U.S. troops back from the Rhineland. 1922, The USS Langley was commissioned. It was the first aircraft carrier for the U.S. Navy. 1932, The German dirigible, Graf Zepplin, made the first flight to South America on regular schedule. 1933, The first German concentration camp was completed at Dachau. 1934, Rudolf Kuhnold gave a demonstration of radar in Kiel Germany. 1940, The British Royal Air Force conducted an all-night air raid on the Nazi airbase at Sylt, Germany. 1943, The Allies attacked Field Marshall Erwin Rommel's forces on the Mareth Line in North Africa. 1947, A blue whale weighing 180-metric tons was caught in the South Atlantic. 1952, The U.S. Senate ratified a peace treaty with Japan. 1956, Mount Bezymianny on Kamchatka Peninsula (USSR) exploded. 1956, Tunisia gained independence from France. 1963, The first "Pop Art" exhibit began in New York City. 1964, The ESRO (European Space Research Organization) was established. 1965, U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson ordered 4,000 troops to protect the Selma-Montgomery civil rights marchers. 1967, Twiggy arrived in the U.S. for a one-week stay. 1969, U.S. Senator Edward Kennedy called on the U.S. to close all bases in Taiwan. 1972, 19 mountain climbers were killed on Japan's Mount Fuji during an avalanche. 1976, Patricia Hearst was convicted of armed robbery for her role in the hold up of a San Francisco Bank. 1980, The U.S. made an appeal to the International Court concerning the American Hostages in Iran. 1981, Argentine ex-president Isabel Peron was sentenced to eight years in a convent. 1982, U.S. scientists' returned from Antarctica with the first land mammal fossils found there. 1984, The U.S. Senate rejected an amendment to permit spoken prayer in public schools. 1985, For the first time in its 99-year history, Avon representatives received a salary. Up to that time they had been paid solely on commissions. 1985, CBS-TV presented "The Romance of Betty Boop." 1985, Libby Riddles won the 1,135-mile Anchorage-to-Nome dog race becoming the first woman to win the Iditarod. 1987, The U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved AZT. The drug was proven to slow the progress of AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome). 1990, Namibia became an independent nation ending 75 years of South African rule. 1990, Imelda Marcos, widow of ex-Philippines dictator Ferdinand Marcos, went on trial for racketeering, embezzlement and bribery. 1990, In Rumania, tanks were sent to the town of Tirgu Mures to quell ethnic riots. 1991, The U.S. Supreme Court ruled unanimously that employers could not exclude women from jobs where exposure to toxic chemicals could potentially damage a fetus. 1991, The U.S. forgave $2 billion in loans to Poland. 1992, Janice Pennington was awarded $1.3 million for accident on the set of the "Price is Right" TV show. 1993, Russian President Boris Yeltsin declared emergency rule. He set a referendum on whether the people trusted him or the hard-line Congress to govern. 1993, An Irish Republican Army bomb was detonated in Warrington, England. A 3-year-old boy and a 12-year-old boy were killed. 1995, About 35,000 Turkish troops crossed the northern border of Iraq in pursuit of the separatist rebels of the Kurdistan Workers Party (PKK). 1995, In Tokyo, 12 people were killed and more than 5,500 others were sickened when packages containing the nerve gas Sarin was released on five separate subway trains. The terrorists belonged to a doomsday cult in Japan. 1996, In Los Angeles, Erik and Lyle Menendez were found guilty of first-degree murder in the killing of their parents. 1996, The U.K. announced that humans could catch CJD (Mad Cow Disease). 1997, Liggett Group, the maker of Chesterfield cigarettes, settled 22 state lawsuits by admitting the industry marketed cigarettes to teenagers and agreed to warn on every pack that smoking is addictive. 1998, India's new Hindu nationalist-led government pledges to "exercise the option to induct nuclear weapons." 1999, Bertrand Piccard and Brian Jones became the first men to circumnavigate the Earth in a hot air balloon. The non- stop trip began on March 3 and covered 26,500 miles. 1999, Legoland California opened Carlsbad, California. 2000, Former Black Panther Jamil Abdullah Al-Amin, once known as H. Rap Brown, was captured following a shootout that left a sherriff's deputy dead. 2002, Actress Pamela Anderson disclosed that she had hepatitis C. 2002, Arthur Andersen pled innocent to charges that it had shredded documents and deleted computer files related to the energy company Enron. 2003, Cisco Systems Inc. announced it was buying The Linksys Group INc. for $500 million in stock. 2003, U.S. and British forces invaded Iraq from Kuwait. 2019, Europe's antitrust regulators fined Google $1.7 billion for freezing out rivals in the online advertising business. 2019, Disney acquired the rights to 21st Century Fox. Fox Corporation was formed with the remaining assets. 2023, Do smiled.
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