Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, March 7 ___________________________________________________ Today, March 7 in 1989 Poland accused the Soviet Union of a World War II massacre in Katyn, where they shot all Poles who had been officers or had graduated from college. The Soviet Union eventually admitted that, and built a memorial. They then invited the Polish intelligentsia and politicians to the grand opening. Their plane crashed near the Katyn airport with all passengers killed. ______________________________________________________ Perhaps in time the so-called dark ages will be thought of as including our own. --- georg christoph lichtenberg (1742 - 1799) the law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. --- anatole france (1844 - 1924) ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Man gets up to 775 years in prison for filming sex abuse of infant __________________________________________ There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great," he said: "I want to write stuff the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation and anger!" He now works for Microsoft writing error messages. __________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for sending this picture: __________________________________________ A Christian evangelist driving down a Virginia turnpike is pulled over for speeding. The trooper smells alcohol in the vehicle and sees an empty wine bottle on the floor. The officer asks the cleric: "Have you been drinking, sir?" "Only water, officer," the minister says. "Then why do I distinctly smell wine in your car?" The minister looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!" ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Richard Smith, 41. Charleston West Virginia Man gets up to 775 years in prison for filming sex abuse of infant A West Virginia man convicted of filming an infant being sexually abused will likely spend life in prison. Kanawha Circuit Judge Tera Salango sentenced Richard Smith II, 41, on Wednesday to serve between 205 and 775 years behind bars. Smith was convicted last month of 11 counts of first-degree sexual abuse, four counts of sexual assault and five counts of sexual abuse by a parent, guardian, custodian or person in position of trust. After handing down the sentence, Salango told Smith the videos he made that jurors had to watch brought grown men to tears, the Charleston Gazette-Mail reported. I think that you are one of the most evil persons who Ive ever encountered, Salango said. Smith declined to speak before being sentenced. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Sharon Re: Online grocery shopping Dear Webby, My favorite grocery store offers online shopping and delivery. With the Corona virus out there, that becomes more and more interesting. The kids picking and delivering the groceries seem to be quite safe. How safe is my credit card? Sharon Dear Sharon Your credit card is as safe as when you use it in the store. You can print out your order, and if there is a difference between that and what shows on your credit card statement, you can raise a fuss. However, I have never heard of any problem with online grocery shopping. Have FUN! DearWebby
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____________________________________________________ Comes the time in a boy's life when Dad sits him down for the "big talk." One father's approach: "Son," he says, "you'll soon have urges and feelings you've never had before. Your heart will pound and your hands will sweat. You'll be preoccupied and you won't be able to think of anything else. "But don't worry," he says, "it's perfectly normal -- it's called golf." | | Vegetarian's Nightmare |
_____________________________________________ Consider the factory-working wizard who was pushed over the edge by others taking his parking space. He posted the following sign: "This parking space belongs to the Wizard. Violators will be toad." _____________________________________________ Think of the fellow who wanted to be dismissed from jury duty. He tried every excuse to no avail. On the day of the trial he decided to give it one more shot. "Your Honor," he said, " I must be excused from this trial because I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man over there with those beady eyes and that twisted smile and I said to myself, 'He's a crook! He's guilty, guilty, guilty.' So your Honor, I could not possibly stay on this jury." "Get back in the jury box," the judge said. "That's the prosecutor." ____________________________________________ Calling his physician for results of a physical examination, a man was disheartened to heard there was some bad news -- and some truly bad news. "Give me the bad news first," he told the doctor. "Well, we got your test results back and -- unfortunately -- you have only 24 hours to live." "That's terrible -- what could be worse?" "We tried to call you two days ago." ____________________________________________ | No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today March 7 in 0322 BC Aristotle, the Greek philosopher, died. 1774 The British closed the port of Boston to all commerce. It did not go over well. 1799 In Palestine, Napoleon captured Jaffa and his men massacred more than 2,000 Albanian prisoners. 1848 In Hawaii, the Great Mahele was signed. 1849 The Austrian Reichstag was dissolved. 1850 U.S. Senator Daniel Webster endorsed the Compromise of 1850 as a method of preserving the Union. 1854 Charles Miller received a patent for the sewing machine. 1876 Alexander Graham Bell received a patent (U.S. Patent No. 174,465) for his telephone. 1901 A grand jury indicted four citizens of Anderson, SC, that had been operating a slavery system in parts of South Carolina. It was determined that many African-Americans were captured while traveling, were jailed and then sent to work for local landowners. 1904 The Japanese bombed the Russian town of Vladivostok. 1904 In Springfield, OH, a mob broke into a jail and shot a black man accused of murder. 1906 Finland granted women the right to vote. 1908 Cincinnati's Mayor Leopold Markbreit announced before the city council that, "Women are not physically fit to operate automobiles." 1911 Willis Farnworth patented the coin-operated locker. 1911 In the wake of the Mexican Revolution, the U.S. sent 20,000 troops to the border of Mexico. 1918 Finland signed an alliance treaty with Germany. 1925 The Soviet Red Army occupied Outer Mongolia. 1927 A Texas law that banned Negroes from voting was ruled unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court. 1933 CBS radio debuted "Marie The Little French Princess." It was the first daytime radio serial. 1933 The board game Monopoly was invented. 1935 Malcolm Campbell set an auto speed record of 276.8 mph in Florida. 1936 Hitler sent German troops into the formerly German Rhineland in violation of the Locarno Pact and the Treaty of Versailles. 1942 Japanese troops landed on New Guinea. 1945 During World War II, U.S. forces crossed the Rhine River at Remagen, Germany. 1947 John L. Lewis declared that only a totalitarian regime could prevent strikes. 1951 U.N. forces in Korea under General Matthew Ridgeway launched Operation Ripper against the Chinese. 1954 Russia appeared for the first time in ice-hockey competition. Russia defeated Canada 7-2 to win the world ice-hockey title in Stockholm, Sweden. 1955 "Peter Pan" was presented as a television special for the first time. 1959 Melvin C. Garlow became the first pilot to fly over a million miles in jet airplanes. 1965 State troopers and a sheriff's posse broke up a march by civil rights demonstrators in Selma, AL. 1968 The Battle of Saigon came to an end. 1971 A thousand U.S. planes bombed Cambodia and Laos. 1975 The U.S. Senate revised the filibuster rule. The new rule allowed 60 senators to limit debate instead of the previous two-thirds. 1981 Anti-government guerrillas in Colombia executed the kidnapped American Bible translator Chester Allen Bitterman. The guerrillas accused Bitterman of being a CIA agent. 1985 The first AIDS antibody test, an ELISA-type test, was released. 1989 Poland accused the Soviet Union of a World War II massacre in Katyn, where they shot all Poles who had been officers or had graduated from college. The Soviet Union eventually admitted that, and built a memorial. They then invited the Polish intelligentsia and politicians to the gran opening. Their plane crashed near the Katyn airport with all passengers killed. 1994 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that parodies that poke fun at an original work can be considered "fair use" that does not require permission from the copyright holder. 1994 In Moldova, a referendum was rejected by 90% of voters to form a union with Rumania. 1999 In El Salvador, Francisco Flores Prez of the ruling Nationalist Republican Alliance (Arena) was elected president. 2002 A federal judge awarded Anna Nicole Smith more than $88 million in damages. The ruling was the latest in a legal battle over the estate of Smith's late husband, J. Howard Marshall II. 2003 Scientists at the Stanford Linear Accelerator Center announced that they had transferred 6.7 gigabytes of uncompressed data from Sunnvale, CA, to Amsterdam, Netherlands, in 58 seconds. The data was sent via fiber- optic cables and traveled 6,800 miles. 2009 NASA's Kepler Mission, a space photometer for searching for extrasolar planets in the Milky Way galaxy, was launched from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, Florida. 2020 Do smiled. |
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