Good Morning, Do, Today is Thursday, November 2 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Mom Accused Of Driving Minivan With Son And Plastic Pool Tied To Top Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, November 2 in 1883 Thomas Edison executed a patent application for an electrical indicator using the Edison effect lamp (U.S. Pat. 307,031). We still use that as the "Idiot Light" in cars. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ The more things change, the more they remain... insane. --- Michael Fry and T. Lewis, First things first, but not necessarily in that order. --- Doctor Who ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ WOMEN'S DAILY PRAYER Dear God, Thank you for making me healthy, Can you also make me sexy? If you can't make me sexy, PLEASE make all my friends fat. Amen. _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room where, much to the groom's annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love-making. Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn't quit it. The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn't close a large suitcase. The groom said, "Darling, you get on top and I'll try." That didn't work. Figuring they needed more weight on the lid, she said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I'll try." Still no success. Then he said, "Look. Let's both get on top and try." At that point, the parrot yanked away the towel and said, "Zoo or no zoo. This I gotta see!!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Amber Schmunk, 28, Fredonia Wisconsin Mom Accused Of Driving Minivan With Son And Plastic Pool Tied To Top A mother in Wisconsin is facing a felony charge of recklessly endangering safety after she allegedly strapped her 9-year-old son to the top of a minivan on top of a plastic pool. Amber Schmunk, 28, of Fredonia was charged earlier this month for the September 9 incident, which started after officers received a call reporting a child on top of a vehicle holding down a plastic pool, according to the Ozaukee Press. A witness later reported seeing Schmunk pull over and take the child off the minivan roof and wedge the pool inside the vehicle before dropping it off at her sister's house, according to WTMJ TV. Officers who arrived on scene questioned Schmunk about her son's alleged wild ride. They said she admitted the boy had been on top of the minivan on the road but only for a short time, maybe 20-30 seconds, according to WITI TV. Schmunk allegedly told authorities she had picked up a molded plastic pool at another house, but didn't have enough room inside the minivan. She allegedly said she decided to put the pool on top of the minivan, but had no way to strap it down, so she had her child climb on the roof and hold it down while she drove, according to a police report obtained by WITI TV. Police said Schmunk told them she thought her actions were OK, since her dad let her do things like that when she was nine. She added that her son was safe on top of the minivan she tied him down with a strap on top of the pool, according to WDJT TV. Schmunk is due in court on Nov. 14. If convicted, she faces up to five years in prison and five years of extended supervision, according to the Ozaukee Press. ------------- I know the kid was perfectly safe. Most of us did MUCH more adventurous stuff, but nowadays, political correctness overrules common sense, and she will have to pay the consequences. No more standing on the roof and trimming overhanging branches with a chainsaw or riding on top of a load of firewood. That is not politically correct, even though most of us have done it without any worry. I hope she gets off with probation. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Erika Re: Old music Dear Webby, I'm dressing up a geneology site my aunt did, and I need some really old music. I don't mean Beethoven on CD, but popular music from the early days of recording. Where can I find that kind of music? Erika Dear Erika The earliest popular recordings were probably the 78 RPM laquer records. You can download music taken off those records from http://www.archive.org/details/78rpm For best results, save the MP3 file to your computer and then play it, instead of streaming it. Just scrolling down the menu gives you an idea of their load. It is amzing what you can find, for example "I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas by Vicki Dale; The Peter Pan Orchestra" Or the Collected works of Caruso, all originals without amplifaction or studio effects or editing. That will knock your socks off! Unlike tyoday's screechers, Caruso eally could sing! Please keep in mind that if even just 1% of all Humor Letter subscribers go there at the same time, that site will be totally overloaded. Just save the link and try later. Have FUN! DearWebby A swimming instructor at a Los Angeles university was quizzing a group of female students on Red Cross life saving and water safety techniques. They answered all of her questions easily until she posed this one: "Which article of clothing would you remove last if you fell from a boat or dock fully clothed?" Everyone mentioned something different. It was evident that no one knew the correct answer, so the instructor helped out. "The blouse," she said, "because the air gets under the blouse and acts like a buoy!" The subsequent uproar ended the class. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Thanks to Alf for this: My wife's from the Midwest. Very nice people there. Very wholesome. They use words like Cripes. For Cripe's sake. Who would that be, Jesus Cripes? The son of Gosh? of the church of Holy Moly. I'm not making fun of it. You think I wanna burn in Heck? ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keeping the Toothpaste Tube Clean Tired of having a squished toothpaste tube with a messy tip? The simple solution is squeezing from the bottom. Then put the cap back on the toothpaste tube and roll up the empty tube as you use it. When you squeeze the tube from the bottom, more of the excess toothpaste is sucked back into the tube. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ Darling," a husband whispered to his wife late one night, "if I died, would you get married again?" "I suppose so," she replied. "Would you sleep in the same bed with him?" "Well, it's the only bed in the house, so I have no choice." "Would you make love to him?" "Honey," the woman said patiently, "he would be my husband." "Would you give him my car?" "No," she yawned, "He can't drive a manual transmission car." __________________________________________________ | | Women warriors who served wine on the battlefields and fought alongside the men. |
With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says "not yet." A little later they ask again to see the baby. Again the mother says "not yet." Finally they say, "When can we see the baby?" And the mother says, "When the baby cries." They all ask, "Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?" The new mother says, "because I forgot where I put it." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be held against you, you do not have the right to have an attorney present. You may now kiss the bride. ____________________________________________________ | Today, November 2, in 1721 Peter the Great (Peter I), ruler of Russia, changed his title to emperor. 1776 During the American Revolutionary War, William Demont, became the first traitor of the American Revolution when he deserted. 1783 U.S. Gen. George Washington gave his "Farewell Address to the Army" near Princeton, NJ. 1867 "Harpers Bazaar" magazine was founded. 1883 Thomas Edison executed a patent application for an electrical indicator using the Edison effect lamp (U.S. Pat. 307,031). We still use that as the "Idiot Light" in cars. 1895 In Chicago, IL, the first gasoline powered car contest took place in America. 1917 British Foreign Secretary Arthur Balfour expressed support for a "national home" for the Jews of Palestine. 1920 The first commercial radio station in the U.S., KDKA of Pittsburgh, PA, began regular broadcasting. 1921 Margaret Sanger's National Birth Control League combined with Mary Ware Denetts Voluntary Parenthood League to form the American Birth Control League. 1930 Haile Selassie was crowned emperor of Ethiopia. 1930 The DuPont Company announced the first synthetic rubber. It was named DuPrene. 1947 Howard Hughes flew his "Spruce Goose," a huge wooden airplane, for eight minutes in California. It was the plane's first and only flight. The "Spruce Goose," nicknamed because of the white-gray color of the spruce used to build it, never went into production. 1959 Charles Van Doren, a game show contestant on the NBC-TV program "Twenty-One" admitted that he had been given questions and answers in advance. 1962 U.S. President Kennedy announced that the U.S.S.R. was dismantling the missile sites in Cuba. 1963 South Vietnamese President Ngo Dihn Diem was assassinated in a military coup. 1966 The Cuban Adjustment Act allows 123,000 Cubans per year to apply for permanent residence in the U.S. 1979 Joanna Chesimard, a black militant escaped from a New Jersey prison, where she'd been serving a life sentence for the 1973 murder of a New Jersey state trooper. 1984 Velma Barfield became the first woman to be executed in the U.S. since 1962. She had been convicted of the poisoning death of her boyfriend. 1985 The South African government imposed severe restrictions on television, radio and newspaper coverage of unrest by both local and foreign journalists. 1986 The 12-by-16-inch celluloid of a poison apple from Walt Disney's "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"" was purchased for $30,800. 1986 American hostage David Jacobson was released after being held in Lebanon for 17 months by Shiite Muslims kidnappers. 1989 Carmen Fasanella retired after 68 years and 243 days of taxicab service in Princeton, NJ. 1992 Magic Johnson retired from the NBA again, this time for good because of fear due to his HIV infection. 1993 The U.S. Senate called for full disclosure of Senator Bob Packwood's diaries in a sexual harassment probe. 1995 The U.S. expelled Daiwa Bank Ltd. for allegedly covering up $1.1 billion in trading losses. 1998 U.S. President Clinton gave his first in-depth interview since the White House sex scandal to Black Entertainment Television talk show host and political commentator Tavis Smiley on the network's "BET Tonight with Tavis Smiley." 2001 The computer-animated movie "Monsters, Inc." opened. The film recorded the best debut ever for an animated film and the 6th best of all time. 2003 In the U.S., the Episcopal Church diocese consecrated the church's first openly gay bishop. 2017 Do smiled. |
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