Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, August 25 _____________________________________________________ Today, August 25 in 1972 In Great Britain, computerized axial tomography (CAT scan) was introduced. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Ex-Con Punched Woman At McDonalds Drive-Thru _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose. --- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995) You get fifteen democrats in a room, and you get twenty opinions. --- Senator Patrick Leahy (1940 - ) _______________________________________________ A friend of mine has a daughter who started out as a psych major then switched to English Lit. After that, she tried pre-law, which was followed by international affairs, history, and at present, she's in philosophy. She may never graduate, but she's unbeatable at Trivial Pursuit. ________________________________________________` Thanks to Linda for this picture: _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Sherman Lee Brown, 34, Ex-Con Punched Woman At McDonalds Drive-Thru Incensed that he did not receive his McDonald's food quickly enough, a 220-pound ex-con punched a female drive-thru employee in the face, according to Florida police who arrested the man this week on multiple felony charges. According to cops, Sherman Lee Brown, 34, slugged the victim during a 3:30 AM confrontation at a McDonald's in Leesburg, a city 45 miles north of Orlando. Brown, seen at right, was a passenger in his girlfriend's car on July 30 when he became angry at the waiting time in the drive-thru lane. Brown, cops allege, exited the vehicle and began yelling at the occupants in the car ahead of him in line. Upon reaching the drive-thru window, Brown then directed his ire at McDonald's employees, using "derogatory words such as 'cracker'" and shouting that they Hurry the fuck up, according to an arrest affidavit. The victim, cops say, told Brown she "was not going to serve him if he continued shouting and then asked the defendant to leave the property. With that, Brown allegedly again exited his girlfriend's car and threatened to hit the female worker. When the woman sought to close the drive-thru's sliding window, cops charge, Brown struck her in the face. The blow knocked the woman's glasses off and left her with an abrasion on her lip and "redness and swelling on her right cheek and eye." Aided by surveillance video, police identified Brown as a suspect in the attack. The McDonald's worker subsequently picked him out of a photo lineup. Brown was charged Wednesday with three felonies, including burglary and battery. He was released from the Lake County jail after posting $29,000 bond, and is scheduled for arraignment on September 16. Brown's rap sheet overflows with convictions and includes terms of incarceration in state prison and county jails. He has been convicted of domestic battery by strangulation; burglary; violating probation; aggravated stalking; violating a protective order; theft; marijuana possession; cocaine possession; possession of cocaine with intent to sell; resisting police; possession of controlled substances; possession of drug paraphernalia; and driving without a license. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Dorothy Re: Not getting subscriptions Dear Webby, still no humor letter for today. I'm lost with out, it any help? thanks, Dorothy Dear Dorothy You ARE subscribed, and the Humor Letter goes out to you every night. Either you or Verizon is blocking it. If it is not you, screech a temper tantrum at Verizon. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. There are two polite people having dinner together. On the table there is a dish with one big piece of fish and one small piece of fish. They politely say to each other: "You may choose first." "No, you may choose first." And this goes on for a while. Then the first person says: "OK, I'll take first." And he takes the BIG piece of fish. The second person: "Why did you take the big piece? That's not polite!" The first person says: "Which piece would *you* have taken?" The second person replies: "Why, I would have taken the SMALL piece, of course." The first person says: "Well, that's what you have now!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Thanks to Ken for this story: My wife and I were traveling on the #2 in Alberta, bucking 60 m.p.h. crosswinds and slowing down to a crawl whenever the wind blew a sheet of snow across the highway or when a semi passed us and made the highway invisible. It was almost a relief when a Mountie stopped us. He was diplomatic and didn't accuse us of being drunk, but he did suggest that we pull off the highway at the next motel and wait until the highway had been cleared. I asked him, "What do you people do in when the wind quits?" The mountie grinned and didn't miss a beat."Well, I just leave these two 50 pound ammo belts in the car. My wife takes her spare car battery out of her purse." -------------------------- Awww, it's not that bad. Just don't wear loose clothing or your clothing might be traveling a lot faster than you. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Restaurant Nutritional Information If you are watching your weight, be sure to check out the nutritional information online before eating out. Most restaurant chains post this information on their corporate website. Just type the name of restaurant and "nutrition information" into your favorite search engine. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ | | Poetry by Bonnie and Clyde. |
___________________________________________________ The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, "I do, ... Why?" The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you would like to know that your horse is about dead outside!" The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside, and sure enough, Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water, and soon, Silver was starting to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better." Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe," and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his beer. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, "Who owns that big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, "I do, what's wrong with him this time?" The cowboy looks him in the eye and says, "Nothing, but you left your Injun runnin'." ___________________________________________________ There was a gentleman in the hospital bed next to me. He was covered with bandages from head to toe. I said to him, "What do you do for a living?" He said, "I'm a former window washer." I asked, "When did you give it up?" He replied, "Halfway down." ___________________________________________________ Little Johnny burst through the front door with a smile on his face. Surprised that Johnny was home so early, his mother asked, "Why are you home from school so early?" Johnny answered, "I was the only one who could answer a question." "Oh, really? What was the question?" his mother asked. "Who threw the blackboard eraser at the teacher?" __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, August 25 in 1718 Hundreds of colonists from France arrived in Louisiana. Some settled in present-day New Orleans. 1814 The U.S. Library of Congress was destroyed by British forces. 1825 Uruguay declared independence from Brazil. 1840 Joseph Gibbons received a patent for the seeding machine. 1875 Captain Matthew Webb swam from Dover, England, to Calais, France making him the first person to swim the English Channel. The feat took about 22 hours. 1920 The first airplane to fly from New York to Alaska arrived in Nome. 1921 The U.S. signed a peace treaty with Germany. 1939 The movie "Wizard of Oz" opened around the United States. 1940 Arno Rudolphi and Ann Hayward were married while suspended in parachutes at the World's Fair in New York City. 1941 Soviet and British troops invaded Iran. This was in reaction to the Shah's refusal to reduce the number of German residents. 1941 Allied forces invaded Iran. Within four days the Soviet Union and England controlled Iran. 1941 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt signed the bill appropriating funds for construction of the Pentagon. 1944 Paris, France, was liberated by Allied forces ending four years of German occupation. 1944 Romania saw who was winning WWII and declared war on Germany. 1949 NBC Radio debuted "Father Knows Best." The show went to TV in 1954. 1950 U.S. President Truman ordered the seizure of U.S. railroads to avert a strike. 1972 In Great Britain, computerized axial tomography (CAT scan) was introduced. 1978 The Turin shroud believed to be the burial cloth of Jesus Christ went on display for the first time in 45 years. 1981 The U.S. Voyager 2 sent back pictures and data about Saturn. The craft came within 63,000 miles of the planet. 1983 The U.S. and the Soviet Union signed a $10 billion grain pact that ended US and Canadian grain exports to the Soviet Union. 1987 Saudi Arabia denounced the "group of terrorists" that ran the Iranian government. 1988 Iran and Iraq began talks in Geneva after ending their eight years of war. 1990 Military action was authorized by the United Nations to enforce the trade embargo that had been placed on Iraq after their invasion of Kuwait. 1991 Belorussia declared independence from the Soviet Union. 1992 It was reported by researchers that cigarette smoking significantly increased the risk of developing cataracts. 1993 The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed at 3,652.09, an all- time high. 1995 Harry Wu, human rights activist, returned to the United States. He said the spying case against him in China was "all lies." 1997 The tobacco industry agreed to an $11.3 billion settlement with the state of Florida. 1998 A survey released said that 1/3 of Americans use the Internet. 2019 Do smiled. |
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