Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, December 4 The Gavle Goat, the huge straw goat in Sweden, is up! They have a web cam working intermittently at http://visitgavle.se/sv/gavlebocken It is working a bit once in a while, but they definitely need some help. Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award: Man says he's not required to register vehicle due to personal beliefs. Jailed now ______________________________________________________ Today, December 4 in 1993 The Angolan government and its UNITA guerrilla foes formally adopted terms for a truce. The conflict was killing an estimated 1,000 people per day. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible. --- Jean Kerr If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure? --- Harry Shearer ______________________________________________________ >From Lise My five children and I were playing hide-and-seek one evening. With the lights turned off in the house, the kids scattered to hide, and I was "it." After a few minutes I located all of them. When it was my turn to hide, they searched high and low but couldn't find me. Finally one of my sons got a bright idea. He went to the phone and dialed; they found me immediately because my phone started beeping. ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: At the banquet of their 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single!" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ On the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Billy-Bob decided to forego a big party and treat Linda-Sue to a memorable evening at home. Quietly filling the bathtub with champagne, he called her into the bathroom and they spent a sensual evening soaking in the tub by candlelight. When they were finished, Billy-Bob decided he couldn't let all that expensive champagne go to waste, so he carefully poured it back into the empty bottles. However, when he was finished, he found he had nearly a half-bottle too much. ______________________________________________________ Lake michigan _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Steven Logan Lincoln, Nebraska Man says he's not required to register vehicle due to personal beliefs Lincoln Police arrested a 35-year-old-man for failing to comply with an officer during a traffic stop when he said he didn't have to register his vehicle due to personal beliefs. Officers pulled over Steven Logan near 42nd and Baldwin streets on Nov. 29th, shortly after 9 p.m. After parking his car, police say Logan starting walking away from his vehicle. The officer told him to stop but he refused and kept walking so the officer grabbed Logan's arm. The officer then noticed Logan had a firearm and detained him. When asked for his identification, he told the officer that due to his personal beliefs, he's not required to register his vehicle. He was arrested for failing to comply, no insurance and no valid registration. From: Kathy Re: Not receiving newsletter Dear Webby, Why haven't I been getting any emails from you I haven't gotten any in a while now Dear Kathy Your subscription goes out to kg*****@gmail.com Check your spam and trash and categories. You can search ALL MAIL You might have to make a filter to ensure GMAIL does not put your Humor Letter anywhere else but in the INBOX. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong. She must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The vicar spoke to Jane in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
When you're hospitalized, it pays to be nice to your nurse, even when you're feeling miserable. A bossy businessman learned this the hard way after ordering his nurses around as if they were his employees. But the head nurse stood up to him. One morning she entered his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. "No, I'm sorry," the nurse stated," but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his bottom. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay just like that until I get back!" She left the door to his room open on her way out, and he cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door laughing. After almost an hour, the man's doctor came into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor. Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" "Yes," said the doctor. "But never with a carnation." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Save Old Toothbrushes Save old toothbrushes to use in your cleaning kit and tool box. Hard bristled toothbrushes work well for cleaning stubborn grout or hard to reach places. Soft bristled toothbrushes are effective on jewelry. They are useful for a variety of cleaning jobs. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | Peter Jackson's Restored and Colorized WW1 Film is Unlike Anything I've Seen |
___________________________________________________ Soon after I retired from the Air Force, I went to work in a warehouse where several other military retirees were employed. One day we received a large crate too big to fit in our storage area. A retired Army sergeant major immediately took charge. After 45 minutes of rearranging items and using various lifting devices, he finally got the crate in place. "And that's how the Army gets things done!" he boasted. "That's the Army way," said an Air Force retiree. "The Air Force would have made the delivery person put the crate away and gone for coffee." ___________________________________________________ >From Ann Today Is Not a Good Day Today is not a good day. I woke up sick in bed. My stomach has a stabbing pain thats spreading to my head. My knees are weak and achy. My eyes are full of flu. I fear I may contaminate; I have a fever too. I cannot see. I cannot breathe. I cannot read or write. My eyes are shut. My nose is blocked. Im not a pretty sight. I cannot lift a finger or move a tired toe. My throat is hot and scratchy. The answers simply NO . . . I cannot go to school today; Im awfully sorry too, this had to happen on the day my book report was due. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
1812 Peter Gaillard patented the power mower. 1867 The National Grange of Husbandry was founded. 1875 William Marcy Tweed, the "Boss" of New York City's Tammany Hall political organization, escaped from jail and fled from the U.S. 1918 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson set sail for France to attend the Versailles Peace Conference. Wilson became the first chief executive to travel to Europe while in office. 1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered the dismantling of the Works Progress Administration. The program had been created in order to provide jobs during the Great Depression. 1942 U.S. bombers attacked the Italian mainland for the first time during World War II. 1943 Baseball Commissioner Kenesaw Mountain Landis announced that any club was free to employ black players. 1945 The U.S. Senate approved American participation in the United Nations. 1965 The U.S. launched Gemini 7 with Air Force Lt. Col. Frank Borman and Navy Comdr. James A. Lovell on board. 1973 Pioneer 10 reached Jupiter. 1977 Jean-Bedel Bokassa, ruler of the Central African Empire, crowned himself emperor in a ceremony believed to have cost more than $100 million. He was deposed 2 years later. 1978 Dianne Feinstein became San Francisco's first woman mayor when she was named to replace George Moscone, who had been murdered. 1979 For the second time, the United Nations Security Council voted unanimously to urge Iran to free American hostages that had been taken on November 4. 1980 The bodies of four American nuns slain in El Salvador two days earlier were unearthed. Five national guardsmen were later convicted of the murders. 1983 U.S. jet fighters struck Syrian anti-aircraft positions in Lebanon in retaliation for attacks directed at American reconnaissance planes. Navy Lt. Robert O. Goodman Jr. was shot down and captured by Syria. 1984 A five-day hijack drama began as four men seized a Kuwaiti airliner en route to Pakistan and forced it to land in Tehran. Two American passengers were killed by the hijackers. 1986 Both U.S. houses of Congress moved to establish special committees to conduct their own investigations of the Iran-Contra affair. 1987 Cuban inmates at a federal prison in Atlanta freed their 89 hostages, peacefully ending an 11-day uprising. 1988 The government of Argentina announced that hundreds of heavily armed soldiers had ended a four-day military revolt. 1990 Iraq promised to release 3,300 Soviet citizens it was holding. 1991 Associated Press correspondent Terry Anderson was released after nearly seven years in captivity in Lebanon. 1991 Pan American World Airways ceased operations. 1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered American troops to lead a mercy mission to Somalia. 1993 The Angolan government and its UNITA guerrilla foes formally adopted terms for a truce. The conflict was killing an estimated 1,000 people per day. 1994 Bosnian Serbs released 53 out of about 400 UN peacekeepers they were holding as insurance against further NATO airstrikes. 1997 The National Basketball Association (NBA) suspended Latrell Sprewell of the Golden State Warriors for one year for choking and threatening to kill his coach, P.J. Carlesimo. 2000 O.J. Simpson was involved in an incident with another motorist in Miami, FL. Simpson was accused of scratching the other motorists face while pulling off the man's glasses. 2001 O.J. Simpson's home in Florida was raided by the FBI in an ongoing two year international investigation into drug trafficking, satellite service pilfering and money laundering. An unused satellite TV tuner kit was taken from Simpson's home and no drugs were found. 2018 Do smiled. |
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