Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, April 22 ______________________________________________________ Today, April 22 in 1889 At noon, the Oklahoma land rush officially started as thousands of Americans raced for new, unclaimed land. The "Sooners" were already there or on the way. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Armed Iowa Burglar taken into custody at gunpoint ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Times have not become more violent. They have just become more televised. --- Marilyn Manson (1969 - ) If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either. --- Dick Cavett (1936 - ) _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asks. "Sweetheart," she sobs, "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out the oven to season it, and the phone rang. When I came back from answering the phone," she sobbed again "I found that the cat had eaten it!" "Don't worry, darling," said her husband. "Don't cry. we'll get a new cat tomorrow." ______________________________________________________` _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Anthony Stephen Akers, 20, Tiffin, Iowa Armed Iowa Burglar taken into custody at gunpoint A Tiffin man faces two burglary charges after police say he and two juveniles broke into multiple apartment units and were taken into custody at gunpoint in Iowa City on Saturday. Police responded to the 600 block of Westwinds Dr. after witnesses reported people breaking into several units in the apartments on the west side of town near Iowa City West High School. According to a complaint, officers discovered the suspects as they were running away, made contact and then the suspects "were taken into custody at gunpoint." Police say one of the juveniles they apprehended had a black pistol which was later determined to be a C02 pistol. Police say Anthony Stephen Akers, 20, was apprehended with a backpack containing two bags with around nine ounces of marijuana in each bag. Officers also found a crescent wrench in his possession. Akers allegedly admitted to owning the backpack. He was transported to the Johnson County Jail where he's being held on a $9,000 bond. From: Re: No Question Dear Dear No Answer Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. "I'd like you to be very quiet today, boys and girls. I have a dreadful headache," the teacher said. "Excuse me," said Little Johnny, "why don't you do what my mom does when she has a headache?" "What's that?" asked the teacher. "She tells us to go play outside." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
I was at a stop light, behind a car with a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus." I honked. The driver leaned out his window, flipped me the bird, and yelled, "Can't you see the light is still red, you moron?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Plant Cuttings for Gifts I often give plants that I have started from cuttings as gifts. To brighten these up, I use a water pic from the florist with one or 2 blossoms from my yard to add a bit of color. I stick the pic into the soil, and make a bow that matches in color or compliments the flowers or the pot and voila! Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | Indoor skydiving gold metal winner of 2018. |
___________________________________________________ "I was married 3 times" explained the woman to a newly discovered drinking partner, "and I'll never marry again. My first 2 husbands died of eating poison mushrooms and my 3rd hubby died of a fractured skull." "That's a shame." said her friend , "How did it happen?" "He wouldn't eat the mushrooms." ___________________________________________________ At the start of a meeting of world religious leaders, a secretary rushed in shouting. "The building is on fire" The Methodists gathered in a corner and prayed The Baptists cried "Where is the water?" The Quakers quietly praised God for the blessings that fire brings The Lutherans posted a fire notice on the door The Catholics passed the plate to cover the damage The Jews sprinted to the parking lot to beat the rush. The Congregationalists shouted "Every man for himself!" The Fundamentalists proclaimed "It's the vengeance of God" The Episcopalians formed a procession and marched out The Christian Scientists concluded that there was no fire. The Unitarians proclaimed the fire had no power over them. The Presbyterians appointed a chairperson to appoint a committee to look into the matter and submit a written report. The secretary grabbed the fire extinguisher and put the fire out. The Mormons arrived late for the meeting and missed the fire completely. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
The middle-aged man was shuffling along, bent over at the waist, as his wife helped him into the doctor's waiting room. A woman in the office viewed the scene in sympathy. "Arthritis with complications?" she asked. The wife shook her head, "Noooo....Do-it-yourself," she explained, "with concrete blocks." ___________________________________________________ | Today April 22 in 1500 Portuguese navigator Pedro Alvares Cabral accidentally discovered Brazil. 1509 Henry VIII ascended to the throne of England upon the death of his father Henry VII. 1529 Spain and Portugal divided the eastern hemisphere in the Treaty of Saragosa. 1745 The Peace of Fussen was signed, restoring the status quo of Germany. 1792 U.S. President George Washington proclaimed American neutrality in the war in Europe. 1861 Robert E. Lee was named commander of Virginia forces. 1864 The U.S. Congress passed legislation that allowed the inscription "In God We Trust" to be included on one-cent and two-cent coins. 1889 At noon, the Oklahoma land rush officially started as thousands of Americans raced for new, unclaimed land. The "Sooners" were already there or on the way. 1898 The first shot of the Spanish-American war occurred when the USS Nashville captured a Spanish merchant ship. 1915 At the Second Battle of Ypres the Germans became the first country to use poison gas. 1918 British naval forces attempted to sink block-ships in the German U-boat bases at the Battle of Zeeburgge. 1930 The U.S., Britain and Japan signed the London Naval Treaty, which regulated submarine warfare and limited shipbuilding. 1931 Egypt signed the treaty of friendship with Iraq. 1931 James G. Ray landed an autogyro on the lawn of the White House. 1944 During World War II, the Allies launched a major attack against the Japanese in Hollandia, New Guinea. 1952 An atomic test conducted in Nevada was the first nuclear explosion shown on live network television. 1997 In Lima, Peru government commandos storm and capture the residence of the Japanese ambassador ending a 126-day hostage crisis. In the rescue 71 hostages were saved. Those killed: one hostage (of a heart attack), two soldiers, and all 14 rebels. 2000 Elian Gonzalez was reunited with his father in Cuba. He had to be taken from his Miami relatives by U.S. agents in a predawn raid. 2002 Filippino President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo ordered a state of emergency in the city of General Santos in response to a series of bombing attacks the day before. The attacks were blamed on Muslim extremists. 2010 The Boeing X-37 began its first orbital mission. It successfully returned to Earth on December 3, 2010. 2019 Do smiled. |
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