Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, October 19 We got 10cm (4 inches) of snow, and it is still snowing. -9 degrees C. Forecast says it won't warm up until April. Then, according to the 172 year cycles, we will get Gullible Warming untill next October. ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Wichita man sentenced to 30 years in prison for 2018 home invasion _____________________________________________________ Today, October 18 in 1969 U.S. Vice President Spiro Agnew referred to anti-Vietnam War protesters "an effete corps of impudent snobs." _____________________________________________________ Seeing ourselves as others would probably confirm our worst suspicions about them. --- Franklin P. Jones _____________________________________________________ Overheard at drug store last week. Standing near the check out stand, a teenager spotted a display of condoms. "Hey Dad, what's a three pack for?" remarks the teenager. "Those are for the weekend. Two for Friday night, and one for Saturday" remarked the father. "Then Dad, what's a six pack for?" "That's when she moves in to your pad. Two for Friday night, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday". "Then Dad, what's a twelve pack for?" "That's for when your married. One for January, one for February, one for......." _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ The tall, handsome, confident gentleman walked over to the girl and made a disparaging remark about the men who had been chatting her up. She laughed gaily, "When I don't want a man's attentions," she confided, "and he asks where I live, I just say, 'I'm visiting here'." "Ha-ha," he laughed, relishing her humor. "Where do you really live?" "I'm just visiting here." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ora Munger, 42, Medicine Lodge, Kansas, USA Wichita man sentenced to 30 years in prison for 2018 home invasion A 42-year-old Wichita man has been sentenced to 351 months in prison for a 2018 home invasion in rural Barber County. Ora Munger was sentenced on Wednesday to nearly 30 years for one count of attempted second-degree murder, three counts of aggravated robbery, two counts of mistreatment of an elder person and on count of criminal damage in the amount of over $1,000 but less than $25,000. Munger pleaded guilty to all charged on Sept. 4. The crimes occurred in July 2018 near Medicine Lodge. A judge ordered Munger to serve the time consecutively with a 152 month prison sentence he received for crimes he committed in Sumner County in July 2018. Munger pleaded guilty in September 2019 to one count each of kidnapping, theft, arson and attempted aggravated robbery with a firearm. The case was investigated by the Barber County Sheriff's Office and the Kansas Bureau of Investigation. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Janine RE: New Window Dear Webby, Normally I want my browser to re-use already open windows, so that it doesn't gobble up more memory than my computer has. But occasionally I DO want a link to go to a brand new window without losing the one that is open. Is there a way to do that without changing all the settings in my browser? Thanks Janine Dear Janine Yes, sure ther is. Hold down SHIFT while you click on that link. A brand new browser window will open with that link on it. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ One day at a trial, an eminent psychologist was called to testify. A severe no nonsense professional, she sat down in the witness chair unaware that it's rear legs were set precariously on the back of the raised platform. "Will you state your name?" asked the district attorney. Tilting back in her chair she opened her mouth to answer, but instead catapulted head-over-heels backward and landed in a stack of exhibits and recording equipment. Everyone watched in stunned silence as she extricated herself, rearranged her dishevelled dress and hair and was reseated on the witness stand. The glare she directed at onlookers dared anyone to so much as smirk. "Well, doctor," continued the district attorney without changing expression, "we could start with an easier question." ____________________________________________ The doctor was making his rounds and walked into the semi- private room in the hospital to examine old Mrs. Williams. After the exam in his best professional voice, he said smoothly, "You are coughing much more easily this morning." "I should," snapped the patient. "I've been practicing all night." ____________________________________________ A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon." Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago." Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what was it she wanted?" The clerk smiled and said... "Rapes in the underground parkade." ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today October 19 in 1765 In the U.S., The Stamp Act Congress met and drew up a declaration of rights and liberties. 1781 British General Charles Lord Cornwallis surrendered to U.S. General George Washington at Yorktown, Virginia. It was to be the last major battle of the American Revolutionary War. 1812 Napoleon Bonaparte's French forces began their retreat out of Russia after a month of chasing the retreating Russian army. 1814 In Baltimore, MD, the first documented performance of "The Defence of Fort McHenry" with music took place at the Holliday Street Theatre. The work was later published under the title "The Star-Spangled Banner." 1914 In the U.S., government owned vehicles were first used to pick up mail in Washington, DC. 1915 The U.S. recognized General Venustiano Carranza as the president of Mexico. The U.S. imposed embargo to all parts of Mexico except where Carranza was in control. 1933 Basketball was introduced to the 1936 Olympic Games by the Berlin Organization Committee. 1943 The Moscow Conference of Foreign Ministers began in Russia during World War II. Delegates from the U.S.S.R., Great Britain, the U.S., and China met to discuss war aims and cooperation between the nations. 1944 The U.S. Navy announced that black women would be allowed into Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service (WAVES). 1950 The United Nations forces entered the North Korean capital of Pyongyang. 1951 U.S. President Truman signed an act officially ending the state of war with Germany. 1959 Patty Duke, at the age of 12, made her Broadway debut in "The Miracle Worker." The play lasted for 700 performances. 1960 The United States imposed an embargo on exports to Cuba covering all commodities except medical supplies and certain food products. 1969 U.S. Vice President Spiro Agnew referred to anti-Vietnam War protesters "an effete corps of impudent snobs." 1974 The news program "Weekend" debuted on NBC. 1977 The Concorde made its first landing in New York City. 1983 The U.S. Senate approved a bill establishing a national holiday in honor of Martin Luther King Jr. 1987 The Dow Jones industrial average dropped 508 points. It was the worst one-day percentage decline, 22.6%, in history. 1989 The U.S. Senate rejected a proposed constitutional amendment that barred the desecration of the American flag. 1993 Benazir Bhutto was returned to the premiership of Pakistan. 1998 In Washington, DC, Microsoft went on trial to defend against an antitrust case. 1998 Former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson got his boxing license back after he had lost it for biting Evander Holyfield's ear during a fight. 2003 In London, magician David Blaine emerged from a clear plastic box that had been suspended by a crane over the banks of the Thames River. He survived only on water for 44 days. Blaine had entered the box on September 5. 2006 The Dow Jones industrial average ended the day at 12,011.73. It was the first close above 12,000. 2009 The international version of Amazon's Kindle 2 was released. 2020 Do smiled. |
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