Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, August 26 Thank you Andrew! I really appreciate your help! Thank you, Joseph! I really appreciate your help! Wow! TWO people, who appreciate my work amd show it! _____________________________________________________ Today, August 26 in 55 B.C. Britain was invaded by Roman forces under Julius Caesar. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Gravy-covered laptop >> child porn bust _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious. --- William Feather (1908 - 1976) The wisdom of the wise, and the experience of ages, may be preserved by quotation. --- Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881) _______________________________________________ All the way home in the back seat of the car the boy was quiet. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a good Christian home, but I want to stay with you guys instead. ________________________________________________` Thanks to Linda for this picture: Tornado looking for a trailer court _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Robert Leo Watson, 54, Des Moines, Iowa Gravy-covered laptop >> child porn bust The Iowa man whose child porn stash was discovered by Best Buy workers when he brought in his gravy covered computer for repairs has pleaded guilty to charges for which he could be sentenced to a maximum of 20 years in prison. During a court appearance late last month, Robert Leo Watson, 54, copped to 10 child porn possession charges, according to a court filing. Each count carries a maximum two-year prison term and a minimum fine of $625 Watson, who has been jailed since his arrest in late-April, is scheduled for sentencing on September 26 in District Court in Des Moines. As detailed in a criminal complaint, Watson's legal troubles began after he brought a damaged laptop into Best Buy for examination by Geek Squad members. The computer ceased functioning because he had spilled gravy on the keyboard rendering this device unusable. Watson purchased a replacement machine and paid an additional fee to have the files on his used gravy covered computer transferred to his newly purchased computer," a Des Moines Police Department investigator noted. It was during the subsequent file migration that Best Buy workers discovered the illicit images, prompting them to contact police. Watson had saved the child porn photos under file names like 13 year old and 14 year old. During police questioning, Watson confessed to downloading images of 14 and 15 year olds that he felt were about to have sex. He claimed to have downloaded the photos because he wanted to tell other people about them. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Dina Re: Music stops Dear Webby, I use IE for playing Accu Radio as background music in the office. That has worked fine for decades, but lately it stopped once or twice a day. Then I have to close the IE and open it again. Is there a problem with Accu Radio or is it my computer? Thanks Dina Dear Dina The problem is IE. I realize that IE is convenient for background programs, so that you can shrink them out of the way, without affecting the browser window sizes of other or new browser windows, but IE is simply not safe or reliable enough. Make sure you have ALL IE Windows closed, not just minimized, when you go to PayPal, any bank or onto a shopping cart, and use only FireFox or Chrome or Opera for those. Type or paste your custom URL for AccuRadio, for example https://www.accuradio.com/featured/mostpopular/ into the FireFox address bar, hold down SHIFT, and then click on the little Do-To arrow at the right of the address bar. It will open in a new browser window, not in a new tab. Then you can shrink that new browser window, or keep it separate, so that you can mute the radio quickly when a voice call comes in, without affecting the volume of the voice and video calls. DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. >From Thomas My five-year-old nephew wanted to caddy for my brother's golf game. "You have to count my strokes," my brother told him. "How much is six plus nine plus eight?" "Five," answered the nephew. "Okay," my brother said, "let's go." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change. One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector. It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11-year-old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over two hours late. "Where have you been? Why are you over two hours late getting home?" asked John. "Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project," said Tommy. The robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair. "Son," said John, "this robot is a lie detector. Now tell us where you really were after school." "We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie," said Tommy. "What did you watch?" asked Marsha. "The Ten Commandments," answered Tommy. The robot went around to Tommy and slapped him again, knocking him off his chair once more. With his lip quivering, Tommy got up from the floor, sat down, and said, "I am sorry I lied. We really watched an R-rated movie." "I am ashamed of you, son," said John. "When I was your age, I never lied to my parents." The robot then walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair. Marsha! doubled over in laughter, almost in tears, and said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!" With that the robot immediately walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Address Books and Christmas Card List In your address book, using a red or green marker, place a "C" for Christmas next to last name of each person you wish to have on your Christmas list. This can easily been done even if you have your list on a PDA or computerized. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ | | medicine-ball-workouts-hula-hoop-tricks |
___________________________________________________ A friend of mine is responsible for alumni relations at his high-school alma mater. Last fall, a member of the Class of 86 returned the standard alumni questionnaire with this response: Marital Status - Not good Wife's Name - Plaintiff ___________________________________________________ I heard the dog barking before he and his owner actually barreled into our vet practice. Spotting a training video we sell, the owner wisely decided to buy one. "How does this work?" she asked, handing me a check. "Do I just have him watch this?" ___________________________________________________ Two intrepid explorers met in the heart of the Brazilian jungle. "I'm here," declared one, "to commune with nature in the raw, to contemplate the eternal verities and to widen my horizons. And you, sir?" "I," sighed the second explorer, "came because my young daughter has begun violin lessons." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, August 26 in 55 B.C. Britain was invaded by Roman forces under Julius Caesar. 1498 Michelangelo was commissioned to make the "Pieta." 1847 Liberia was proclaimed as an independent republic. 1873 The school board of St. Louis, MO, authorized the first U.S. public kindergarten. 1896 In the Philippines an insurrection began against the Spanish government. 1920 The 19th amendment to the U.S. Constitution went into effect. The amendment prohibited discrimination on the basis of sex in the voting booth. 1934 Adolf Hitler demanded that France return the Saar region to Germany. 1937 All Chinese shipping was blockaded by Japan. 1939 The first televised major league baseball games were shown. The event was a double-header between the Cincinnati Reds and the Brooklyn Dodgers. 1945 The Japanese were given surrender instructions on the U.S. battleship Missouri at the end of World War II. 1957 It was announced that an intercontinental ballistic missile was successfully tested by the Soviet Union. 1957 The first Edsel made by the Ford Motor Company rolled of the assembly line. The media promptly badmouthed it. 1978 Sigmund Jahn blasted off aboard the Russian Soyuz 31 and became the first German in space. 1981 The U.S. claimed that North Korea fired an antiaircraft missile at a U.S. Surveillance plane while it was over South Korea. 1987 The Fuller Brush Company announced plans to open two retail stores in Dallas, TX. The company that had sold its products door to door for 81 years. 1990 The 55 Americans from the U.S. Embassy in Kuwait left Baghdad by car and headed for the Turkish border. 1991 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev promised that national elections would be held. 1992 A "no-fly zone" was imposed on the southern 1/3 of Iraq. The move by the U.S., France and Britain was aimed at protecting Iraqi Shiite Muslims. 1998 The U.S. government announced that they were investigating Microsoft in an attempt to discover if they "bullied" Intel into delaying new technology. 2019 Do smiled. |
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