Googlad0r Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, November 3, 2020 ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Florida Man arrested for attack on 68-year-old Uber driver _____________________________________________________ Today, October 28 in 1957 Sputnik II was launched by the Soviet Union. It was the second manmade satellite to be put into orbit and was the first to put an animal into space, a dog named Laika. _____________________________________________________ Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. --- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001) The purpose of life is to fight maturity. --- Dick Werthimer _____________________________________________________ Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?" "My father said it'd be a good idea, sir." "Oh? And what does your father do?" "He's in the Army, sir." _____________________________________________________ Looks like the West end of my lake up in the Yukon. I often regret that I moved South after 30 years in the Yukon. ___________________________________________________ Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir." Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, "What do you want?" "Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "just here to hook up your telephone." __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christopher Vacha, 30, Treasure Island, Florida, USA Florida Man arrested for attack on 68-year-old Uber driver An Uber driver was assaulted by a passenger who was told that he would have to wear a mask if he wanted to ride in the victims vehicle, Florida cops say. According to an arrest affidavit, Christopher Vacha, 30, yesterday summoned an Uber around 4:30 AM to a waterfront apartment complex in Treasure Island. When the car arrived, driver Raymond Jackson, 68, told Vacha he had to wear a mask or he could not ride. Vacha, investigators allege, then blew into [Jacksons] face through driver window. When Jackson exited his car, Vacha punched him in the face, the affidavit charges. Pictured at right, Vacha was arrested for aggravated battery on a person aged 65 or older, a felony. He was also charged with resisting for allegedly ignoring police orders to place his hands behind his back. Vacha is locked up in the Pinellas County jail on $50,000 bond on the battery count. A judge has ordered him to have no contact with Jackson. Vachas rap sheet includes convictions for driving under the influence, theft, reckless driving, and resisting an officer with violence. Arrest records list Vachas employer as a Treasure Island restaurant, while a web site indicates that he is also affiliated with an aerial photography firm specializing in drone images. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Lorna RE: Transfer email to a new machine Dear Webby, How do you transfer email to a new computer? Like you, I am using Eudora, and have since the early 90s. You helped me hose it over from XP to W7, but I forgot how. My dementheimers is almost as bad as Joe Who's. So, how do I do it, pretty please? Lorna Dear Lorna First dump any folders, that are obsolete, for example former lovers, politicians, etc. Dump spam and trash. Get a good size camera chip. They are making really huge ones now really cheap. Drag the entire Eudora folder onto the chip, including Eudora_6.2.5.6.exe, if you have the last of the good ones. The two nndbase files are your address book. Make sure you do not miss those! The mbx and the toc files are your mails. Then use your sneeaker net to haul the chip over to the new machine, copy it all into a new folder, make a shortcut to Eudora_6.2.5.6.exe, and run it. That is all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: Sure, buddy. Officer: That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again. Soldier: Do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: No, SIR! ____________________________________________ In the Ozarks, there was a mountaineer that was reputed to have the best hunting dog ever, by the name of Co-pilot. Three city folks went up in the mountains and wanted to rent him. "Good huntin dog, gonna cost ya $50.00 a day." They agreed, and three days later came back with the limit. The next year they came back. "Co-pilot got better, gonna cost ya $75.00 a day." Again they agreed, and 2 days later came back with the limit. The third year they came back and told the mountaineer they had to have Co-pilot, even if it cost $100.00 a day. "You can have the worthless mutt for $5.00 a day, and I'm overcharging you $4.00." "But we don't understand, what happened to him?" "Well, a crew from that there air base in Okaloosa County Florida come up and rented him. One of them idiots called him pilot, and he's been sitting on his ass barkin ever since." ____________________________________________ A sweet young lady thought she might have some fun with a stiff-looking military man at a cocktail party, so she walked over and asked him when was the last time he had had sex. "19 56," was his immediate reply. "No wonder you look so uptight!" she exclaimed. "Honey, you need to get out more." "I'm not sure I understand you," he answered, glancing at his watch. "It's only 20 14 now." ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today November 3 in 1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of Lisa Gherardini to paint her. The work is known as the Mona Lisa. 1631 The Reverend John Eliot arrived in the Massachusetts Bay Colony. He was the first Protestant minister to dedicate himself to the conversion of Native Americans to Christianity. 1793 Stephen F. Austin was born. He was the principal founder of Texas. 1839 The first Opium War between China and Britain erupted. 1892 The first automatic telephone went into service at LaPorte, IN. The device was invented by Almon Strowger. 1900 The first automobile show in the United States opened at New York's Madison Square Garden. 1903 Panama proclaimed its independence from Colombia. 1911 Chevrolet Motor Car Company was founded by Louis Chevrolet and William C. Durant. 1934 The first race track in California opened under a new pari-mutuel betting law. 1941 U.S. Ambassador to Japan John Grew warned that the Japanese may be fed up with the US waging indirect wars in Asia and were planning a sudden attack on the U.S. 1952 Frozen bread was offered for sale for the first time in a supermarket in Chester, NY. 1957 Sputnik II was launched by the Soviet Union. It was the second manmade satellite to be put into orbit and was the first to put an animal into space, a dog named Laika. 1973 The U.S. launched the Mariner 10 spacecraft. On March 29, 1974 it became the first spacecraft to reach the planet Mercury. 1979 Five members of the Communist Workers' Party are shot to death in broad daylight at an anti-Ku Klux Klan rally in Greensboro, NC. Eight others were wounded. 1986 The Ash-Shiraa, pro-Syrian Lebanese magazine, first broke the story of U.S. arms sales to Iran to secure the release of seven American hostages. The story turned into the Iran-Contra affair. 1987 China told the U.S. that it would halt the sale of arms to Iran. 1991 Israeli and Palestinian representatives held their first- ever face-to-face talks in Madrid, Spain. 1992 Carol Moseley-Braun became the first African-American woman U.S. senator. 1994 Susan Smith of Union, SC, was arrested for drowning her two sons. Nine days earlier Smith had claimed that the children had been abducted by a black carjacker. 1995 U.S. President Clinton dedicated a memorial at Arlington National Cemetery to the 270 victims of the bombing of Pan Am Flight 103. 1998 A state-run newspaper in Iraq urged the country to prepare for to battle "the U.S. monster." 1998 Minnesota elected Jesse "The Body" Ventura, a former pro wrestler, as its governor. 2002 At Kai Tak Airport in Hong Kong, 777 people assembled a 58,435 square foot jigsaw puzzle with 21,600 pieces. 2003 In Kabul, Afghanistan, a post-Taliban draft constitution was unveiled. 2005 Walt Disney Pictures released "Chicken Little." It was the first Disney film completely created with computer animation. 2014 In New York City, One World Trade Center opened for business. 2020 Do smiled. |
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