Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday November 15 I am chipped now. To take a glucose reading I wave the recorder near my left arm. It takes the data wirelessly, tells me if it is going up, down, sideways, up or down fast, and puts the data into a graph. Once a week I connect the recorder (credit card size but as thick as your Sillyphone) to a USB port and upload the data to the PCN (Pretty Cute Nurse) Then she nags me via email if the glucose level was too high at any time. The only time I have to poke my finger the old fashioned way is if the graph shows an unbelievable jag. I still have to inject insulin the old fashioned way. No WiFi for that, yet. Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award: British mum secretly hoarded 240,000 of cocaine, some in daughter's Kinder eggs ______________________________________________________ Today, November 15 in 1806 Explorer Zebulon Pike spotted the mountaintop that became known as Pikes Peak. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
At 18 our convictions are hills from which we look; At 45 they are caves in which we hide. --- F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940) Most people want to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. --- Robert Orben ______________________________________________________ When Jill decided to improve her computer skills, she threw herself into it with enthusiasm. Every week she'd check out two or three instructional books from the library. After about a month the librarian commented, "Wow! You must really be getting knowledgeable at this stuff." "Thanks," Jill said. "What makes you say that?" The librarian answered, "Only one of the books you're checking out this week has 'For Dummies' in the title." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two sisters had been given parts in a Christmas pageant at their Church. At dinner that night, they got into an argument as to who had the most important role. Finally the 12-year-old said to her 8-year-old younger sister, "Well, you just ask Mom. She'll tell you it's much harder to be a virgin than it is to be an angel!" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dave for bringing back this classic: One evening after dinner, a five-year-old boy noticed that his mother had gone out and he asked his father, "Where did Mommy go?" In answer to his question, he was told, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party." This explanation satisfied him for only a moment. Puzzled, he asked, "What's a Tupperware party, Daddy?" The man had always given his son honest answers, so he figured a simple explanation would be the best approach. "Well, son," he said, "at a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other." He nodded, indicating that he understood this curious pastime. Then he burst out into laughter and said, "Come on, Dad! What is it really?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Clare Tague, 32, Manchester, Britain British mum secretly hoarded 240,000 of cocaine, some in daughter's Kinder eggs A mum-of-one hoarded 240,000 worth of cocaine in her bedroom after finding it on a walk near her home then led a secret double life to hide it from her boyfriend and daughter. Clare Tague, 32, who has been jailed for six years, even hid some of the cocaine in her 11-year-old's Kinder egg boxes. The 1.2kg stash had been dumped in a field near Tague's home in Clayton, Manchester, and after she was rumbled she told police: 'I found it on the field and was going to sell it on for money why didn't I just leave it where it was.' Police got a tip off she was hoarding the drugs and last May seized the haul during a raid on her home. Tague claimed she had planned to sell the drugs to pay off gambling debts and during the raid police found four mobile phones and a list of 'figures' among shopping lists. Manchester Crown Court heard Tague had stashed snap bags inside 10 Kinder eggs at a street value of 2,000 to 5,000. Prosecuting, Alison Heyworth said: 'A number of bags and packages of cocaine were recovered from their bedroom. Three packages of cocaine were found there. 'Two blocks were found wrapped in tissue paper. 'The compressed blocks of cocaine were likely to be sold in bulk and could range in value between 4,000 and 50,000.' She added that an Asda bag found in Tague's wardrobe contained another six blocks of cocaine at 61% purity, ranging from 124g to 349g. 'This had a value range of 18,000 to 75,000,' the prosecutor said. Tague was arrested alongside her partner during the raid on May 18 but she pulled one officer aside and indicated that her partner didn't know about the bags. 'She said why didn't I just leave it where it was. I found it on the field and was going to sell it on for money ,' Ms Heyworth told the court. 'They found further plastic bags under the bin bag in the bin including 80 snap bags. 'These were ready to be sold on directly and had a value worth of 3,000 to 7,000.' The total value of cocaine found at Tague's home valued between 28,000 and 238,000, she said. Defence lawyer Rachel White told the court that Tague had always worked but after her father's death she became depressed and developed a gambling addiction. 'This was all to try to get rid of the debt,' she said. 'There is no evidence of a lavish lifestyle and she didn't drag her partner into the proceedings.' Ed Re: Mouse Driver Dear Webby I followed your advice and got a Logitech wireless 7 button mouse. It came with a CD for the drivers. Unfortunately, this old klunker does not have a working CD drive anymore. Now what? Ed Dear Ed Just plug the little wirless transceiver into a USB port. Windows has the basic drivers for it and will install them. Then Logitech will show up in the start panel and you can go in there and customize the settings. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Thanks to Sandie for this one: A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy two servings per night and a few more on weekends, I consume 3,500 calories of chocolate in a week, which equals to one pound of weight per week. Therefore, in the last three and a half years, I have had a chocolate caloric intake of about 180 pounds. I only weigh 165 pounds, so without chocolate, I would have wasted away to nothing about three months ago. I owe my life to chocolate! | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Thanks to Roland for this: One little punctuation mark would have made a world of difference in the gigantic sign I saw posted outside a local family restaurant: "Kids Under 12 Eat Free Live Clown Every Wednesday." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Softening Brown Sugar Put a slice of bread in a bag of brown sugar that has become hard and then seal the bag. The brown sugar will soften within a couple of days, then discard the bread. In a hurry, just grate the clumps using a hand grater or put in the microwave for a few seconds. Brown sugar is not raw sugar. Ancient laws require all sugar to be fully refined. It is simply flavored and moistened with a bit of molasses. DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She'd made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she reported, and they'd eaten half of it at dinner. The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half, until finally she cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to another, and soon the whole cake was gone. The woman went on to tell us how upset she was with her lack of willpower, and how she knew her husband would be disappointed. Everyone commiserated, until someone asked what her husband said when he found out. She smiled. "He never found out. I made another cake and ate half!" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A little boy, excited about his part in the Christmas play at school, came home and shouted, "I got a part in the Christmas play! I got a part in the Christmas play!" "What part did you get?" asked his mother excitedly. "I'm one of the three wise guys!" | Today November 15 in 1777 The Continental Congress approved the Articles of Confederation, precursor to the U.S. Constitution. 1806 Explorer Zebulon Pike spotted the mountaintop that became known as Pikes Peak. 1864 Union Gen. William T. Sherman and his troops began their "March to the Sea" during the U.S. Civil War. 1867 the first stock ticker was unveiled in New York City. 1889 Brazil's monarchy was overthrown. 1901 Miller Reese patented an electrical hearing aid. 1902 Anarchist Gennaro Rubin failed in his attempt to murder King Leopold II of Belgium. 1920 The League of Nations met for the first time in Geneva, Switzerland. 1926 The National Broadcasting Co. (NBC) debuted with a radio network of 24 stations. The first network radio broadcast was a four-hour "spectacular." 1940 The first 75,000 men were called to Armed Forces duty under peacetime conscription. 1965 The Soviet probe, Venera 3, was launched from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On March 1, 1966, it became the first unmanned spacecraft to reach the surface of another planet when it crashed on Venus. 1966 The flight of Gemini 12 ended successfully as astronauts James A. Lovell and Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin Jr. splashed down safely in the Atlantic Ocean. 1969 In Washington, DC, a quarter of a million protesters staged a demonstration against the Vietnam War. 1985 Britain and Ireland signed an accord giving Dublin an official consultative role in governing Northern Ireland. 1986 A government tribunal in Nicaragua convicted American Eugene Hasenfus of charges related to his role in delivering arms to Contra rebels. He was sentenced to 30 years in prison and was pardoned a month later. 1986 Ivan F. Boesky, reputed to be the highest-paid person on Wall Street, faced penalties of $100 million for insider stock trading. It was the highest penalty ever imposed by the SEC. 1988 The Palestine National Council, the legislative body of the PLO, proclaimed the establishment of an independent Palestinian state at the close of a four-day conference in Algiers. 1992 Richard Petty drove in the final race of his 35-year career. 1993 A judge in Mineola, NY, sentenced Joey Buttafuoco to six months in jail for the statutory rape of Amy Fisher. Fisher was serving a prison sentence for shooting and wounding Buttafuoco's wife, Mary Jo. 1995 Texaco agreed to pay $176 million to settle a race- discrimination lawsuit. 1999 Representatives from China and the United States signed a major trade agreement that involved China's membership in the World Trade Organization (WTO). 2000 Three police officers from the Rampart division of the Los Angeles police department were convicted on several counts of conspiracy to obstruct justice. One other officer was acquitted. The case was the first major case against the anti-gang unit. 2005 In Amiens, France, Isabelle Dinoire became the first person to undergo a partial face transplant. She had been attacked by a dog earlier in the year. 2006 Andy Warhol's painting of Communist Party Chairman Mao Zedong sold for $17.4 million. At the same auction "Orange Marilyn" sold for $16.2 million and "Sixteen Jackies" sold for $15.6 million. 2018 Do smiled. |
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