Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, February 15 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! Today I have to go to Calgary for injections into my eyeballs. That means there won't be a Humor Letter on Saturday, Sunday or Monday. You get a vacation! Today's Bonehead Award: Florida man hits random girl in face, fights girl's friends, deputies say ______________________________________________________ Today, February 15 in 2002 U.S. President George W. Bush approved Nevada's Yucca Mountain as a site for long-term disposal of radioactive nuclear waste. After it was half completed, the Democrats stopped the project for political reasons. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
They certainly give very strange names to diseases. --- Plato (427 BC - 347 BC) Most men are within a finger's breadth of being mad. --- Diogenes the Cynic Reality is something women rise above. --- Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the copilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system. "Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed when, many thousands of years ago, a lump of nickel and iron, roughly 150 feet in diameter and weighing 300,000 tons, struck the earth at about 40,000 miles an hour, scattering white-hot debris for miles in every direction. The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep." From the cabin, a passenger was heard to exclaim, "Wow! It just missed the highway!" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ My friend Tim took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned toward marriage. Tim had been saving for an engagement ring - but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a computer. Mary was understanding, telling Tim they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead. During dessert, Tim suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring. Mary was stunned. But after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted, "Well, don't you have something to ask me?" Tim then got down on bended knee. "Honey," he said, "will you buy me a computer?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dylan Kenneth Dodson, 24, St. Johns County Florida Florida man hits random girl in face, fights girl's friends, deputies say Dylan Kenneth Dodson, 24, of St. Johns County was arrested Friday night after he allegedly hit a girl in her face, according to a St. Johns County Sheriff's Office arrest report. Deputies said the girl, a juvenile, did not know Dodson and said he appeared to be impaired by some kind of drug. She told deputies, Dodson walked up to her while she was with a group of friends and hit her in the nose. According to an arrest report, the girl's boyfriend pushed Dodson, defending the girl, prior to a fight that broke out between Dodson and her friends. When deputies arrived to the scene, the report states, Dodson was belligerent. He was immediately put in handcuffs and placed in the patrol car where he reportedly began kicking the door, causing minor damage to the car. Dodson was then placed in leg restraints. While on the way to the St. Johns County Jail, he yelled, "Your a b****" and "I'm going to f*** you up," to the deputy, the report stated. Dodson faces a felony charge for cruelty toward a child and a misdeanor for resisting an officer. From: Lillie Re: Virus alert hoax Dear DearWebby, Thanks for terrific daily mail. You are the All Knowing of computer business. You'd know if there's any validity to the "Virus Alert" mentioned here. Hopefully it's a hoax. Thanks, Lillie Please read: Big Virus coming Hi All, I checked with Norton Anti-Virus, and they are gearing up for this virus! I checked Snopes (Please read: Big Virus coming Blah, Blah, Blah Dear Lillie Just old moron-bait. CNN, Microsoft, Burger King, Taco Bell, etc. don't announce or classify viruses. Norton and McAfee don't use AOLers to tell people about viruses via nuisance forwards. They have automatic updates for those who paid for a subscription, and they really don't give a hoot about those who did not pay. Just dump that and ignore it. Have Fun! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few days of captivity, they can train humans to stand at the edge of the pool and throw them fish? | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Two kids are talking to each other. One says, "I'm really worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a nice home and good food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I'm worried sick!" The other kid says, "What have you got to worry about? Sounds to me like you've got it made!" The first kid says, "What if they try to escape?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Buying Firewood It's always best to shop for firewood before you need it. Sometimes you can find great deals in the spring and summer. Look for classified ads, bulletin boards and neighborhood signs. Firewood is generally sold in cords, face cords, ricks or truckloads. In some areas they log in summer and when it is too cold for that, they sell and deliver. Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | Your daily dose of internet. |
___________________________________________________ Medical Advice (A) The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. (B) On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. (C) The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. (D) The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than British or Americans. (E) Conclusion: Eat & drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you. ___________________________________________________ "Doctor!" whined the patient. "I keep seeing spots before my eyes." The physician scratched his head, "Why have you come to me? Have you seen an opthalmologist?" "No," replied the patient, "just spots." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
During an arctic training exercise in Alaska intense cold played havoc with vehicles and equipment. One harassed battery commander was trying to cope with vehicles that wouldn't run and machinery that wouldn't work. He was wondering what else could go wrong when the door flew open and a soldier rushed in and announced, "Hey, captain, the northern lights are out! Exasperated and without looking, the captain barked, "Well, don't tell me! Go get the generator mechanic and have him fix the darnn things!" ___________________________________________________ | Today February 15 in 1758 Mustard was advertised for the first time in America. 1799 Printed ballots were authorized for use in elections in the state of Pennsylvania. 1898 The USS Maine sank when it exploded in Havana Harbor for unknown reasons. More than 260 crew members were killed. 1900 The British threaten to use natives in their war with the Boers. 1903 Morris and Rose Michtom, Russian immigrants, introduced the first teddy bear in America. 1933 U.S. President-elect Franklin Roosevelt escaped an assination attempt in Miami. Chicago Mayor Anton J. Cermak was killed in the attack. 1942 During World War II, Singapore surrendered to the Japanese. 1961 A Boeing 707 crashed in Belgium killing 73 people. 1965 Canada displayed its new red and white maple leaf flag. The flag was to replace the old English style Red Ensign standard. 1982 During a storm, the Ocean Ranger, a drilling rig, sank off the coast of Newfoundland. 84 men were killed. 1985 The Center for Disease Control reported that more than half of all nine-year-olds in the U.S. showed no sign of tooth decay. 1989 After nine years of intervention, the Soviet Union announced that the remainder of its troops had left Afghanistan. The CIA funded, armed and trained Taliban had given them too much of a hard time. 1991 The leaders of Czechoslovakia, Hungary and Poland signed the Visegard agreement, in which they pledged to cooperate in transforming thier countries to free-market economies. 1995 The FBI arrested Kevin Mitnick and charged him with cracking security in some of the nation's most protected computers. He served five years in jail. 2002 U.S. President George W. Bush approved Nevada's Yucca Mountain as a site for long-term disposal of radioactive nuclear waste. After it was half completed, the Democrats stopped the project for political reasons. 2019 Do smiled. |
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